If You're Fond of Sand Dunes

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic
A somewhat troubled British couple move to Provincetown, MA., to take over a bed and breakfast in an effort a overcome a recent tragedy. The town has a profound effect on what will become of their lives.

Submitted: August 18, 2016

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Submitted: August 18, 2016

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SOUND: Blossom Dearie's recording of "Saving My Feeling for You"

EXT:  Aerial view of Cape Cod Bay over the wing of a small commuter plane during a shifting fog.  Shots of opposite windows reveal the Lloyds, a good looking couple, Dusty and Bill, both in their late forties.  

INT:  Plane.  A crated English Bulldog is tucked safely in the rear.  The Lloyds are the only passengers.  The pilot is preparing to land.

EXT: Unobstructed aerial views of Provincetown, MA., on a grey April day.

INT:  Plane.  Dusty is searching through a large purse.  When she comes across a photo of a woman in her early twenties she stops, then quickly conceals it among the bag's contents.  A side glance at her husband still looking out the window relieves her momentary tension.

EXT:  The plane lands.

EXT:  Through the glass doors just beyond the main entrance to the small terminal.  Bill and Dusty, with the dog on lead, are entering the opposite side of the building.  He carries the crate and a large suitcase; she has the dog and her purse.  Six waiting passengers are focused on the dog.  A female ticket agent is holding up a set of keys, which Dusty accepts.  The Lloyds head directly toward the main entrance, exit, then cross to a new van on the parking lot.

EXT: Commercial Street.  A lone elderly woman with a lumbering hound at her side strolls a short distance away from an upscale real estate office.  She watches as the van pulls into the driveway and the Lloyds get out and enter the building with the dog.  Two men in their mid-sixties are approaching briskly from the opposite direction.  The woman speaks warmly as they near.

WOMAN
When are you leaving?

MAN #1
Right after we make settlement.

WOMAN
Do you think that English couple
know what they're getting into?

MAN #2
Certainly not.
WOMAN
We'll miss you.

They smile, she continues on.  The men start toward the real estate office.

EXT:  The van  approaches the Tremont Street driveway of The Willows. A camera pan reveals a wide lawn surrounded on three sides by a house on the left, a two story building in the middle, and three cottages on the right.  Beyond the two story building are two more buildings, each containing two units.  Not far from the rear of the house is a small two story cottage.  The van appears at the rear parking lot and stops.  Bill releases the dog to run about lifting his leg.

INT:  Van.  Dusty is gathering up her purse and recent purchases: a box containing a new tea kettle and a bag of staples.

EXT:  They glance around tentatively at the property as they approach the house slowly.  She looks chilled, apprehensive.  He nods reassuringly, then shifts his head toward a cord of wood stacked near the stone barbecue pit on the patio.

DUSTY
I'll do the fire.  You do the
tea.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's song ends.

Dusty removes a large ring of labeled keys from her pocket and starts looking for the key to the house.  She stops when she sees the dog, a few feet away, riveted on something nearby.  She follows the dog's gaze.  Standing perfectly still on the middle of the lawn, staring at the dog, is a person, about seventy, in baggy red pants, a black cape, floppy wide brim hat, and leaning on a cane.  The dog returns the stare.

DUSTY:
May I help you?

PERSON
I assume the beast will remain
on the grounds at all times.

BILL
We - ah - only just arrived.
PERSON
I live in that house across the
road.  If you have any questions,
don't hesitate to ask.

DUSTY
This is my husband...

PERSON
Bill.  Yes.  You're Dusty.  The
Lloyds.  It's the beast I don't
know.

BILL
Oh, that's Butch.

PERSON
Butch?  Hmmm.  Well, we do have
a leash law here in Provincetown.
It usually applies only to animals.
Butch.

DUSTY
And you are?

PERSON
Fluke.  They call me Fluke.  Nice
meeting you, Butch.

Fluke turns and walks off slowly.

DUSTY
Was that a man or...

BILL
How the hell would I know?

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's "I Have a Feeling I've Been Here Before"

INT:  One of the cottages as Bill opens the shutters on a bright spring day.  
 
EXT:  A series of shots of the Lloyds going in and out of buildings, opening doors and windows, carrying cleaning utensils.  Butch is snoring on the patio.  Dusty wears a pair of Bill's shorts and one of his shirts.  Bill raises the garage door of the two story building.  Dusty is inside sweeping.  The garage serves as both a laundry and storage room for linens.  Four boxes are stacked just outside the door.  Bill starts placing them on the upper shelves.

DUSTY
Of all the trunks they had to
misplace.  My work clothes.  Look at me.

BILL
There's no one here to see you.
Yet.

She notices where he puts the boxes.

DUSTY
Don't you want those in the
house?

BILL
They can stay here.

She looks regretful, as she glances around for something she needs.

INT:  The small office adjacent to the patio.  Dusty enters and searches for a dust pan and brush, which she finds protruding from under boxes stacked on the desk.  When she removes the utensils the boxes tumble to the floor. As she retrieves them she notices a large desk calendar with information inked in on a few dates.  She looks at it intently.

EXT:  Lawn.  Bill is about to carry a vacuum cleaner into one of the cottages.  Dusty approaches with the desk calendar.

DUSTY
You must see this.

She holds up the calendar and flips the pages.

BILL
Yes, they said we had bookings.

DUSTY
Are we to take this seriously?

BILL
What?

DUSTY
Memorial Day weekend, sixteen
guests in pairs who call themselves
Spring Quartets.  No names, just
Spring Quartets.  What's that?

BILL
I don't know.

DUSTY
Fourth of July weekend, ten bookings,
Dykes on Bikes.  Still no names.
Just Dykes on Bikes.

BILL
A lesbian bicycle club.


DUSTY
And then this August couple.  The
entire month.  Mr. and Mrs. Chow
Chow, of Snatcheroo, Wisconsin.

BILL
I would definitely question that.

INT:  Office.  Dusty is on the phone.

DUSTY
Samuel, Dusty.  Yes.  Just fine.
You?  Good.  Dear, I was checking
the calendar you left on the desk.
Well, yes, yes I was....They're
all real?  Including Mr. and Mrs.
Chow Chow of Snatcheroo, Wisconsin?
I will.  Thank you.

She hangs up, then turns to see Fluke standing just outside the door holding a plate.  A big straw hat almost conceals the face; the clothes are loose and colorful.

FLUKE
Oh, the Chow Chows.  Straight but
interesting.  Quiche?

Dusty smiles weakly.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's song continues.

EXT:  Commercial Street.  Dusty, still in Bill's clothes, is walking east.  A smattering of elderly tourists stroll pass. Some specialty shops are open, a few remain boarded.  Most of the business owners are getting their places ready for the season.  A few greet Dusty as she goes by.  She responds shyly.  A young man on a ladder is painting the trim on the front of a store.  He looks down, sees Dusty approaching, and smiles.

PAINTER
Dusty Lloyd?

She is slightly taken aback.

DUSTY
Yes, I...

PAINTER
Good luck with The Willows.

DUSTY
Oh, thank you.  Thank you very much.

She continues on, then smiles appreciatively as she glances back to see the Painter smiling at her.  

INT:  Clothing store - freshly painted with racks and tables waiting to be arranged.  Boxes of stock are still unpacked, but some clothing has been laid out on tables.  The front doors are open.  Renei, pretty, in her early twenties, is moving stock about quickly, a cordless phone tucked under her chin.

RENEI
Mom, for God's sake, I've got to
get this place together.  No, I
want to open as early as I can.

EXT:  Clothing store.  Dusty stops when she sees the clothing. She approaches slowly.

INT:  Clothing store.  Renei watches as Dusty walks toward the door and stops at the threshold.

RENEI
There're always people on this street.
Someone just walked in.  It's the
woman who bought The Willows with her
husband.  Floyd.  Talk to you later.

DUSTY
It's Lloyd.

RENEI
Lloyd.  Floyd.  Who knows what they'll
be calling you in a few weeks.

DUSTY
The town's smaller than I thought.
RENEI
Smaller than you can possibly
imagine.

DUSTY
I have a bit of a problem.

RENEI
Yeah.  The airline lost your trunk
with all your work clothes in it.

DUSTY
Oh, Christ.

INT:  Kitchen of the house at The Willows, not yet completely in order.  Dusty, in jeans and a sweatshirt purchased at Renei's, is fixing a salad.  Bill sets the table and pours the wine.  
DUSTY
A native.  A real native.  Said her
family's been here forever.  Portuguese.
But she pronounced it 'Portagee.'  I
got the very definite impression that
'Portagee' was a slur.  I don't know
why, but I did.  So be sure to strike
'Portagee' from your vocabulary.

BILL
It was never in my vocabulary.

DUSTY
What really surprised me was that she
said growing up here was wonderful,
just wonderful.

BILL
That surprised you?

DUSTY
Wonderful until she got to high
school and joined the basketball
team.  When they went down the Cape
or to the islands to play other teams,
they were called dykes and faggots.
Just because they were from Provincetown.

BILL
Kids can be very cruel.
DUSTY
It was the parents of the kids on the
other teams who did that.  Imagine.

BILL
I'd rather not.

DUSTY
But she still loves it here.  So
does her boyfriend.  Captains one
of the Dolphin cruises.

She takes two pot holders and removes the quiche from the over and places it on a tray on the table.

BILL
I thought the Cape had a reputation
for acceptance.

He distributes the salad.

DUSTY
I thought so, too.

She sits and cuts two slices of quiche.

BILL
You should have asked her about
Fluke.  What it is.

DUSTY
I did.

BILL
Well?

DUSTY
She said, 'Oh, you're going to have
to figure that one out for yourself.'

BILL
I'm beginning to think the people
here enjoy toying with newcomers.

She has taken a bite of the quiche.  Her eyes widen.  She swallows.

DUSTY
Oh, I'm sure Fluke's a man.  And I'm
sure Fluke's gay.
BILL
Sure?

DUSTY
Oh, yes.  This is an utterly
fabulous quiche.

