You said you wouldn't leave

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Basically its about a boy Max who fell in love with Mckenna and when things get rough he decides to leave her etc.... more details soon

Submitted: July 23, 2016

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Submitted: July 23, 2016

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Mckenna point of view

Im casually laying in bed at night well not really night its 2:54 on a sunday morning. The whole house is in darkness and im the only one still awake as the dogs sleeps beside me. I started thinking after our break up i put amazing photos of my self with others trying to get your attention but you never seen them so i looked on instagram and snapchat and you said to me "I hope we can be friends" but yet you delete me off all social network apart from facebook are you having a laugh. once upon a time i meant every thing to you and now im nothing or maybe im the dirt at the bottom of your shoe that you dont care about. A few weeks earlier one of my best friends told me why you left me they said "You still love me, but your tired of worrying about me". i envy you, you want to know why because through all my doctors appointments every month, with all the break downs and the pain you walked away because it was the easiest option and i can't do that, i wish that i could wake up in the morning feeling perfectly fine, to be able to sports that i used to be able to play but i can no longer get to do that.  The day we broke up you couldn't even have the courage to say it to my face i was sat beside you after for over a week you would ignore my messages when i would go to your house you wouldnt speak to me all you woulddo is go on your phone with no care in the world and you sent me a message telling me you didnt want to be with me. Ever since ive seen you out with groups of girls doing things you never wanted to do with me and it made me think did you ever actually want me around. did you even care/ love me.  You say you did but how come i would always get ignored and was never your first choice. you make me feel like the size of a pea. we went through so much and you havent even messaged me to see how my health has been. while i sit at home alone upset and heart broken as i realise i will never love another again your out with your friends having the time of your life. I originally thought that the pain would go away after a few weeks and when i tried to move on one of my friends said dont give up on him yet he just needs time to think. time to think about what? he clearly doesnt want me its been over a month. we had made so many plans and they were all flushed down the toilet, the thing is i didnt just lose you i lost your family too.i grew so close to them all and one moment there all gone and its hard to face the facts. i have went so long wondering what i did wrong? why i would get ignored all the time? but i could never really think of any thing, my health effected our relationship i couldnt be with you all the time due to my health and you found it a big problem. I would be ill every day and after a year you gave up on me and my health and you went  your own way with out a care. One of the hardest things is i miss you so much and it seriously feels like you dont miss me at all. All of our friends are in relationships and im now sat thinking who can i talk to who can relate to my problem and im sitting there thinking and no one comes to mind because no one understands what im going through and its really difficult. I had a purpose to get out of the bed in the morning and now i have nothing, i have no reason to do anything any more. The other day i packed away all our old photos and jewlery and it hurt the fact that your no longer in my life and how quickly the times we shared became distant memories. you were the one who left even after you said you wouldnt, even after sayingyou would always be there,but truley where are you when i do need you? thats right your no where to be seen


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