A Visit From My Uncle

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
My Uncle Ralph and Aunt Sue are paying a visit. What are we going to do?

Submitted: August 01, 2016

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Submitted: August 01, 2016

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A Visit From My Uncle.

“Take up some food and hide it.”
That's what my mother said
As I got up all bleary eyed
Out of my night time bed.

“Don't take too long about it,
We'll need to do it quick,
He is already on his way.”
Well that, it does the trick.

“Leave the fridge and freezer,
Although do remove the beer.
I don't want him to drink the lot
While he's sitting here.”

I fill up some grocery sacks
Then go and find a box,
When I'm done I'll hide it in
My cupboard with a lock.

“He'll be suspicious, don't take it all,
The cupboard can't be bare.
I'm going to leave you to it,
Just leave enough to share.”

I'm just finished as I see
The car pull into view
And in it is my Uncle Ralph,
Along with my Aunt Sue.

She climbs out and waits for him,
She will not approach alone.
She must be getting nervous
As she fiddles with her phone.

And there he is, my Uncle Ralph,
As wide as he is tall,
And now they're walking to the door,
Just fitting in the hall.

My Aunty Sue is tiny and
As nervous as a mouse,
You wouldn't really notice her
Alone inside your house.

My Uncle Ralph eats everything,
Attention and the food,
It's hard to get a word in
Without it seeming rude.

The sofa is a four-seater
But that is true no more
He'll spread himself across the lot
Aunt Sue will take the floor.

My mother is now a waitress
As she waits upon her brother
She never behaves quite like this
Around me or any other.

A tray of this, a plate of that,
A mug and then a glass.
I hold on to the thought that says,
'This visit, it won't last.'

And now he's off with talking,
He's a great one for the chat,
As long as it's a monologue.
He's very fond of that.

My eyes, they're getting heavy
And my head is in a daze,
I feel my mother's elbow
Intrude upon the haze.

He's asked me a question
And is waiting for response,
What am I supposed to say
Without seeming such a dunce?

I take a deep breath, start to speak,
But my Uncle's off again,
I've had a lucky escape
But my luck might not remain.

Dinner, it's a curious meal,
We're put off by the sight;
We've all just lost our appetites
To Uncle Ralph's delight.

The visit now is over as
They get back in their car,
I'm glad to say they rarely come
As their house, it is quite far.

The cans are back upon the shelf,
There's packets still in the house.
For once they haven't cleaned us out
Uncle Greed and Aunty Mouse!


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