EXT:  The lawn, mid-morning, sunny, a few weeks later.  Three tables with umbrellas and chairs are at the rear of the lawn.  Six beach chairs are set in pairs.  Three men are at a table chatting with two women at the next table.  All are having a continental breakfast.  Flowers have been placed in the beds along the house, rear driveway, and sections of the lawn.  Dusty exits the kitchen with a tray of muffins and goes to the patio, now set with cushioned wicker and matching end tables.  A large table holds an attractive arrangement of a buffet breakfast.  Butch is resting nearby in his own bed.  Dusty stacks the muffins under a cake dish.  Butch opens his eyes quickly and is handed a dog biscuit.  Fluke's voice is heard.

FLUKE
Now, have you a muffin for me,
Butch?

DUSTY
The banana is best today.

Fluke, in rainbow colored hat and men's khakis, notices a stack of Blossom Dearie cassettes on the table next to a small player.

FLUKE
'Banana' is fine.

DUSTY
Coffee?

Fluke nods then sits in a chair next to Butch.

FLUKE
I see you found the Chow Chow's tapes.

DUSTY
The Chow Chow's?

FLUKE
They're crazy about Dearie.  Ever
since they heard her here in the
fifties, when the entertainment
was good.

Dusty pours herself a cup of coffee and sits.

DUSTY
She's been around that long?

FLUKE
Yes.  The Chow Chows always wanted
The Willow's owners to have her on
hand when they came.

DUSTY
I take it the Chow Chows have been
regulars.

FLUKE
The steadiest.  How are the bookings
going?

DUSTY
Very well.

FLUKE
Any reluctance?

DUSTY
Reluctance?

FLUKE
Anyone refusing to stay because
you're straight.

DUSTY
No, ah, not yet.  There was a man
who seemed surprised to hear my
voice.  When I told him my husband
and I bought the place, the line
went dead.  I thought we had been
disconnected.

FLUKE
You were.

DUSTY
Well.

The phone rings in the office adjacent to the patio.  Dusty starts to rise but stops when she sees Bill through the window.
BILL
I'll get it.  The Willows.  Hey,
old man, how are you?  Dusty, it's
your father.

DUSTY
I hope he doesn't start spending
all his money on international calls.

BILL
Where?  Over the dunes?  Over what
dunes?  My God, Charles, why didn't
you tell us?

Dusty rises quickly and turns toward the window.

DUSTY
Daddy's at the airport?!

BILL
All right.  (hangs up)  Oh, yes.

Dusty turns to Fluke.

DUSTY
Daddy's not ready for Provincetown.

FLUKE
Does Mommy know?

DUSTY
Mother died...

BILL
I'll get...

DUSTY
No, Ill go...a few years ago.  Oh,
Bill, why couldn't he wait?

BILL
...go get him.

FLUKE
Want me to go with you?

DUSTY
Oh, no - eh, no.  Thank you.

EXT:  Provincetown Airport.  Dusty pulls up quickly and remains in the van.  Charles is in his early seventies.

DUSTY
Why didn't you tell us you were
coming?

CHARLES
You would have stopped me.

DUSTY
Get in.

CHARLES
I'd appreciate some help with my
luggage.

She gets out of the van and walks quickly around to the passenger's side.  She stops when she sees five large suitcases.  Her look of disapproval is met by his determined smile.

INT: Van.  Dusty and Charles are on a road headed back to The Willows.
 
CHARLES
How bright the light is here.
Like Greece.

DUSTY
Exactly.  Daddy, they're a few
things I must tell you about
Provincetown.

CHARLES
I know all about Provincetown. I
read about Provincetown.  Provincetown
is the world capitol of the debauch.

DUSTY
Oh, good Lord.

EXT:  The van approaches the rear driveway of The Willows.  Three cars are ahead of them pulling onto the parking lot where three other cars are already parked.  Dusty cranes to see who the new arrivals are.  A series of shots reveal eight couples, men with women, ranging in age from mid-thirties to early fifties, all average looking.  They are removing their luggage from their cars, smiling and chatting.  Bill is leaving the office with keys to the cottages.  Dusty pulls in slowly and parks in the usual spot.

BILL
Welcome to The Willows, Charles.

Dusty leans out the window and speaks softly.

DUSTY
The Spring Quartets?

Bill nods.  Dusty turns to her father and smiles, but when she gets out of the van her expression is quizzical.  Charles gets out of the van slowly, impressed with the look of the place.  He catches sight of Fluke at the opposite end of the lawn and tries to conceal his surprise.  Fluke nods
to him, and he returns the gesture uncomfortably.  One of the women with the Spring Quartets calls out and waves.

WOMAN
Hey, Fluke!

Fluke waves back.  Charles turns away, then mouths 'Fluke' in disbelief.

INT:  Kitchen of the house, now in order, evening, the same day.  Bill, Dusty, and Charles are seated around the table having after dinner coffee.  Butch is nearby.

BILL
We really had no idea who or what
the Spring Quartets were.

CHARLES
Well, frankly I'm surprised.  They're
obviously heterosexual.

DUSTY
I suppose you expected a bunch of
poofs sitting around in drag
eating bon bons.


CHARLES
Drag?  No.  I expected to see
everyone naked.  Including the
two of you.

BILL
Sorry to disappoint you, Charles.

Charles gives them a look that says he is not taking the conversation seriously.

CHARLES
Come, Butch, it's twilight time.

Bill and Dusty exchange looks of resignation, as Charles hooks a leash to Butch and leaves.

BILL
I'm glad the Spring Quartets are...

DUSTY
Straight?

BILL
If he had to arrive today...well,
they are...average looking.

DUSTY
And who hasn't been, so far?

BILL
Fluke.  Not a guest but...

DUSTY
Look, Daddy's going to walk down
Commercial Street sooner or later.
He's a big boy.

Charles appears at the kitchen window.

CHARLES
Perhaps you better come out here.

Bill and Dusty exit by the kitchen door.  They pass the window, heading toward the lawn.

EXT:  Lawn at twilight.  Charles and Butch are walking down the patio followed by Bill and Dusty.  They walk tentatively along the path to Tremont Street.  When they reach the edge of the property, slightly elevated from the street, the camera pans slowly and reveals a crowd of about fifty people.  Some are familiar: Renei, now being held by her  friend Joe, a hulk of a man, the painter with a male friend, the lady with the hound, the shopkeepers seen earlier, all mingling with other straight and gay couples and a few singles, most of them smiling or nodding at the bewildered trio on the lawn.  Dusty and Bill smile weakly.  Charles is struck by the diversity before him.  Butch is tilting his head.  A large floppy white hat appears in the crowd.  Fluke, in diaphanous white, moves to front and center, smiles, then bows.  The rich male harmonies of a barber shop quartet singing the first line of "Old Cape Cod", followed by another male quartet singing the next line come from the rear of the property.  The crowd cheers and applauds.  Bill, Dusty, and Charles turn.  Approaching on the lawn are two quartets, singing and swaying in full barber shop drag: big skirts, big hair, big mustaches.  The harmonies are flawless, the simple movements gracefully executed.  Their wives, all casually dressed, follow smiling.  The crowd continues to applaud, as the quartets sway down to Tremont and head for Commercial Street.  Everyone trails after them.  Fluke approaches the stunned trio on the lawn.

FLUKE
Welcome to Provincetown.  The
season has now officially begun.

Fluke follows the crowd.  Dusty and Bill are waiting for Charles to react.  He looks rigid.

CHARLES
They sing beautifully.  Come,
Butch.

Charles and Butch walk down the steps and head toward the crowd.  Bill and Dusty shrug then follow.

EXT:  Farther down Commercial Street - moments later.  While the Spring Quartets sing and sway down the center of the street, pedestrians line the sidewalk, shopkeepers are at their doors, most of them cheering and clapping.  A series of shots reveal the diversity that populates the town: families, the elderly, gay and straight couples, all smiling, a few dancing.  Dusty and Bill make their way toward Renei and Joe.  Dusty taps Renei on the shoulder.

DUSTY
Did you deliberately keep this
from us?

RENEI
Sure.  We all did.

A little old lady, a tall fat man in theatrical drag, and Teddy, a very handsome but unkempt man in his early twenties, are standing outside a club as the Spring Quartets approach.

DRAG
Every year this bunch gives me
a terminal case of diabetes.

OLD LADY
I already got diabetes.

TEDDY
I didn't think I'd live to see
them this year.

Charles, with Butch, is on the opposite side of the street,staring at the drag and trying to comprehend the whole scene.  Fluke approaches.

FLUKE
Where in England would you get
to see this?

CHARLES
Religious festivals.

Fluke smiles and walks on. The camera continues to cover the scene.  As the song draws to a conclusion the street lights come on, twilight fades, and a shot taken from the bay toward MacMillan Wharf reveals the boats bobbing near the shore line - and how small the town is.

EXT:  Reverse angle of wharf, directly into the sunrise.

EXT:  A stretch of beach in the west end, a moment later.  Charles, the lone stroller, turns and watches the sun rise into a cloudless sky.  He sighs then continues walking, occasionally stopping to look at the houses that line the beach.  In the distance a young man is sitting on the beach, his elbows resting on his knees.  As Charles nears a sudden flash from an object in the man's hand causes Charles to blink.  His pace slackens, and he recognizes Teddy, still wearing the same clothes, looking even more disheveled.  Charles is about to utter a greeting, but the appearance of a trickle of blood on Teddy's left wrist causes him to turn his head away and quicken his pace.  He passes without looking at him, but in moments what he has just seen begins to register.  The gentle sound of the water is suddenly broken by the cry of a gull.  Charles turns and is surprised to see Fluke hurrying toward Teddy.  Charles heads toward them, quickening his steps.

FLUKE
Don't touch him!  Don't touch him!

Teddy falls back, laughing nervously.


TEDDY
No, no, don't touch me!  Naughty,
naughty!

Charles fumbles for a handkerchief in his back pocket.  Fluke is putting on a pair of latex gloves.

FLUKE
Wait!

TEDDY
Fuck off!

CHARLES
Oh, dear.

FLUKE
Put these on.

Fluke hands Charles latex gloves.

CHARLES
Why would...oh, dear.

He starts putting on the gloves.  Fluke snatches the handkerchief from him, kneels and grabs Teddy's bleeding hand.  A breeze causes Fluke's hat to flap.

TEDDY
Oh, Flukey, Flukey, it's you.

FLUKE
Shut up.  Hold him.

Teddy starts to struggle when Charles grabs the hand holding the piece of glass.  The breeze increases.

CHARLES
Let go of that.

TEDDY
Scare the shit out of you?!

CHARLES
Yes!

