sadness and despair

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 16, 2016

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Submitted: August 16, 2016

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Sadness and Despair

My life has been sad really. Every time I wake from bed, I remember what is going on with my life and I instantly frown because I failed in everything in my life, I can not help my family in any way and I am have no one.

 

I always hear a saying that says "If you try your hardest you will succeed", but to me that does not work at all. Everything that I worked hard for ended in failure. I studied really hard, but I still failed, I prepared for a presentation really well, but I still failed. I know that no everything in life works out your way, but nothing in life worked out my way, nothing at all. After all these experiences, I only gained one thing and that is despair. Hope is fake, hope will not help you at all. Hope will give you the power to stand up and try, but the result is that you will fail again and again and again, that is what hope is. Ever since 7th grade until my graduation from high school despair always was and still is in my heart, no matter what I try it will not go, and when I realized that I learned that I only have to live with it forever.

 

Do you know that feeling when you want to help, but you can not, that is exactly how I feel every time I look at my family. I hate my father so much, and that is because he always makes my mom(the most precious person to me in the whole world) angry, miserable and sad. He always says he is going to do something today, but he never does it, for example, One time he said he is going to pay the bills of the house, but he never did. He came to home one time and said "pack your stuff quick, we are leaving this house", me and my family were shocked and asked him what is going on, he said something about the owner of the building disrespecting him or something like that, then my mom talked to the owner and asked him why are you kicking us out, then the owner said "Your husband has not been paying the bills, and he keeps giving me empty check". We asked my father if he money, then he said that he has money, but he didn’t want to pay the owner for some reason that I do not know. One time he borrowed from his brother 27,000$ to pay the bills for the new house, but instead he used it for something other than the house, and I do not know what he used for. Everything that is happening to my mom from depression to sadness is because of that bastard. I want to help my family, but I can not, because I have no money to help them( I am going to be a freshman this year btw). I feel really sad when I see my mom cry, looking at her makes me want to kill that bastard! The only thing that I learned from him is that you should always lie, tell people you can help them with something, when you can not which ends up wasting that person's time, never admit that you have a problem when you obviously have and make everyone in your life miserable for fun.

 

In conclusion, sadness and despair are the only emotions that helped me in life. Despair helped me realize that hope is useless and will not help you. Sadness taught me that happiness is just an illusion, happiness might stay for a while, but sadness stays forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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