TONGUE IN CHEEK

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Is truth stranger than fiction?

Submitted: July 25, 2016

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Submitted: July 25, 2016

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TONGUE IN CHEEK

 

 


"Hello, Mrs. Toddlinger. This is Mary Gall of Plotts Insurance Company. In order to cover the cost of your new orthotics you must not have visited a podiatrist after your initial claim with us.
According to the second claim that we have received, it appears that you have visited several doctors,the most recent, involving treatment for an ingrown toe nail. I am indeed sorry that we must deny your claim. Yes, I know how expensive orthotics can be. I'm sorry but we are not able to assist you at this time. Have a great day."


..................................................
Dear Mr. Preston,

This letter is in reference to your claim.

We apologize for the delay. Undoubtedly you would have read in the ‘small print' on page four of your insurance policy, that a claim for a physical accident of any nature, must be filed within twenty-four hours of said occurrence. Unfortunately, the date you have listed, exceeds this period by forty-eight hours.

Yours sincerely,

Mary Gall.

Plotts Insurance Company

……………………………….....................
 

"Why, hello Mrs. Humphrey--what a coincidence! I was just about to send a response to your e-mail claim. Mrs.Humphrey, I regret to inform you that your insurance claim has been denied. Yes, you neglected to answer question C-14 in the Health and Welfare section on page twenty, part V. Yes, page twenty. No, not part T, part V—yes, ‘V' as in vulture. In that part we clearly ask, ‘Did you, while travelling abroad over the past ten years, ever drink any beverages containing ice-cubes?' Yes, Mrs. Humphrey, you unfortunately failed to answer that question and for that reason your claim has been denied. I know, Mrs. Toddlinger, I really wish I could help, but we require that you answer all of the questions fully each time you make a claim. I hope that the new medication for your angina will not be too costly. Good bye."

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"Mary Gall! For a first day on the job, you have done exceptionally well!" Oscar Plotts, owner of Plotts Insurance Company beamed with delight ."I have been going over your hourly reports. We need more of your kind here."

"Why, thank you,” Mary said, smiling enthusiastically. I'm a graduate of U.L.A. you know."

"Is that the University of Los Angeles?"

"No, sir. The Universal Loophole Academy."

"Ah yes,” Oscar Plotts nodded, "Rightly so, rightly so."


© Copyright 2017 Lionel Walfish. All rights reserved.

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