FLUKE
It's not deep.

TEDDY
It would be if you left me...

A sudden gust of wind blows the hat off, revealing Fluke's completely bald head.  Charles stares blankly.  Fluke returns the stare.

TEDDY
This is the worst hair day I've ever...

Teddy drops the piece of glass then faints.

INT:  Supermarket.  Dusty and Renei are pushing their carts down an aisle, checking their lists, stopping to pick up items.

RENEI
Why am I doing this?  I have
no time to cook.

DUSTY
Are you open seven days a week?

RENEI
Six.  But after the Fourth, seven.
Oh, yeah, right through to Labor
Day.

DUSTY
When does Joe have off?

RENEI
Mondays, usually.

DUSTY
Some Sunday night, you and Joe
come for a late supper.

RENEI
With all the work you have to
do?  Won't that...

DUSTY
No, it won't.  We would enjoy it.
People come and go so quickly here.

RENEI
This is a resort.

DUSTY
We need a few steady faces, Renei.

RENEI
Your Dad's here.

DUSTY
Oh, Daddy's busy researching the
town's history.  He was shocked
to learn the Pilgrims landed
here first.

RENEI
And look at us now.

DUSTY
He also found out The Willows
used to be a chicken farm.

RENEI
A chicken farm?  I never knew
that.

DUSTY
See.  Come for dinner.  We'll
give you food and a history
lesson.

EXT:  Patio - day.  Charles and Bill can be seen going from room to room as they argue.  Dusty pulls into the parking lot and unloads two bags of groceries.

CHARLES
You said you intended to hire help.

BILL
Healthy help.

CHARLES
They said he would recover.

BILL
There is an AIDS hospice.

CHARLES
Oh, I hear they  don't like him
very much.  And that...

Dusty carries the bags into the kitchen.

INT:  Kitchen.

BILL
What do you mean they don't
like him?  Is that a requirement
to get in?  You can have AIDS
but you must be nice about it?

CHARLES
He's definitely not nice.


DUSTY
Who's definitely not nice?

Bill and Charles enter the kitchen.

BILL
Your father and Fluke aborted
a suicide on the beach this
morning.

DUSTY
Oh?

CHARLES
He has no money, no place to go.

BILL
And AIDS.

DUSTY
Oh, what's gotten into you, Daddy?

CHARLES
The weather.

EXT:  The beach under a full moon.  Dusty and Bill are strolling with their arms around each other.

DUSTY
Nothing's definite.  They'll
bring him around.  We'll meet
him.

BILL
Dusty, it's not the disease.

DUSTY
I know that.

BILL
I don't have your - courage.

DUSTY
No.  But I have yours.

He stops and faces her.

BILL
How do you always know exactly
what to say to me?

She looks at him warmly and shakes her head.  He kisses her gently, looks at her, then kisses her passionately.

DUSTY
Oh, Bill.

He groans as he gently forces her down on the sand.

DUSTY
Bill?

BILL
Yes?

DUSTY
Bill, how can we...

BILL
"If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape..."

DUSTY
It's a little after ten.  We're
on the beach.  No dunes.

BILL
No people.

He positions himself on top of her.  She moves her head quickly to see who might be on the beach.

DUSTY
No people...oh, Bill.

EXT:  Patio - morning, sunny.  Butch is asleep in his bed.  Dusty is wiping off the serving table. Bill is at the window of the office staring at her.  She glances at him and smiles.  He puckers his lips.  She returns the gesture.  Charles is seen weeding a flower bed near the parking lot.  He looks up, notices someone approaching on the lawn, then starts walking slowly toward the house.  Fluke and Teddy are on the path leading to the patio.  Except for the bandage on his wrist and a hostile expression, Teddy looks a lot better.

CHARLES
Good morning, Fluke.  Teddy, how
are you?

TEDDY
Still here.

Bill leaves the office, his hands in his pockets.

CHARLES
Teddy, I'd like you to meet my
daughter Dusty and her husband...

Bill extends a hand.

TEDDY
Her husband?  (to Fluke)  You
didn't tell me I'd be working
for straights.  Breeders.

DUSTY
Breeders?!

BILL
You little son of a bitch.

CHARLES
I told you he wasn't nice.

TEDDY
What's the point?

FLUKE
Shut up, Teddy.  

DUSTY
Breeders!

BILL
(to Dusty)
You said nothing's definite.

TEDDY
And it ain't forever.

CHARLES
(to Teddy)
If you would just relax for...

TEDDY
Why, why the hell do I have to
relax?  That's what you're
supposed to do, you're so damn
old.

FLUKE
Something you'll probably not
get to be.  Eh, Teddy?

Teddy suddenly looks vulnerable, exhausted.  He goes to a chair, leans on it, then sits.  All four are looking at him with concern.
TEDDY
For Christ's sake, could I have
a cup of coffee?

BILL
I'll get it.

DUSTY
(to Teddy)
Black or white?

TEDDY
I'm not a racist.  I just don't
like straight people.

The four suppress their smiles.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's "I'm Shadowing You"

EXT:  The lawn - grey, overcast, early morning.  Charles and Butch are on the path headed toward Tremont Street.  At the steps leading down to the street he notices Fluke carrying a basket and walking toward town.  He checks his watch then looks up to find Fluke gone.  He heads in the same direction.  When he reaches a cross street he looks to his left and sees Fluke snipping flowers from a garden.  He is mildly shocked and steps back.  When he looks again Fluke is gone.  He takes the same direction.  When Butch stops to lift his leg, Fluke appears at another garden and snips more flowers, without appearing to notice Charles or the dog.  Charles follows at a discrete distance, as Fluke appears and reappears at the gardens until the basket is full.  Fluke turns on to Bradford Street, but when Charles reaches the corner he finds it deserted.  He looks across the street and reads the sign on the front of a slightly dilapidated house: AIDS Hospice.  The shades on the windows are drawn.  The front door opens slowly.  Fluke looks directly at him.  He crosses the street and enters the building with Butch.

INT:  The foyer and the adjacent room are makeshift but orderly.  The place is in need of repairs.  A man and woman, both in wheelchairs, are at a table arranging Fluke's flowers in vases.  They smile at Charles then chuckle when they notice Butch.  Charles reaches down and unleashes the dog, who bounces over to be petted.  The only light in the room comes from a window that does not face the street.

INT:  Dining room of The Willow's house - late evening.  Dusty, Bill, Renei, and Joe are seated around the table relaxing over coffee and cordials.
RENEI
Oh, I'm sure he did that to
himself.

JOE
When he learned he was positive.

RENEI
Started drinking too much.

BILL
He was wasted when he got here.
But he's a good worker.

DUSTY
If a bit of a bitch.

RENEI
Yeah?

DUSTY
Whenever he cleans a guest's room
for the first time, he'll say
things like, 'Wig glue - cups for
dentures - S & M toys.'  Of course
we all notice such things, but
he's the only one who talks about
them.

RENEI
I'll tell you, there's not a
straight women in town who can't
remember the day he arrived.

JOE
They called him sweet cheeks.

BILL
Why?

RENEI
Have you looked at his ass?

BILL
Not recently.

RENEI
He also had a sweet disposition.

DUSTY
Teddy?

RENEI
Being HIV positive just about
ruined his looks and his disposition.

JOE
Since he's been working for you
he's looking better than he's
looked in a couple of years.
He was how old when he got here?
RENEI
About seventeen.  I heard he ran
away from a really abusive family.
Me and my girlfriends  would go
down to the beach just to look at
him.

JOE
And the guys would go down to look
at them looking at him.  Remember
Frank Campbell?

RENEI
That ox from Truro.

JOE
One day we were at the beach
watching the girls ogling Teddy,
and Frank said, 'Ya know, we
should be real glad Teddy's
gay, 'cause if he was straight
every straight man on Cape Cod
would be in deep shit.'

The four of them laugh, but Dusty also looks touched by the story.

EXT:  The lawn - mid-morning, sunny.  The guests, three gay couples, two lesbian couples, two straight couples, and three unattached men under the arbor are having the usual morning fare.  Teddy leaves the laundry room carrying a bucket with cleaning utensils,fresh linens, and towels.  He goes up the steps leading to the rooms above the laundry.  The men under the arbor are whispering about him.  A man sitting at one of the tables watches him go up the steps.  His companion glances up from his newspaper.

FIRST MAN
Isn't that...

SECOND MAN
Yes, it is.

FIRST MAN
Poor kid.

The Second Man nods regretfully.  The men under the arbor are still whispering.  Two young women, also carrying buckets and linens, emerge from the laundry and head toward the other cottages, greeting the guests as they pass.  One of the men sitting under the arbor rises and says too audibly:


THIRD MAN
I don't think so!

Another man extends a hand to stop him but he heads directly for the steps.  The other guests are aware of his aggressive gait.

INT:  Laundry room.  Bill is folding linens at a large table.  He stops at the sound of the Third Man stomping up the steps.

EXT:  Dusty, working on a flower bed that lines the parking lot, glances over her shoulder at the sound.  The Second Man lowers his paper and purses his lips.

INT:  Laundry room.  Bill has resumed folding, but stops when he hears Teddy's voice.

TEDDY
What difference does it make?!

THIRD MAN
I would prefer it!

Bill starts to leave the laundry.  The exchange above continues but not audibly.

EXT:  Bill moves slowly to the foot of the steps, as Dusty approaches.  The guest on the lawn are still, attentive.

THIRD MAN
I'm the guest.  Remember?

TEDDY
And I'm one of the people who
cleans the rooms.

THIRD MAN
Not this room.

Bill takes the steps two at a time.  Dusty follows quickly.

TEDDY
You're an asshole!

THIRD MAN
Get out!  Just get...

INT:  Room.  Bill is at the door, Dusty behind him.

BILL
You have a problem with our
cleaning methods?

TEDDY
He says he...

BILL
Wait.  I want to hear what he
has to say.

Bill and Dusty have entered the room.

DUSTY
I can't wait to hear what he
has to say.

THIRD MAN
I would prefer that one of the
women clean this place.

BILL
Why?

THIRD MAN
Are you aware of this boy's
condition?

TEDDY
You shit!

BILL
Condition?

DUSTY
He looks like a perfectly normal
twentieth century lad to me.

THIRD MAN
I would prefer...
BILL
What you would prefer is not what
you're going to get.  What you're
going to get is the-fuck-out-of-
here.

