Finding faith again

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
He lost his faith, his wife, and was left to raise his baby alone. But one stormy night everything changed.

Submitted: July 20, 2016

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Submitted: July 20, 2016

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Thunder rolled like a train on its tracks never ending in the night. It woke up my 6 month old baby girl, Susan, and that woke me up. It was 2:50 am when she woke up crying and 2:51 am when I woke up to check on her. At precisely 2:53 am lighting struck the 60 year old oak tree in my front yard, causing it to crash through the house landing 6 feet from me. Where I had been laying asleep only 2 minutes prior. I turned to hold my baby girl to see if she was unharmed and I swear I saw an angel floating next her smiling and then to disappear into the night air.  My faith had been struggling after my wife died during childbirth... Being a single parent is tough enough but also losing your wife at the same time is even harder... But after seeing that and knowing that God saved my baby girl from becoming an orphan. I knew that he was real.
 
My name is William Roberts and this is the story of how I got my faith back. My wife's name was Isabel she was pregnant with my daughter, Susan. It was extremely hard for my wife to get pregnant, the doctor gave her a two percent chance of conceiving and only an one percent chance of the baby actuality coming to term. I was sitting next to her, seeing the tears flow like rivers from her sea green eyes when the doctor told us that news. I prayed to God everyday asking for strength and for  the chance that my wife and I could have a child of our own. I wasn't a rich man and I couldn't afford anything to help increase the chances of my wife getting pregnant. But faith was free and praying was too, so every night before I left my barn I got down on both knees, put my old John deer hat between my hands and prayed till my knees ached and my hat was beaded with tears. After I felt in my heart that he heard me I got up and brushed off my worn out wranglers, patched up more times that I could count, and would walk to the house to check on my wife. When I got inside I saw my wife crying and smiling at the same time. "Isabel, what's wrong honey?" I asked and she just started to laugh and cry more. She was holding something white in her hands and she looked at me " William! You're going to be a daddy!" She cried. I dropped to my knees and started crying with disbelief. "The doctor said it would be next to impossible!" I said Isabel just looked at me and said " God makes the impossible possible"
 
The next 8 months went by so fast it was a blur of ultrasounds, picking baby names, finding out it was a girl and naming her after my grandmother and painting the nursery pink with blue trees. It was the happiest time in my 30 years of life. But bad things happen to good people. May 13th was the worst day I've every had. I was coming in from the barn around 10 pm and found my wife doubled over in pain. I rushed her to the ER.  I burst open the hospital door yelling "my wife is in pain, she's a little over 8 months pregnant. Help her please!" The nurses came running over and got her into a wheelchair. The last image I had of my wife was her screaming and holding her belly as the nurse wheeled her off.
 
The doctor told me to stay out of the operating room. One hour passed then another and then three more. Each second lasted forever, finally the doctor came out with his hands bloody and told me that my baby had her umbilical chord wrapped around her neck but it's completely fine "she's a big one Will, she's almost 9 pounds! She's healthy for almost a month premature." He told me. As he said that one of the nurses said " doctor come fast we need you now!" He turned to me and said " stay here Will, I promise everything will be fine." As a fool I believed him. 
 
I fell down on both knees crying when he told me my wife passed 2 minutes after childbirth. The doctor got down and told me "Will, you still have a baby that needs you. She's more scared than any of us, in a strange new world. She'll need your hand if she's gonna grow strong. Remember God is challenging you right now." I turned to him and yelled "there is no God here. Only a broken man, my wife is dead doctor. Why would any God force his children through hardship?!" The doctor just replied " God sent his only son to the cross for our sins William. He challenges us so he knows we are ready. We pray for strength he gives us the will to find more. God is real William. And he loves you and your new born daughter."
 
Three days past and I'm in a wrinkly black suit holding a new born girl while her mother is being buried next to her parents in the family lot. It was a beautiful service, her living family members all came, most of her friends too. My brother Richard patted me on the back and said "don't worry big brother I'll be here for a few days to help you and Susan out. Love ya willy" and he walked off to answer a phone call. I couldn't be mad that he took a phone call at my wife's furnal. He was a lawyer for a big law firm in New York City. I was glad he came to help while he could, I needed all the help I could get at the moment. 
 
 
Days went slow at first, like ice melting in your hand, slowly but then all at once. I had thrown out every bible I owned because I didn't believe that he was on my side anymore. I didn't have a wife, my daughter didn't have a mother and I no longer had my faith. 
 
I put Susan down for bed around 9:00pm trying to beat the storm brewing outside. I was bone tired from taking care of her and trying to work, I was 2 months behind on almost every bill except the insurance. I laid my head down on my pillow and a second later I was dreaming of my wife smiling telling me it's gonna be okay. I was woken up by my baby crying and with the storm raging outside I knew she wouldn't go back to sleep. I got out of bed to sooth her back to sleep. Lighting flashed and I heard the oak outside crack and it landed right where I had been sleeping. I turned to look at Susan and I saw an angel smiling and disappearing into the wind. God didn't turn his back on me nor my daughter. I knew that he would protect my daughter as long as she had faith. Never give up on your faith, keep your head up and know that God loves you.
 

 


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