The Frankenstein Monster's Dick

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Erotic, silly, adult humor, over the top, horror/monster comedy

Submitted: August 20, 2016

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Submitted: August 20, 2016



When Frankenstein’s Monster tried to fuck

The poor stitched-up mass of reanimated flesh was out of luck

Like himself, his love life was dead, needing billions of volts to

Reenergize those bolts in his neck connected to head

And this he could not lustfully satisfy

His sexually frustrated and quite disappointed horny, hissing bride

For not only did his Johnson fail to rise or merely just stay soft

As the British would say “His John Thomas, his tally wacker

Did not come, it just came off!”

Due of course to second market inferior substitute surgical stitches

The humiliated and embarrassed Monster could not keep his

Tube steak lodged within his large and tall man custom made britches.


And therefore, as it stands (or doesn’t), for any other normal or

Even man-made man with E.D., this was the ultimate in terms

Of problematic penile glitches

For every time the Monster’s dick fell off, a sexual dysfunction debacle

The other creatures of Transylvania Town would chuckle and cackle

With malevolent glee and point their skeletal fingers at him

In a manner so derisive and filled with devilish cruelty

For the most part behind the Monster’s massive and powerful back

The odious citizenry of these darkened haunts did secretly talk, jeer and mock

Yet occasionally he was as well put down with quips and wise cracks publicly

As it was, Frankenstein’s Monster, now a poor dickless mass

Of used junkyard body parts, became the favorite target for their invective darts

Thrown with the refraining chorus of ghoulish belly laughs and their evil, undead taunts!


To wit, with regards to the issue of the Monster’s loose

And all too frequently falling off dick

Count Dracula, known so well for his romantic Romanian jugular vein

Hickey kiss opened his maw and started to hiss with undead breath

Whistling through those blood-stained lips and pointed fangs so sharp and long

The King of the Undead, in malevolent mirth-filled manner, so sarcastically said:

“Hey MONSTAH, VHY don’t you put a STAKE through your trouser pickle!

PURR-HAPS DAT VILL keep your long shlong on! " DERE VILL

Be BAH-LUD, BAH-LUD, but just a trickle, yes, yes, just a trickle!”

And then of course the Mummy, who could not keep

A snide commentary under wraps

Dryly stated with the rasp of an Egyptian Horse’s asp

“Try putting bandages on your banana shaft

And get it stiffly mummified. Maybe that will do the trick

To preserve your dick and thus satisfy your horny toad of a bride!”


Quickly and sickly, the tomb-like silence of the frigid night time air was filled with

The Mummy’s dry-as-a desert desiccated sand storm laughter

Accompanied by the cacophonous cackling of that black-hatted

Green Witch of a bitch, with that ominous cackling of hers ratcheting through

Her cruel, ruby-colored lips. And while spewing a poisonous cloud

Of thick, dark and choking smoke, in a shrill, and high pitched

Banshee-like voice, the sinister Witch then thusly spoke:

“You cannot get it up, since off with your boner, to the ground it fell

So for you, Monster, I can now conjure up this wicked good witch’s spell

To create a living dildo with a mind of its own " NOT IT’S OWNER’S.

Yes, a truly magic dick full of life for your big-haired, electrified nympho wife

Thus in bed, I decree with evil glee that this will surely do the trick

But beware! " She will ignore YOU in your bedroom lair,

Yet as for that black magic bone, your Bride will NEVER leave her toy ALONE!!”


The Witch’s maniacal laughter that ensued sounded like the shrieking

Of a flock of love-lost loons, the ear-ripping noise filling the dark night skies

All the way up the sardonically grinning Man in the Moon

Moments later, along shuffled a female zombie with a maddening hunger

For human flesh, a meat lust greater than that of a Florida golf course pond

Full of famished, penalty shot golfer-eating alligators, and she then grunted out

This remark, an undead and uncouth put-down dart, from the depths of her rotten mouth:

“Though your meat organ for sex, like me, a cadaverous zombie, is certainly not very fresh

Yet for “eat me” fun, I would love to chow down on your foot long wiener, nevertheless

Slathered in mustard and pickle relish, all wrapped up in a toasted and tasty hot dog bun!”


Suddenly, off in the distance, with only the baleful full moon in plain sight

Screams of mortal anguish echoed horribly throughout the ink blot

Black curtain fabric of this eerie Transylvanian night

It was the Wolf-man, now with full transformation having taken place

Thus this mangy man had no ad joinders or witty quips to add thereafter

Yet nevertheless, and with doggy breath, from his now long

Canine-snouted face, The Wolf-man howled insolently at the impotent Monster

With his loud and mocking, barking laughter, leaving him feeling even more disgraced


But then, the Monster’s empathetic Bride, with 4th of July sparkler tears showering

Out from her red-rimmed electrified eyes came along, knowing full well that

Her Monster of a man was feeling quite low due to his constantly wayward shlong

The fallen cock could not staunch or stop further erosion of his attachment to his manly pride

As well, she noted the Monster was quite actually falling apart at his stiches and seams

For despite all of the Monster’s great electro-reanimated physical strength

The great big saddened hunk of used body parts had no electric charge left in his esteem

And, as for his ego, well, it too was like a worn-out tire, now a flattened piece of junk

Thus the Monster was left sunk, crying like a 400 pound baby at length, a most pitiful scene


A moment later, the Bride so tenderly and lovingly picked up the Monster’s fallen stem

And in a soft and sexy whispering voice, into the Monster’s ear she so romantically said:

“C’MON big guy, let’s go back to the castle to try our fun time in bed once again”

Shortly thereafter, with his shlong back on and hopefully, now firmly attached

The two monstrous mates copulated, with a lightning charge of passion reanimated

There in the candle lit privacy of their now steamy dungeon love sack lair

And, LO AND BEHOLD! this time the Monster’s delinquent dong stayed on


With him humping and a pumping all night long, his wild and strong hammering

Rang his Bride’s deep inner bell, now ringing out as loud as a fire alarm gong!

And thus, with her sexual cravings so now fucking well satisfied, a joyful scream

Of one billion Watt power boomed out from the mouth of the Monster’s Bride

Followed by an incandescent smile radiating upon her scarred up happy face

The supernatural grin impossibly Grand Canyon wide, an expression that

Neither Dr. Frankenstein nor any plastic surgeon could ever put in place!


And now, with the two reunited, reanimated corpses so tightly bound within the bonds

Of the sweetest affection, the formerly wayward wang remained in place

And, when standing at full attention, it was now Transylvania’s Town tallest erection

Thus LOVE was the plug-in-the-socket electrical amorous connection

That was to keep the two monsters monstrously content

Yes, emotional attachment between the lovers’ was the switch that made them click

And, as for that once loose tricky dick, it was LOVE that was true that was the right glue

The penultimate cement!

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