Teddy's surprise is evident.  Dusty is composed.  She starts picking up the man's belongings and tossing them into a pile on the bed.

THIRD MAN
I could sue...

DUSTY
Sue us?  You could sue us?  You
do that.  We don't have an
advertising budget yet, so the
publicity would do us good.  It
might do you some good, too.  If
I recall, you're a high school
principal in Philadelphia, the
City of Brotherly Love.

He snatches a sweater from her hand and starts removing clothes from the closet.

THIRD MAN
I knew it.  I knew it.  When I
heard that you people...

BILL & DUSTY
'You people?!'

THIRD MAN
...bought this place.

BILL
'You people.'

The Third Man carries a bundle of clothes to the door and starts down the steps.  Teddy is surprised to see him leave.

EXT:  Deck just outside the room.

THIRD MAN
I expect a refund.

BILL
You'll have a check before you
get your belongings in your car.
DUSTY
I'll write it now.

She starts down the steps, a look of concern crossing her face when she sees all the guests standing on the lawn.  As the Third Man reaches the bottom step and heads for his car the Second Man smiles and says sweetly:

SECOND MAN
Have a nice day.

The First Man looks up at Bill and Teddy, then starts applauding quietly.  The guest follow suit.  A look of relief appears on Dusty's face as she heads toward the office.

INT:  Laundry room - later that day.  Bill and Dusty are folding the last of the day's linens.

DUSTY
Well, I've never been applauded
for anything I've ever done.
Have you?

BILL
Once.  When I played a celery
stalk in a school play.

Teddy appears at the door.

TEDDY
Hey, 'you people.'

They both smile at the reference.

TEDDY
Thanks.

They nod.  He turns to go.

DUSTY
Teddy.  (pause)  Why do you -
eh - hate straight people,
'breeders'?

TEDDY
Well, I say that, but...my
parents were breeders!

BILL
That is often the case.

Teddy starts to chuckle.  The chuckle grows into a laugh, a genuine laugh, which is not lost on Bill or Dusty.

EXT:  The lawn, deserted in the rain.  Dusty locks the door to one of the cottages, turns and sees Charles and Fluke walking along Tremont Street under one umbrella.  She is mildly surprised.

INT:  Kitchen of the house - evening.  Dusty and Bill are preparing dinner.  Charles pokes his head in.

CHARLES
Won't be home for dinner, children.

Charles doesn't wait for the response Dusty doesn't get to utter.  Her look is quizzical.  Bill is oblivious, except to say casually:

BILL
He's certainly more relaxed than
I've ever seen him.

Her eyes widen slightly.

EXT:  Rear driveway - day.  Four Harley Davidsons pull onto the property quickly.  The female riders are paired, all in high leather and darkly helmeted.

INT:  Room over the laundry.  Teddy, looking healthier, is counting out four condoms into a ceramic plate on the bureau.  Dusty is next to him making last minute checks on the room.  The arrival of the motorcycles causes them to stop and look down on the parking lot.

TEDDY
Dykes on Bikes.  Again.

EXT:  Parking lot.  The bikers remove their helmets and gather their bags without exchanging a word.  Their faces are not visible.  Dusty and Teddy can be seen at the window.

INT:  Room over the laundry.

DUSTY
I thought they meant bicycles.

Teddy shakes his head.

TEDDY
I guess I can remove these
rubbers.

DUSTY
I suppose.  What would they
put them on?

TEDDY
Don't ask.

INT:  Office - a short time later.  Teddy is arranging some new information booklets on a table.  Dusty is handing a credit card and a receipt to a biker, whose face is seen briefly and only in profile.

DUSTY
Thank you.  You do know about
breakfast?

BIKER
We've been here before.  Thanks.

The biker leaves.

DUSTY
All New Yorkers.

TEDDY
I know.  Wait.

DUSTY
Two no shows.

A gentle tapping is heard.  Framed in the screen door is a tall, muscular, very handsome African American man in his mid-twenties.  He wears khakis and a loose fitting tank top.  The effect is immediately evident in Dusty's voice, which causes Teddy to turn toward the door.

DUSTY
Oh, may - I - help you?

TEDDY
(softly)
Holy shit.

HARRY
The sign says no vacancies, but
I thought maybe you had a
cancellation.

DUSTY
I did.  I do.
HARRY
I'll take it.

As Harry enters the office, Teddy knocks a stack of information booklets to the floor.  Dusty suspects it was deliberate.

DUSTY
Will that be for the weekend?

HARRY
Indefinitely.

Teddy controls his delight.  Harry glances at him, then does a slow double take.

DUSTY
If you would just fill this out,
please.

Harry sits at the desk and starts filling out the card.  Teddy rearranges the booklets slowly.

DUSTY
Will that be cash or charge?


HARRY
Charge.  Make it through to the
first of August.

DUSTY
Almost a whole month.

Stopping to remove a credit card from his wallet, Harry delivers the next line casually.

HARRY
Are you working here, Teddy?

Dusty and Teddy are surprised.

TEDDY
Yeah, and I live here...Do I
know you?

HARRY
I guess you don't remember.

TEDDY
How the hell could I have
forgotten you?

Dusty is mildly embarrassed, as she calculates the rental and makes out the receipt.

HARRY
Well, I haven't been in P-town
for six years.

TEDDY
Did you look like that six
years ago?

HARRY
No.

TEDDY
I didn't think so.

Harry stops writing and smiles at Teddy.

HARRY
Let's have dinner.  I'll refresh
your memory.

Teddy is boyishly uncomfortable.

TEDDY
Okay.

Harry rises and Dusty hands him his credit card, receipt and key.

DUSTY
It's number one.  Right across the lawn.

HARRY
Thank you.

Harry hesitates at the door, then turns.

HARRY
I'm glad to see you.

He picks up his bags and leaves.  They watch as he walks across the lawn.

TEDDY
You know, maybe there is a God.

DUSTY
And he just left this office.

EXT:  The patio at twilight.  Butch is gnawing a toy bone in his bed.  Bill is reading a newspaper.  Dusty enters from the office carrying a clipboard and pen.  She sits wearily, then exchanges smiles with her husband.  Teddy enters from the kitchen wearing slacks, sport shirt, and linen jacket.  He looks shy, vulnerable, but he also looks healthier.

BILL
Very nice.

Dusty nods.  Teddy smiles appreciatively.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's "You Taught Me Everything I Know"

Bill starts to return to his paper, but lowers it when someone on the other side of the lawn catches his eye.  The four couples who call themselves Dykes on Bikes are gathering to go out for the evening.  They move casually, smiling at one another, talking quietly.  All have two things in common: they are exquisitely dressed, without being over-dressed, and they are all stunningly beautiful.  A few of them wave to the group on the patio.  The three, transfixed by the almost eerie sight of so much beauty, smile back.  The women walk slowly down the lawn toward Tremont Street.

BILL
That's a sad sight.

DUSTY
Bill.

TEDDY
Why?

BILL
Look what it takes to get into that club: physical perfection.

DUSTY
Don't forget the Harleys and all that leather.

TEDDY
Who cares?  They look great.

Harry, in slacks and bulky sweater, is directly behind Teddy.

HARRY
So do you.

TEDDY
Hey.

HARRY
Hello.

Bill and Dusty nod.

HARRY
Lobster Pot okay?

TEDDY
Sure.  (to Dusty and Bill) Later.

DUSTY
Have a nice time.

Harry and Teddy disappear around the side of the house.

BILL
I feel as though I'm watching someone court my daughter.

Dusty looks pained.

BILL
I'm sorry.

DUSTY
It's all right.

Charles appears on the patio, his discomfort immediately apparent, but not to Bill or Dusty.

DUSTY
And what piece of history did you dig up today, Daddy?

Not really expecting an answer, Dusty shifts her attention to the clipboard.  Bill returns to his paper.  Charles obviously wants to talk but has no idea how to begin.  He takes a deep breath.

CHARLES
Well, dear children, the piece of history I dug up today is that - is that Fluke is all woman.

Neither Dusty nor Bill can look directly at him.
CHARLES
Always was, always will be.  No tits.  Mastectomies years ago.

He sighs deeply, then starts to weep.

CHARLES
I'm seventy-four years old!

Dusty and Bill look at him helplessly, as he doubles over and wails.  

Blossom Dearie's song fades.

CHARLES
I've fallen for a titless woman many in this town think is a man!!

DUSTY
Don't worry, Daddy.  You're in Provincetown now.

SOUND:  The melody of "You Have Lived in Autumn"
EXT:  Day.  Fluke and Charles are walking along a sparsely populated beach in Truro.  The dunes loom above them; the rough waves crash against the shore.  Most of the bathers are nude, including families with small children.  Charles is touched by what he sees and hears.

FLUKE
You know, Charles, when I lost my breasts, my hair, my husband, I learned that the easiest thing to do without was my husband.  The breasts, the hair, took more time.  I was only thirty-eight years old.  I was forty when I first came here.  I fell in love - again - with the look of the place - the weather.  But I kept myself hidden.  Then one windy day I was walking along this beach.  It was deserted.  My hat blew off.  I got it.  But before I put it on, without even thinking, I took off my wig and threw it into the sea.  It felt so absolutely right.  So I rejoined the world as an androgynous creature.  It worked - it works - very well.  Only the most courageous fools approach me.
CHARLES
How have you supported yourself all these years?

She smiles enigmatically.

EXT:  Late morning - patio.  Dusty is sweeping.

DUSTY
Porno novels?!

CHARLES
Yes.  She says they spring from her mind like weeds.  Makes a very decent living.

DUSTY
Fluke what?  What's her - eh - nom de plume?

CHARLES
Studs McQuick.

INT:  Renei's shop - day.  Dusty has just placed a copy of "Get All Ya Can Get" by Studs McQuick on the counter.  The jacket design is lurid: one woman in a harem of naked men.

RENEI
I don't believe this.

DUSTY
All these years, you never wondered about her?

RENEI
She was here before I was born.  A fixture.  Who wonders about old people?

DUSTY
My father.

They laugh.

INT:  Laundry room - day.  The garage door is open.  Bill is stacking linens on shelves.  The female housekeepers, sisters Isobel and Flora, arrive and start assembling their cleaning gear.

ISOBEL
You want to raise your kids here, you raise your kids here.

