Pumping My Stone Heart

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Christian Writers
I had gone through one of the scariest times of my life as a husband when my wife found an old high school friend whom I was immediately threatened by. He was military and much stronger than me and they talked non-stop. It opened my eyes to where I had failed as a husband and what I could change. We recovered, this is my perspective.

Submitted: August 13, 2016

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Submitted: August 13, 2016

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I inhale slowly,

This thin and anxious air...

Strange and foreign emotions bombard me,

In my soul I admit it is fair...

 

I exhale swiftly,

Scared you will open that door...

Examining the grief and pain,

That I know you have never seen before...

 

I look up reluctantly,

Recognizing my new battle...

I thought it was between the Lord and I,

All of a sudden I notice fresh collateral...

 

I stare down willingly,

I know she deserves better than this...

My biggest fears haunt me nightly,

That she might fade from me into the abyss...

 

I close my eyes sparingly,

Afraid of what awaits me in my nightmare...

His arms embracing hers,

While mine hold nothing but thick air...

 

I fold my hands unknowingly,

For my hope relies on God alone...

His distant relationship is hard to bare,

I lead into my destruction all on my own...

 

I clinch my fists angrily,

This all could have been avoided...

My sin will not leave me be,

Only the Father knows what this boy did...

 

Tears fill my cheeks briefly,

Remembering my hardened heart...

Not choosing to love her was my mistake,

And I'm afraid it will rip us apart...

 

My heart beats heavily,

I see her face glow without me...

I envy his affect on her,

The way he sets her heart free...

 

My hands shake uncontrollably,

What have I traded her for?

I took advantage of her affection,

Now I want her and nothing more...

 

My lips tremble softly,

Kissing herbrings me fear...

What if my love is no longer sufficient?

Her future with me is no longer clear...

 

My knees shake violently,

Remembering my betrayal of us...

Such a heartless, lustful dog,

Turning from my old ways is a must...

 

My mind screams silently,

This situation is changing my ways...

Now I am totally lost,

Like I am in a misty haze...

 

My stomach aches desperately,

I no longer desire sin...

My sight is solely on her,

I am learning to love again...

 

My chest turns...finally,

Is this where we start?

If God has done one thing for me,

It is him Pumping My Stone Heart...

 

 


© Copyright 2017 Lee Gaesswitz. All rights reserved.

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