Light of Darkness

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Mystery and Crime  |  House: Booksie Classic
What happens when the unknown takes grip of the mind?
Where is the line between reality and the things beyond?
Are we but victims of our subconscience?

Submitted: August 17, 2016

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Submitted: August 17, 2016

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Disconnected and out of touch, as if something important and vital is missing. I cannot pin down what made me so devoid of all emotions, maybe I felt too much so I had to develop a way to keep my bearings and not run amuck or I just simply lack the ability to harness deep emotions. Regardless of the how and why the result stays the same, I simply function live my life, go to work, eat, sleep and engage in meaningless conversations just to stay in line. And as the years went by I grew more bitter, cynical, pragmatic nothing but a cold rational bio mechanical entity swaying through this reality until my engines shut down and I succumb to the unavoidable end we all face. I always loathed the surrounding people indulging in all these useless rituals and conformities, celebrating all their meaningless lives with hollow words and deeds, yet at the same time envied them for their simplicity as if nothing is to question nor fathom just being what they are. And in that fray of the mundane and profound I simply flowed further and further down the stream of life and no matter what I did this abandoned empty feeling was tearing inside. So I was spiraling down into madness, at first I thought it was just the lack of sleep but with each passing day it became more evident. Voices were echoing everywhere I went, shadows moving and lurking in the corner of my eye, faces seemed twisted and disfigured. It didn't take long until I started to completely deprive myself of external stimuli, but the most disturbing fact was that I felt clear in my Head, thoughts and ideas were forming like structures in front of my inner eye, but still these voices what do they mean? I tried to concentrate on them make out what they were saying but as soon as I heard them clear something deep inside me was blocking out the clarity, as if some sort of entity tried to deny me the truth. The Shadows seemed materializing in the absents of my awareness strafing by and mocking me, by every time I tried to fix my eyes on them they vanished into thin air, they must be fragments of my deteriorating mind, nothing else than a mirage of a fearful soul afraid of the unknown, yet I feel calm and centred and these voices still emerging from the depths of my inner core, getting louder by the minute like a train rushing by like, white static carving its nerve twisting noise into the caverns of my mind. After days and days of ill ridden sleep and solar deprivation my body falters, distilled water is the only thing my stomach keeps inside every attempt of eating results in imminent reflux, everything disgusts me no matter the taste or consistence as if my whole being rejects everything that once beard life. My muscles degrading slowly and my skin is turning Grey and decrepit and these voices what do they want? Why can't they just shut up and leave me alone, my hair is falling out and my nails too but still this clarity. What is happening to me? My nights are filled by terror as lucid hands tear on my wilted flesh and burning fiery eyes stare right into the core of my soul, an unsettling demonic face appears fiendishly grinning in the corner of my room, motionless and even in the flare of my torch it´s still there haunting me, burning its glare into my soul. Today or tonight it´s hard to say, I dared to take a look into the mirror blood drenched eyes were staring back at me, pale and torn up skin a grotesque figure I´ve become not even the mere shade of what once was myself still these Voices hissing, whispering frantically I try to scream from the top of my lungs for them to stop but not a hush escapes from my pipes, nothing, not even the slightest noise nothing but drops of blood. For how long have I been inside this room? Time has lost its meaning night, day, weeks, month nothing but a frail concept of yesteryears and still these voices nothing shuts them, nothing eases the deafening soundlessness of their words. My arms are too weak to move I tried to throw a glass at the abominable and malicious face that´s constantly staring at me grinning like it knows the truth behind this unholy ordeal, I feel fingers crawling under my skin as if they were trying to rip my skin open and laying bear the canals that bear my life´s source. Figures moving and twisting prancing like devilish specters waiting to prey on my very soul, and this godless Face floating motionless in the corner I can't take it no more I brake the glass with the last of my might, take a shard and gouge out my eyes, the pain is great and I feel my conscience slipping away but the relief of not seeing this unholy grimace any longer dampens the grief and loss of sight. I attend to the wounds before I fade, the sole candle lit on the side of my bed is the only thing I can lift with the remaining strength I have, so I burn out my eye sockets and with the Pain this brings I fade into unconsciousness. I rested for a while but am brought back to conscience by the hissing of the voices, too many to count. They seem to have gotten louder, unbearable now like a storm rushing through my ears, why won’t they release me from their hellish scheme? I still feel the presence of the Face´s burning stare no matter where I turn to, Tumbling through the room I feel the entities passing me by pulling at my clothes, shoving my weak shell about and taunting my new born blindness, unable to avoid their malevolent demeanor. My legs are failing me now and then but I manage to get to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water, getting it down hurts.


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