FLORA
We grew up here.  What did we turn into, axe murderers?

ISOBEL
Worse.  Housekeepers.  (to Bill) You own the place.

FLORA
You're the one who dropped out of high school.  Mom told you...

ISOBEL
No one called you names.

FLORA
I wasn't into sports.

ISOBEL
(to Bill)
You know what it's like to be spat at and called a dyke?

One of the bikers, in tight cutoffs and halter top, is standing at the garage door.

BILL
Not really.

BIKER
I do.

ISOBEL
But you are a dyke - on a bike.

BIKER
Being called one doesn't make it easier even if you are one.

ISOBEL
Well, I'm not one.  And I hate being called one.  And I don't want my kids going through that - ever.  When I have kids.

FLORA
We survived.

ISOBEL
She has a Masters in Music, and she calls this survival.

Isobel and Flora depart in mutual frustration.  Bill is distracted by the biker's appearance to the point of awkwardness.  There is nothing coy about the woman; she is genuinely friendly.

BIKER
If I had kids I'd raise them here.

BILL
Wh-why

BIKER
Because nothing here has to be hidden.

He focuses on her sizable bust, but she doesn't notice.

BILL
Nothing.

BIKER
Any kids?

BILL
We - ah- no, no.

BIKER
Funny.

BILL
Yes?

BIKER
The two guys who had this place before you, both of them had been married.  Both had kids.  It must be hard coming out late in life.  Now the straight couple have no kids.  It's never what you expect.

BILL
Never.

His expression suddenly becomes tender.  He no longer looks at her body, only at her face.

BILL
How old are you?

BIKER
Twenty-two.  Why?

BILL
Just wondered.

BIKER
But you're not wondering why I'm here.

BILL
I thought perhaps you had a fancy for laundry rooms.

She chuckles.

BIKER
I fancy a few more towels, if possible.

BILL
Certainly.  Have fresh.

He slides two towels he has just folded toward her.

BIKER
Thanks.

He nods, staring after her as she goes.  His face saddens, he turns slowly, then reaches for a box on an upper shelf, one of the boxes he refused to put in the house when they arrived.

INT:  Kitchen - short time later.  Dusty is washing dishes.  A framed photograph of the young woman whose photo Dusty concealed in her purse on the plane is slid toward her on the counter.  She stops, dries her hands, and picks up the picture, running her fingers delicately over the glass.  Her eyes tear.

DUSTY
Thank you.  It's good to see her again.

BILL
Yes.

Teddy appears at the window.

TEDDY
Hey, you people, Harry wants to drive to the beach and...

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's "Love in the Present Tense"

EXT:  The beach near the lighthouse shortly before sunset.  Butch is bouncing along, happy to be off lead.  He circles Harry and Teddy as they toss stones between them and into the ocean.  Bill and Dusty, their arms around each other, follow, with Charles and Fluke, arms intertwined, not far behind.  The men stop tossing stones and walk side by side, ahead of the other four.  After a few moments Harry places an arm around Teddy's shoulder.  Teddy looks down at Harry's hand, up at Harry, then tries to glance back over his shoulder.  The other two couples grin, aware of Teddy's rigid body language.  Teddy raises his arm very tentatively, lowers it slightly, then places it gently around Harry's waist.  The two couples smile broadly, almost laughing their approval.  The six stroll toward the sunset with Butch leading the way.

EXT:  The lawn - morning.  The chairs and tables are occupied.  The guests, the usual variety, are amiable, the conversations punctuated with laughter.

INT:  Office.  Harry is seated at the desk.  Dusty is handing him his credit card.

DUSTY
Oh, here.  You're parents forwarded your mail.

She hands him a large envelope.

HARRY
I hope they paid the bills.

She looks concerned.

HARRY
Just kidding.  They do.  Off to the gym.

He rises and goes to the door.

DUSTY
You never go to the beach, except at sunset.

HARRY
Right.  Do you think I'm getting pale?

She waves him off.  He leaves.  Teddy enters the office through the door that leads into the house.  He looks over her shoulder.

TEDDY
He did it.  He's staying another month.

DUSTY
I'd offer you a commission but it would make me feel like a pimp.

He nudges her shoulder playfully then sits, shaking his head.

TEDDY
Over a month.  (pause)  Six years ago he came here for a week.  From Idaho.  He read about P-town.  Knew what he was.  Never did a thing about it.  Says I picked him up at the Tea Dance and we made love that night, all night, in the dunes.  I still don't remember any of it.  I was a real slut.

DUSTY
Maybe now you're a better person.

TEDDY
I never wanted to be a better person.

She mildly disapproves.

TEDDY
Well, can you remember everyone you ever made it with?

DUSTY
Yes.  Unfortunately.

He smiles.  She hesitates.

DUSTY
Teddy, are you ah...

TEDDY
Practicing safe sex?

She shakes her head awkwardly.

TEDDY
Sure.  Damn disease.  You'd think we wouldn't have to.

DUSTY
Why?

TEDDY
Oh, he's positive, too.  Just positive.

She looks surprised.

TEDDY
You don't have to look it.  I guess you think I'm sick 'cause of the way I looked when I came here.

She nods.

TEDDY
I did that to myself.  Booze, shitty drugs, very little food.  After I found out I was positive.  I'm surprised I'm not dead.  I'm not even sick.  Yet.  But sometimes I am very nervous.

She smiles affectionately.

SOUND:  Faint rock music.

EXT:  The Provincetown beach - late afternoon.  There are very few bathers.  Most of the activity comes from the rear decks of bars on Commercial Street.  Two are a short distance apart.  Charles and Fluke, strolling arm in arm, are nearing the first, a place patronized only by women.  As they pass, Charles' glance is casual.

SOUND:  The rock music fades into another song, the music from the bars overlapping.

They near a bar patronized only by men.  Charles stops Fluke and takes a longer look at each bar.

CHARLES
I'm surprised they would do that here.

FLUKE
Separate bars?

He nods.
FLUKE
Oh, I think we take our pleasures in packs.  It's safer.  Who was it who said, "Most people are other people"?

He shakes his head.  They continue strolling.

CHARLES
You certainly don't fit that mold.

FLUKE
But I live here.  All year round.  In my own little house...

Two masculine women are approaching.

FLUKE
...where I don't rent rooms or engage in any form of local commerce.  I'm not dependent on tourists for my survival.  I don't have to be like anyone else.  Those bars up there are no different than any bar in the country.  Go anywhere and you'll find Xerox copies.  That's what most people need, that's what most people can handle.

The women are passing next to Charles.  One says snidely:

WOMAN
Straight bigots to the left.

The women laugh as they continue walking.  Charles is about to stop.

FLUKE
Keep right on walking.

CHARLES
Was that some kind of joke?

FLUKE
No.

CHARLES
Do you know them?

FLUKE
Never laid eyes on them.

CHARLES
She meant that.

FLUKE
Yes, it seems she did.

CHARLES
That's appalling.

FLUKE
And if you respond to her I can guarantee she'll do an Irish jig on your English face.

CHARLES
That's the damndest...

FLUKE
Now you know.

CHARLES
What?

FLUKE
What it's like to be different.

CHARLES
But I'm not dif....

FLUKE
To someone like that you are.

CHARLES
I thought everyone here was so accepting.

FLUKE
Practically everyone is.  They can't afford not to be.  But there's always that insane exception.  What she just did was nuts.

CHARLES
And cruel.

FLUKE
This place can be cruel.

CHARLES
I just saw that.
FLUKE
No, I mean the beauty of it, the freedom of it.

CHARLES
Not quite real?

FLUKE
It's terribly real.  But it ends so quickly for most of them.  A vacation - a week or two - maybe a summer of work.  Then the weather draws a curtain and the town becomes an abandoned house.  All the little boys and girls go back to being men and women.  And who the hell wants to do that most of the year?  It's a hard place to leave.

CHARLES
Yes, it will be.

His response causes her to shift her gaze to the boats anchored in the bay.

INT:  Laundry room - day.  Bill is loading the washer.  Dusty is searching through boxes.  Charles is munching on an apple.

CHARLES
Has anyone ever expressed a conspicuous dislike for you simply because you're heterosexual?

BILL
No.

DUSTY
Yes.

Bill looks at her.

DUSTY
I sense it.  Every so often, with a few of the guests.  There's a distance.  Some of them will sit out there being perfectly friendly with total strangers, and when I come along they clam up.  I feel like mother superior.  Or mother inferior.

BILL
I haven't noticed a thing.

CHARLES
It's a very unpleasant feeling - being called a bigot.

Teddy enters and puts away his cleaning equipment.

DUSTY
Oh, I'm not bothered by it.  Very few of them do it.  I suppose if I flounced about like some fag hag I'd be a big hit.  But I'm not about to accommodate anyone.  And I'm not patronizing anybody.

TEDDY
Right on, momma.

Teddy exits quickly.

BILL
It's 'de love thang'.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie "After You, After Me"

EXT:  An expanse of dunes at Truro, just before sunset.  Harry and Teddy are specks in the distance, running and tumbling on the slopes.  A series of individual close-ups of them watching each other play reveal the deep affection between them.  They pick up their sneakers and walk to the top of one of the highest dunes to sit, play footsies, and watch the sun go down.

TEDDY
I miss being in the sun.

HARRY
Yeah.  I wonder if it's true.  That it's bad for the positive.

TEDDY
That's what they say.

HARRY
Can't believe everything you hear.

TEDDY
No.

Teddy is looking at their bare feet.

TEDDY
Makes me wonder.

HARRY
What?

TEDDY
What color our babies would be.

Harry laughs, rolls over and kisses him.  Teddy looks at him seriously.

TEDDY
What the hell am I going to do without you?

HARRY
I've been thinking about that.

They smile.  Blossom Dearie's song fades.

EXT:  The patio - mid-afternoon.  Isobel and Flora leave the office and cross to their car.  Dusty is seen through the window, seated at the desk.  The car pulls out, just as another car is heard pulling in.

INT:  Office.  Dusty glances out the window, closes a ledger and rises.  Butch, sleeping nearby, opens his eyes and looks up at her as she goes to the door.  She stops abruptly at the sight on the parking lot.

DUSTY
Oh, my God.

EXT:  The lawn.  An elderly couple, over ninety, are standing next to a bright red vintage Mercedes, looking around the property wistfully.  Dusty approaches cautiously.

