The Difficulty With Speaking Out Loud

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
My experience of having difficulty reading out loud.

Submitted: August 05, 2016

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Submitted: August 05, 2016



I have a difficulty with speaking out loud. I've had this problem a long time. I don't have any difficulty reading to myself and depending on how many people are in the room or in hearing range, depends on whether or not I can read aloud. I hate people listening to me, it feels bad them hearing my voice and taking an interest in what I have to say despite the fact I'm reading from a page.

Originally, I thought I was just plain old shy and needed practice with doing this task, but since, I have realised, it is way more than that. It doesn't seem to matter how much I practice, I hate listening to my voice and hearing it. It sounds intimidating to me.

Isn't that strange?

Or stupid.

When I was younger stupid were those unable to read aloud or those clearly struggling with school work. I used to clam up and my throat would dry up so quickly I had to force the words as silence waited to hear me continue on with the next paragraph. Forcing the words out into a stuttering format brings with it horrible, inaudible sounds that only embarrass you more. The kids in class turn a little to look while the teacher stops to watch you. It's so horrible it can put you off reading for life. And with me, it nearly did.

Fortunately, I wanted to read despite my difficulty. After dropping out of school following a nervous breakdown, I was issued by the council a home tutor for one hour a week. She came Friday from 11 a.m. until 12 p.m. When she queried if I had a book I could read, I told her my reading skill was bad, so I grabbed the same book I was told I couldn't understand at school. It was 'The Call of the Wild' by Jack London. I read it out loud and then she explained exactly what I had read as I listened carefully to her. The one book that did effect me emotionally was The Diary of Anne Frank. I was in tears by the end.

I eventually realised it wasn't about reading the right words but also learning about commas and full stops, when a sentence begins and ends. All this helped the flow of reading and the understanding of vocabulary.

Reading has now become a part of my enjoyment and I am glad of this. I love getting to know characters and being involved in their problems and lives. It's fun to think about them instead of my problems for a while as I generally worry about many. Although, reading out to a large audience is still a big issue. I don't think I'll ever overcome that one.


Anyway, thanks for reading my piece of writing. 

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