The Eternal Nemesis

S.B.Scoular

I enjoyed this. There were a few little mistakes but nothing major.

I will deffos be back to review other chapters :)

Archia

This is a great start, it seems like it's going to be really interesting. Just briefly the prologue really set the scene well of what this land was like and the relationship between humans these creatures. I love this idea that the creatures can look like humans. It makes for an intriguing story.
Your descriptions are great, they definitely do well to set the scene and the characters. There's definitely not a lack in the image and scenes that you created, especially the fight scene you created. I think in something like this with fantasy creatures, it would be hard to picture this dragon-human and I know I would've been really off without the great descriptions. The characters are really described well and I can just picture them there.
Just a couple of things though; at points the descriptions seemed a little unnecesary and overdone. Like when you're describing the bedroom Serthe wakes up in you mention it's wood paneled and then a few paragraphs down you mention again about the wood. Also, and I may be wrong, but I don't think it's that important to know that it's an oak bed. Don't get me wrong, your descriptions are great and I could just be saying this because when I'm not very good at weaving descriptions in subtly so I avoid it, but it was just a litte too much and I think with too many descriptions all the time it can distract from the actions and emotions of the story. Also, and this is defintely me just being nitpicky, but you said ebony and ebon dragon a lot of times, and it's clear early on that he is an ebon dragon so I don't think it needs to be repeated.
You're tenses are a little off at times. There's quite a few times were you put words into past tense when they shouldn't be and I think it was mainly in speech and in their thoughts. I know the whole thing is in past tense, but in these moments it doesn't work. Like here “other than you, who is the only other creature I had ever known.” The 'had' should be 'have' because it's talking about something which is still going on, their friendship isn't in the past. And here ""So full of hopes, dreams, love, and ambition, despite the fact that they only lived for a few" The 'lived' shoudl be 'live'. Apart from that there's not really any other grammar issues, you definitely seem to be pretty good with grammar.
I thought it was a great way to begin with the fight and it makes you question what's going on and it ended at a high point which makes you want to know what's going to happen next. Also the first fight doesn't really make it clear which fighter is the "good" one, and it got me curious about who I wanted to win. Also it makes the rest more interesting as it tells of the story of how this came to be, and the characters, like Reims, turns up and adds another little hint to why this fight is happening. I think you really did the fight scene well, and gave away the perfect amount of information to make the rest more intriguing.
I think you've got a great idea here. I love that this is a fantasy with romance and adventure and just by this first chapter and prologue, it seems like all those elements will have a good balance in this. It definitely seems like it's going to be exciting, the very first scene suggested that. How it's going to end up I can't guess, which is great for a story because, especially when there's romance, things can get predictable. All in all this looks like it's going be exciting, and intriguing and a great read.