DUSTY
Mr. and Mrs. Chow Chow?

...in a voice surprisingly throaty and strong.

MRS. CC
You got it, kid.

Dusty has no idea what to make of them.

INT:  Fluke's bedroom - evening.  She is seated, hatless, at a vanity opening a fresh tube of lipstick.  She starts applying it carefully.  Charles' reflection appears in the mirror.  He is buttoning his shirt.

CHARLES
Oh, Fluke.  I don't need lipstick.

FLUKE
I know.  I do.  Now.

He smiles.  She removes a box from a lower drawer, opens it and chooses a pair of earrings.

EXT:  Patio - night.  The Chow Chows are crossing the lawn as Charles and Fluke, arm in arm, walk up the path to the patio.  Dusty and Bill are seated.

MRS. CC
Hey look, Mr. Chow Chow, Fluke's come out of the closet.

FLUKE
Welcome back.

MR. CC
Earrings.

MRS. CC
Lipstick.  You look like a puss.

MR. CC
How old are you now, Flukey?

FLUKE
You know how old I am, Mr. Chow Chow.

MR. CC
A baby.

MRS. CC
Who's your fella?

DUSTY
My father.

Charles extends a hand.

CHARLES
Charles.

MR. CC
We're Mr. and Mrs. Chow Chow.

FLUKE
Of Snatcheroo, Wisconsin.

CHARLES
No.

MRS. CC
Naw, it's just our little joke.

LATER:  Everyone except the Chow Chows is seated.  Mr. Chow Chow has just slipped a tape into the deck.

MRS. CC
What the hell did he know?  He was a virgin.  I was a waitress.

Mr. Chow Chow nods as he extends his arms for her to join him in a dance to Blossom Dearie's "The Best Is Yet To Come".

MR. CC
I was seventeen.  I was a traveling penny candy salesman.

MRS. CC
Courted me like a real gentleman.

MR. CC
With penny candy.  It was good back then.  Not like the crap they sell today.

MRS. CC
Then he said he wanted to take me away for a few days.  Brought me here.

MR. CC
It was a mess.

MRS. CC
But we still had to sign a register.  I told him, "Don't sign our names."  "What do I sign?" he says.  "Mr. and Mrs. Chow Chow of Snatcheroo, Wisconsin," I tell him.  It just popped into my head.  And that's what he signed.

MR. CC
They put us in a shack right over there.  Smelled just like chicken shit.
MRS. CC
When I realized that I didn't care that it smelled like chicken shit, I knew I was hooked.

MR. CC
We've been back every year since.

MRS. CC
Used to bring the boys with us.  Our twins.

MR. CC
Lost them in Korea.

DUSTY
Oh, I'm....

MRS. CC
No, no.  We'll be with them soon.  Won't we?

MR. CC
Yeah.

MRS. CC
This place, I'll tell you, always got a nice crowd.  Once the first owners got past the smell, it was straight uphill.

MR. CC
Well, maybe not straight uphill.

MRS. CC
You'll do real good.  Just don't take any crap from anybody.  Keep it clean.  Keep it neat.

MR. CC
And always remember that people are here to act out their fantasies - find their dreams.

MRS. CC
If they have them.

MR. CC
Some succeed.  Some don't.

MRS. CC
Sometimes a miracle happens.

MR. CC
And sometimes people will bore you to death with their life stories.

MRS. CC
Especially the old ones.

With a slow, graceful gesture Fluke removes her hat, rises, and extends a hand to Charles.  They start dancing.  Dusty and Bill are touched.

MRS. CC
Some people got it, some people ain't.  Fluke.

FLUKE
Yes?

MRS. CC
You sure as hell got it, kid.

FLUKE
Thank you, Mrs. Chow Chow.

They continue dancing.  Bill and Dusty are still smiling.  Fluke looks at Charles.

FLUKE
By the way, my name's Louise.

CHARLES
How do you do.

She rests her head on his chest.

EXT:  Lawn - day.  Bill and Teddy are weeding the perimeter on Tremont Street.  Teddy wears a white cotton hat, slacks, and a long sleeve shirt to protect him from the sun.  Bill is taking the conversation more seriously than Teddy realizes.

BILL
What do his parents do?

TEDDY
Some big sparerib - barbecue - place in Pocatello, Idaho.  Pocatello.  Wasn't Judy Garland born there?

Bill shrugs.
TEDDY
Is there money in spareribs?

BILL
When they're cooked, I guess there would be.

TEDDY
School.  He insists I go to school.

BILL
That's not a bad idea.

TEDDY
I was terrible in school.  The only thing I could do was bake great pies in home-ec class.  I bake a mean pie.

BILL
Do you know if he's told his parents about you?

TEDDY
Says he has.

BILL
Make sure.

TEDDY
Yeah.  I can just see him flying me to Pocatello and introducing me as Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.  Oh, Jesus.

EXT:  MacMillan's Wharf - early evening.  An eclectic crowd is boarding a Dolphin cruise.  Harry, Teddy, Renei, Dusty, Bill and the Chow Chows are among them.  Mrs. CC is addressing Bill, Dusty and Renei.

MRS. CC
Don't worry.  Your folks are at the shop.  Charlie and Fluke are watching your place.  You can't let a business run your life all the time.

MR. CC
Took us years to learn that.

RENEI
When did you retire?

MRS. CC
Last month.

DUSTY
Are you kidding?

MR. CC
No.  We thought we'd retire at ninety.  That was three years ago.  You can't go on forever.

Dusty is adjusting Teddy's shirt collar.  Renei notices.

DUSTY
Is that sweater going to be warm enough?

Teddy nods, but not selfconsciously.

BILL
I have this jacket if he needs it.

Harry and Renei are both aware of the concern Dusty and Bill are showing Teddy.

MR. CC
(to Bill)
How's this year's business compare with other years?  Have you checked the old records?

BILL
It's just about the same.  A lot of repeats.  A number of them have even booked for next year.

MRS. CC
Good sign.  Lots of repeats.  Always a good sign.

Renei and Harry chuckle.  Joe comes off the boat and goes directly to the group and kisses Renei.

JOE
Ready?

HARRY
We didn't get our tickets yet.

JOE
Forget it.

MRS. CC
Oh, a freebie.

MR. CC
This is jitterbug night?

JOE
Oh, yes.

The Chow Chows nod approvingly.  Joe escorts them onto the boat.  Reverse angle of boat as it pulls away from the dock.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie "Love Is A Necessary Evil"

EXT:  The Dolphin at sea.

EXT:  The forecastle of the boat.  The Chow Chows, Harry and Teddy, along with a number of passengers are jitterbugging.  The Chow Chows' movements are only slightly hampered by age, but their enthusiasm isn't.  They attract the most attention.

INT:  Bridge.  Joe is at the wheel.  Renei, Dusty and Bill are looking down on the dancers.

RENEI
Who's adopted who?

BILL
What?

JOE
Looks like the Chow Chows adopted you two.

RENEI
And you two adopted Teddy.

DUSTY
Does that happen often here?

RENEI
I guess.  If you stay long enough.  You either get adopted or you adopt somebody.

JOE
The place is like some kind of emotional orphanage.

Renei laughs when she looks down on the forecastle and sees that Teddy is dancing with Mr. Chow Chow and Harry is dancing with Mrs. Chow Chow.

EXT:  The forecastle.  At this point no one is paying much attention to the incongruity of any of the dancers, including the few youngsters who have taken the cruise with their parents and are now attempting the jitterbug.  The Chow Chows wave to the group on the bridge.  Bill and Dusty wave back in the form of a dance step.

EXT:  The boat at a distance, as Blossom Dearie's song fades.

INT:  Office - day.  Dusty is at the desk.  Mrs. Chow Chow is seated with Mr. Chow Chow standing behind her.  He has just handed Dusty a large, sealed white envelope.

MRS. CC
Now don't open it 'til we leave.  Okay?

DUSTY
Okay.

MR. CC
It's a surprise.

MRS. CC
Don't you love surprises?

DUSTY
Yes, I've learned to love them working and living here.

MRS. CC
Put it in a safe place.

Amused, Dusty takes her key ring and unlocks one of the large drawers in the desk.  The Chow Chows exchange sheepish grins.

INT:  Bill and Dusty's bedroom.  They are on opposite sides of the bed, preparing to retire.  Butch is already asleep at the end of the bed.

BILL
Do you think we've been adopted?
DUSTY
The Chow Chows?  Maybe.  I imagine they've attached themselves to all the former owners.  They watched this place grow.  And when you think about it, it grew because of people like them - the loyal customer.

He nods.  Her expression becomes serious.

DUSTY
Have we adopted Teddy?

BILL
I think Harry wants to take him home to mother.

DUSTY
Oh, God, his mail comes from Pocatello, Idaho.

BILL
His parents sell spareribs.

DUSTY
You mean barbecue?

He nods.

DUSTY
Must be good.  They pay all the bills.

BILL
Will they pay Teddy's bills?

DUSTY
Would we?

BILL
We could.

DUSTY
And that would be the first step toward doing what Dr. Abrams said we might do.

BILL
I'm not trying to replace her.
DUSTY
No, but we are trying to protect him.

BILL
I just know he'll be safer here.

She looks at the framed photo of the young woman on her night table.

DUSTY
And we might have to watch someone else die.  And you said you didn't have any courage.

EXT:  Commercial Street - late afternoon.  Harry is on a public telephone with Teddy beside him.

HARRY
But I explained all that in my letter.  No, no he's not.  Who said that?  He... Momma, I'm not doing this on the phone.  I'll write.  And you write.  Love you too.

He hangs up.  They start walking.

TEDDY
They don't want me there, do they?

HARRY
Nope.

TEDDY
I'm not surprised.  I'm not hurt.  Don't be...

HARRY
They don't want me there either.

TEDDY
Cause of me?

HARRY
No.  My Uncle Richard, he's also our minister, told them if anybody found out I was positive it would kill their thriving barbecue business.

TEDDY
And taking me home would kill it twice as fast.

HARRY
They were good.  They were so good when all this happened.  Damn.

TEDDY
Harry, I never really wanted to go to Pocatello.  Just the name Pocatello scares the shit out of me.  I feel safer here.

HARRY
You got AIDS here.

