Buried Deep In My Mind

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Buried deep in my mind is pretty much what is deep down that should have come out a long time ago, and is coming out in stages..

Submitted: August 21, 2016

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Submitted: August 21, 2016

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Definition of friends, people who break your heart and use you for there own amusement. Finding that out when you are young and rely on your friends to help you out in different kind of life choices, can be soul crushing and mess with your head to a high degree. This has happened to me too many times which now i find it hard to make friends or even trust someone. Punishing yourself for the way other people treat you is the only way anyone can deal with there emotions. Depression and anxiety can hit you like a brick wall, or feels like getting hit by a bus. I was extremely happy and nothing could have stopped me, just one day after finding out about how much people would use me and never cared about how i felt, i just ended up hiding away my feelings and i believed it was normal to feel sad all the time and not want to be around anyone. I would smoke and do drugs to hid my feelings of unhappiness and bury it deep down so i wouldn't have to face them anymore. i pushed anyone who was close to me away because i didn't want to fill them of disappointment, as i thought i was no one that should have any attention for. Do i blame women for this as well because of the wrong love life, or was that down too poor life choices as well. There is always that one woman who treats all over your fresh new heart, and by the end of it, you wish you didn't even have a heart to love anyone with. She would be the one that started it all. Drag you head first down a road that would test how much you wanted to live and see how close you can see your own death.. But trying to figure out if you are already dead or just living a life that you already have lived... The pain is indescribable, its a crushing feeling that does end, but not as quick as you want it to be... Alone is what you know and will always ever know. Dying is a part of life and you dont want to throw it away because you believe it has ended, when it has you will know and things will fall into place.... I believe there is someone watching over us who is guiding us in the right direction..


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