TEDDY
And you got AIDs in Idaho.  (pause) I don't even know where Idaho is.

Harry chuckles, then playfully throws an arm around Teddy's neck.

INT:  AIDS Hospice - same room.  Fluke and Charles are arranging flowers in vases.  Butch is at the threshold being petted by the residents and workers as they go by.

FLUKE
I can't do it.

CHARLES
But it would only be...

FLUKE
Not for two seconds.  I'm not going any place where people will stare at me.

CHARLES
You think they don't stare here?

FLUKE
Here I'm a passing theatrical event.  Anywhere else I'd be a freak.

The woman who owns the hound pokes her head in.  She carries some papers.

WOMAN
They're having trouble getting a place for the benefit.

FLUKE
We'll find something.  This happens every year.

The woman leaves.

CHARLES
You wouldn't be a freak if you wore a wig.

FLUKE
Oh, Charles, it's not just the goddamn wigs.  It's the world.  I simply don't like it very much.

CHARLES
We have a very high tolerance for eccentrics in England.

FLUKE
Bullshit.

CHARLES
It's true.

FLUKE
Look, this town certainly has its flaws, and it can be dull as hell in the winter, but the conformity here...

CHARLES
Conformity?

FLUKE
Yes.  Being less critical, less judgmental, accepting...

CHARLES
I'm the straight bigot who was ordered to move to the left.

FLUKE
That was an exception.  Don't linger over it.  There are other traits to hold onto.  For a few months every year this place comes alive in a way few places on earth do.  Fairly.  I like the variety.  I love the air, the weather, the light.

CHARLES
I'm afraid I can't offer you much of that.

Pause.

FLUKE
Then I guess I'll have to offer it to you.

He is deeply touched.

CHARLES
Oh, Louise.

FLUKE
But there will be none of that.  It's Fluke.  (pause)  In England it would probably be Louise.

EXT:  An outdoor cafe on the bay - late afternoon.  The Chow Chows and Harry are having high tea.

HARRY
Why am I telling you all this?  You're on vacation.  You didn't come here to listen to people's troubles.

MR. CC
But we always do.  It always happens.  That's why you grow old, to listen to people's troubles.

MRS. CC
Do you understand why your folks feel they have to protect their business?

HARRY
No - and yes.  I didn't expect this.

MR. CC
Neither did they.  I bet they didn't expect you to be gay either.

MRS. CC
Or this gorgeous.

HARRY
I guess not.

MR. CC
Do you know how to cook barbecue?

HARRY
Oh, God, yes.
MR. CC
As good as your folks?

HARRY
Sure.  I worked my butt off in that place.  I even know how to build a brick oven.  I liked it.  Liked meeting people.  But they insisted I go to college.  Didn't want me working as hard as they had to work.  Not for the -- rest of my life.  That's why they let me stay here for the summer.

MRS. CC
And you met Teddy.

HARRY
(seriously)
I came looking for Teddy.

The Chow Chows smile knowingly.

INT:  The laundry room - mid-afternoon.  Bill and Dusty have just finished the last of their chores.  Charles is sitting on the large folding table.

CHARLES
Oh, Dusty, what's back there for me?

DUSTY
Friends.  Your own little history.

CHARLES
Xerox copies of what I used to be.

BILL
Charles, you haven't changed that much.  None of us has.

CHARLES
No.  And I won't have to if I stay here.  But I won't be bored.  And I was certainly bored at home.

Flora and Isobel have entered to return their cleaning supplies.

ISOBEL
You staying, Charles?
DUSTY
With Fluke.

ISOBEL
Well, to each his own.

CHARLES
Fluke is a...

FLORA
Woman?

CHARLES
What's the point?

Everyone smiles.

BILL
I guess he has changed more than we realize.

ISOBEL
I'm trying to get the hell out of here, and a bunch of foreigners are coming thousands of miles to get in.

FLORA
That's what our grandparents did, dumb ass.

ISOBEL
See you tomorrow.

Isobel leaves.  Flora shrugs apologetically, then leaves.

CHARLES
I've seen the people who come here grab what they can, if only for a weekend, a month, whatever.  But they had a chance to live their own lives.  For some all too briefly - for some.  I just want to do that with what's left of my life.  When we lost Sheila...

DUSTY
Daddy.
CHARLES
Daddy?  We lost your mother six months after your daughter.  I think about it.  You think about it.  Yet we never talked about it.  You did with Dr. Abrams, but not with me.

BILL
It hurts too much, Charles.

CHARLES
It's supposed to hurt.  What kind of people would we be if it didn't hurt?

Bill and Dusty have stopped performing their chores.

CHARLES
But you had the advantage.  You could run, run away.  Leave every reminder behind.  And settle in a place where there would be very few - breeders.  But no one asked this breeder to come out and play.  I had to come on my own.  I'll go and look at naked people, I said to myself.  They turned out to be naked in ways I never expected.  And I like it.

DUSTY
What about Teddy?

CHARLES
That he might die?  Then again he might not for quite some time.  What about me?  Are you afraid to watch me die?  Gone for good is - it.  Done.  Timely or untimely.

Pause.

BILL
They say the winters here can be tedious and rough.

CHARLES
And that's a perfect description of old age anywhere on the face of this earth.
EXT:  The lawn - late morning.  Four butch women are playing "Swingtime In Honolulu" on ukuleles.  Six chubby men in shorts are dancing while attempting the Hawaiian folk art of swinging large balls at the end of long ropes.  This 'rehearsal' is not going well.  Someone is always getting hit by someone's balls.  The Chow Chows are on lounge chairs placed at a safe distance, watching intently.  Harry and Teddy are in front of Harry's cottage, painfully suppressing their laughter.

MAN #1
You clumsy faggot!

MAN #2
Sorry, dear.  Keep going.

MAN #3
Move over!  Move over!

MAN #4
Is that stage going to be big enough for this?

MAN #5
They don't have a place yet.

MAN #4
We could kill people with these things.

MAN #6
No place yet?

MAN #2
Lyrics!  Lyrics!

Dusty comes up the path from Tremont Street, smiling at the dancers.  Mr. Chow Chow beckons her.

DANCERS
It's always swingtime in Honolulu.
In Honolulu it's alwaysswingtime... etc.

MRS. CC
That envelope we gave you.  We need it.  We'll give it right back.

Dusty nods and crosses to the office, smiling rigidly at the dancers.
DANCERS
All islanders swing through the day
All islanders swing to the sway
All islanders swing as they play
With a little wackee whooah
And aloha ikee pooah.

MAN #6
I can never get that line right!!

INT:  Office.  Dusty enters and finds Bill doubled over just inside the door, tears rolling down his cheeks from suppressing his laughter.  Dusty collapses behind the desk and shoves a tissue in her mouth.  Butch sits looking through the screen door.

EXT:  The lawn.  Hips are swaying , cords are getting twisted, balls are flying in every direction.  Teddy and Harry are at the van unloading bags of charcoal.  Both are having difficulty suppressing their laughter.  The Chow Chow's are all smiles and nods of encouragement.  The dancers' clumsiness forces them to stop.  The women playing the ukuleles continue totally absorbed in their own accomplishment.

MAN #2
Hold it!  Hold it!

The women stop reluctantly.

MAN #3
I'm just glad this wasn't my idea.

MAN #2
Remember, we're doing this for charity.

MAN #6
Which is what we're going to need if we don't get this schlock act together.

MAN #2
Positions, please!

MAN #4
Positions indeed.

MAN #2
Hit it, girls!

The women strum, and the chaos begins again.  Harry and Teddy are carrying the bags of charcoal to the patio.  Dusty is leaving the office.  She carries the envelope.

MAN #4
Ahhh!

EXT:  The patio - night.  Fluke, Charles, Dusty, Bill, Renei, Joe, Teddy, Harry, and the Chow Chows are relaxing after dinner.  Harry and Joe are cleaning the barbecue pit.  Dusty and Bill are rearranging chairs.  Teddy is placing slices of pie on plates.  The four elderly members of the group are seated, having their seconds on the pie.

MR. CC
Hmmm.

MRS. CC
After all that great barbecue I didn't think I'd have room for one slice much less two.

TEDDY
It's the only thing I ever did well.

Harry shakes his head.

TEDDY
Bake a pie.  A few years ago I baked pies for an AIDS benefit.  Some queen started calling me Mrs. Smith.  It almost stuck.  That bitch never saw another one of my pies.

JOE
(to Harry)
You've got to teach me how to do that barbecue.

HARRY
Sure.

MR. CC
Don't you dare.

MRS. CC
No, no.  Everybody needs a few precious secrets.

HARRY
Oh, being gay in Idaho is precious enough.

Laughter.

RENEI
Fluke, I read one of your books.

HARRY
What book?

CHARLES
Oh, Fluke writes...

Fluke covers her face with her hat.

FLUKE
Charles!

BILL
Good God, she's embarrassed.

MRS. CC
Still peddling filth?

MR. CC
I hope so.

FLUKE
Oh, yes.  The beast must be fed.

CHARLES
Studs McQuick.

Laughter.

MRS. CC
(to Mr. CC)
A description of you our first time around.

MR. CC
Shut up.

Laughter.

TEDDY
I never had this much fun with straight people in my whole life.

DUSTY
Oh, Teddy, we're just like everyone else.
TEDDY
That used to be the problem.

Laughter.  Joe winks at Renei.

RENEI
Speaking of straight people.  We've - ah - decided to get married.  Next year.

JOE
And you're all invited.

MR. CC
Do we look like we're going to be here next year?

JOE
You better be.

The Chow Chows exchange shrugs.  The others are smiling, except Fluke whose smile is slightly forced.

EXT:  Lawn - mid-morning.  Isobel and Flora are leaving the laundry room with their cleaning supplies.  Four guests are at separate tables, three on the patio.

FLORA
You said you didn't want to raise your kids here.

ISOBEL
I didn't even have a boyfriend yet.  Didn't you notice?  Cities scare me to death.

FLORA
You can go back to school.

ISOBEL
That scares me even more.

FLORA
The pays good.  I'll be doing what I'm supposed to be doing.  Come with me.

ISOBEL
Cleveland.  God help us.

INT:  Office.  Dusty is at the desk going through the mail.  Teddy is counting the condoms he needs for the rooms.

TEDDY
Wouldn't it be cheaper if the guests just asked for these things?

DUSTY
They might be too shy to ask.  Especially us - the breeders.

TEDDY
Why do you make me replace the ones that aren't used?

DUSTY
Because somebody might be sticking pins in them.

TEDDY
Oh, come on...

DUSTY
We get all kinds of people here.

He considers this.

TEDDY
You're very smart.  You're also very kind.

DUSTY
Thank you.

His gaze lingers; she looks up and smiles.

EXT:  The lawn.  Teddy leaves the office as Harry is leaving his cottage.

HARRY
Going to the gym.

Teddy nods and watches him leave.  Harry looks back smiling before he disappears down Tremont Street.  Teddy goes to the laundry room.

INT:  Laundry room.  Teddy enters and quickly gathers linens and his bucket of cleaning utensils.

EXT:  Teddy leaves the laundry room and goes directly to the first floor apartment adjacent to it.

INT:  Apartment.  Teddy enters, sets the supplies down and carries the sheets to the bedroom.

INT:  Bedroom.  Teddy stops at the threshold, a look of disbelief on his face.  He starts breathing deeply to control himself.  When he no longer can, he releases a wail.

EXT:  Lawn.  The guests react to Teddy's voice.

INT:  Office.  Dusty rises as Bill enters from the house and rushes out the office door.  Dusty follows.

EXT:  The guests move cautiously toward the apartment as Bill and Dusty rush by them.

INT:  Bedroom.  Teddy is gasping for breath.  The Chow Chows, their heads covered in clear plastic bags, are in each others arms, dead in bed.  Bill turns Teddy away from the sight.  Dusty puts her arms around him, her tearful gaze focused on the couple in bed.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie "Many's the Time"

INT:  The office.  Dusty's hand unlocking the desk drawer and slowly removing the large envelope.  The song continues over...

EXT:  The highest point of the Provincetown cemetery - day, bright, intense.  Dusty, Bill, Charles, Fluke, Harry, Teddy, Renei and Joe are following the pallbearers and the minister to the grave site.  Their expressions remain serene.  The song continues under the voices of the Chow Chows.

MR. CC
Well, kids, we know this wasn't the kind of surprise you expected.  But what the hell, we wanted to do something extraordinary.

MRS. CC
When we lost our boys in that war that wasn't a war, over forty years ago, we decided then, never would we allow anyone to take anything from us we weren't willing to give.  And in time that came to include our lives.

MR. CC
No, we didn't expect to live this long.  We didn't expect to stay so healthy.  And for a number of years we planned to retire...
MRS. CC
...here in Provincetown.  We even bought a piece of property, a shack...

MR. CC
...real cheap.

MRS. CC
But we never did anything except rent it out, and just kept returning to The Willows...

MR. CC
...year after year.  It was right, the folks were sweet, it was good - for us.

MRS. CC
The other piece of property we bought is the place where you'll bury us.  You'll see it has a view of the monument - a nice reminder of that part of Mr. Chow Chow I always found - well, interesting.

Reverse angle reveals a view of the Pilgrim Monument, a 255 foot tower.

MR. CC
And we'll be where we belong.  With our boys.

Full shot of tombstone:

PFC MICHAEL MacGULLICUDDY
1929-1950
PFC PAUL MacGULLICUDDY
1929-1950
JOSEPH MacGULLICUDDY
1903-
MYRTLE MacGULLICUDDY
1904-

MRS. CC
Now we realize we've taken a big chance by adding the codicil.  We don't know Harry and Teddy that well.  But we do know when people are in love.  And we wouldn't want them to stop living their own lives.

MR. CC
So take the shack, the money, and by next season you could be selling lots of barbecue and pies.

MRS. CC
Start small, keep it clean, keep it neat.

MR. CC
And for God's sake, keep your recipes to yourselves.

MRS. CC
We found out about Mr. Chow Chow's cancer around the same time we learned The Willows would be sold.

MR. CC
But kicking off at this age wasn't nearly as depressing as not being able to return to the place we loved for one last time and finding it was still its same old self.  But we knew it would be.

MRS. CC
And we did return for one last time - for one last fox trot - one last jitterbug.  Now, neither one of us will have to face life without the other.  And...

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's song fades

INT:  Living room of the house after the funeral.

DUSTY
...no one will ever be able to take anything from us that we're not willing to give.

Bill, Dusty, Fluke, and Charles are seated around a coffee table.  Teddy, Harry, Renei, and Joe are standing, sipping coffee.  Bill holds a copy of the will; Dusty holds the letter.  A jewelry box is on the table.

BILL
(to Renei and Joe)
They left you the Mercedes - a wedding gift.

RENEI
Oh.

JOE
My God.

Dusty opens the jewelry box and looks at Fluke.

DUSTY
She wanted you to have her jewelry.

FLUKE
In all these years she saw me wear jewelry once.

DUSTY
There are some lovely antique pieces.  And a few watches and rings of Mr. Chow - Mr. MacGullicuddy's for Daddy and Bill.  (to Harry and Teddy) You two better sit down.

After they sit, she hands each of them a check.  Their eyes tear.

TEDDY
I cleaned rooms - baked a few pies.

HARRY
This is for barbecue?

BILL
It's for the clean-up of the shack.  Or you can take it and run.  Think about it.  There's another hundred and fifty thousand once the estate is settled.

DUSTY
And there's enough room here for the two of you to stay for the winter while you work on the shack.

BILL
It's a good start.

TEDDY
Start.

Teddy, on the verge of tears, leaves the room quickly; Harry follows.  Renei and Joe follow slowly.

DUSTY
The bulk of the estate goes to the AIDS Hospice.

CHARLES
Why you?  They hardly knew you.  They ran a terrible risk making strangers executors of their estate.

FLUKE
No, they didn't (pause)  Over the years, whenever The Willows changed hands, I'd let them know.

CHARLES
Why?

FLUKE
Because they wanted to know.

BILL
Investigated?  They had us investigated?

Fluke nods.

DUSTY
Did you know what they were going to do?

FLUKE
I suspected something after they told me about the cancer.  But I never expected them to pack it in here.

BILL
Why didn't you say something?

FLUKE
I seldom interfere with what people choose to do with their own bodies.  They died happy.  How many of us have that to look forward to?

CHARLES
They had a business.  What...
FLUKE
Confectionery.  A sweet shop.  For over seventy years.  They made candy.  And once a year, every year, they came to The Willows.

CHARLES
You were close.  Why didn't they make you the executrix of their estate?

FLUKE
Too old.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's "You Have Lived In Autumn"

EXT:  The 'shack' - day.  Harry and Teddy are walking around the building - a large, one story cedar shake structure.  At first they seem doubtful, but its size begins to impress them.

INT:  'Shack'  Teddy and Harry open the large double doors.  A reverse shot reveals a wide open uncluttered space with bits and pieces of old boats scattered about.  They enter slowly, exchanging encouraging glances.  The red Mercedes appears behind them with Renei at the wheel and Joe beside her.  She pulls onto the property, as Bill, Dusty, Charles and Fluke arrive at the entrance.  Renei and Joe get out of the car.  Harry and Teddy are inspecting the few tools that have been left behind in what was a boat repair shop.  The other six enter the building.

CHARLES
Three days?

FLUKE
I can get them some help.

Harry and Teddy are now smiling at the potential of the space.  The others are nodding in agreement.

EXT:  'Shack' - day.  The song continues.  Butch and the hound are seated side by side watching the proceedings.  The woman who owns the hound is using a push broom to clean up directly inside the open doors.  Beyond her the activity is orderly, efficient.
INT:  'Shack'  The twenty 'volunteers' were among the group that followed the Spring Quartet.  Some carry out trash; others carry materials in.  Harry and Teddy are hoisting a damaged rowboat up to a beam.  Other pieces of boats and rigging are suspended at odd angles, along with nets and rusty propellers.  Charles and Fluke are scrubbing a spacious, slightly elevated area that runs along the left wall.  Joe and Renei are unwinding electrical wiring.  Dusty and Bill arrive carrying a large folding table.

SOUND:  Blossom Dearie's song fades.

EXT:  'Shack' - evening.  Dusty and Bill are at the folding table collecting names from the last of the arrivals.  The sound of the ukeleles, augmented by a small band, playing "Swingtime in Honolulu", is heard coming from the interior.  Charles and Fluke are pushing the two residents of the AIDS Hospice in their wheelchairs into the building.

INT:  'Shack'  The crowd is cheering on the hula dancers.  With ample space and sufficient rehearsals they now have no trouble swinging their balls proficiently and singing at the same time, except Man #6, who still has difficulty with the 'Hawaiian' portion of the lyric.  Their costumes are way over the top native drag: colored tinsel for grass skirts, balloons for busts, multi-colored crepe paper wigs punctuated with colorful feathers, garish lipstick and beady little sunglasses.  The audience is as varied as the crowd on the boat, all of them laughing and cheering.  Harry is standing behind Teddy with his arms around him.  Renei and Joe are next to them, dancing.  The couple in the wheelchairs are laughing along with Charles and Fluke.  Dusty and Bill enter laughing.  When the song ends the crowd goes wild.  The hula dancers take obviously unrehearsed bows.  A couple of them curtsey.  Man #4 starts swinging his balls over his head.

MAN #4
I never want to see these fuckin things again!

He lets them fly over the crowd.  The other dancers do the same, as the band swings into "Love Is a Necessary Evil."  The eight principals exchange affectionate smiles.  The camera pulls back slowly, beyond the entrance.  Butch and the hound are sitting together.  The band's rendition dissolves into the Blossom Dearie recording.

EXT:  'Shack'  The camera rises slowly and reveals the banner across the entrance.

THE CHOW CHOW BOOGIE AIDS BENEFIT
IN LOVING MEMORY OF MR. AND MRS. CHOW CHOW
OF SNATCHEROO, WISCONSIN


THE END

...appears as the camera continues to rise to a final aerial view of Provincetown at twilight.

 

 

 

 

"Swingtime In Honolulu"
Music:Duke Ellington
Lyrics:Henry Nemo and Irving Mills
Copyright:1938, Mills Music

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IF YOU'RE FOND OF SAND DUNES


by


Robert E. DiNardo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1118 Marlborough Street
Philadelphia, PA  19125
(215) 425-2312

 


© Copyright 2017 Robert E. DiNardo. All rights reserved.

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