Living with a black cloud

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Jane had a pretty "normal" life. Sure she had the odd panic attack and down day but who doesn't? Little did she know that meeting Darren Gibbs would face her with her biggest challenge. Will she ever escape or return back to normal.
Or will she always have to live with Depression and Anxiety?

Table of Contents


Submitted: August 23, 2016

    Introduction   Jane lived a “normal” life. She recently moved out from her parents into a little t... Read Chapter

How it all began

Submitted: August 23, 2016

Chapter One – How it all began   So let me the scene for you. I'm an only child and was brought up in the posh area of Not... Read Chapter

Unlucky in Love

Submitted: August 24, 2016

We all as children have visions of our future. Whether it's that we will grow up to be a spaceman, dancer or a parent we all have a rough... Read Chapter

Monster in Disguise

Submitted: August 30, 2016

Everyone is guilty of picturing certain stereotypes. If you hear someone is a builder, you automatically picture the large, balding older man. Gay men are pictured as flamboyant, happy men like Alan Carr. We all know that this isn’t the case but overall its what first comes to mind. The same happens with someone who is branded a psychopath. The man person sitting in a dark corner, mumbling and nailing dead animals to the wall.
Darren Gibbs did not look like a psychopath. When I first met him there was not a single clue as to what he was really like. He like many others seemed “normal”. The first night we met we chatted about general things and I found out her had lived in town for 10 years, he rented his own house and worked in removals. We swapped numbers and unlike most men I'd met he actually called the next day and asked me out for a drink. Now one of my biggest faults with men was I moved pretty quickly. If I liked them by the end of the meeting I had already planned our wedding and picked our children’s names. I wanted to see them all the time and I''d get giddy every time my phone alerted me to a text from them. However I'd promised myself that I wouldn’t do that any more. I would take things slow and see if it did develop into anything or if it was just lust or the fact someone was showing an interest.
Like all best interest plans like joining a gym or giving up chocolate, when your in the moment its very hard to remember your plan. After that first phone call we met up every day within the week. A week later he invited me round for a meal. This for me was very rare, in fact it was completely new to me. I had always been the one cooking. My speciality were home-made lasagne from scratch and a fancy stuffed chicken. They say the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach so I had always thought if I impressed them with a tidy house and superb cooking skills they would see me as wife material and not just another notch on there bedpost. So when Darren offered to cook and not just get take out or bung a pizza in the oven I thought I'd hit the jackpot.
The evening was perfect, Darren cooked a chilli and even bought me a bag of my favourite sweets to have. Then I dropped him off at the pub on my way home and reflected on the weeks events. He had been the perfect gentleman, complimenting me and taking an interest in what I had to say and most importantly he hadn't pressured me into bed. Sex had never been a top priority for me. It had almost been a duty or a drunken thing for me and I rarely had the animal instinct to rip a man's clothes off and rush him up to the bedroom. Maybe it was lack of body confidence or the fact my first time was such a disaster but I just wasn’t fussed. Darren and I had a chat about this and he said he would wait until I was ready and he wouldn’t rush anything. I really had hit the jackpot with meeting him. The only niggle I had was thinking about it he had been to the pub every night that week. I quickly brushed this off as a good thing as every time it had been to meet a mate, so it just showed he was obviously a busy popular guy. The type of confidence I found attractive and had always wanted in a partner. I decided though that I needed some kind of seal of approval though and seeing as I did have full blown friend the task would be up to my parents.
My parents had always been very honest with me about things. For example if I tried on an outfit I knew that my mum would say if it didn't suit me or if a new make up made my skin look too pale etc. I knew that if they met Darren they would be honest about there feeling towards him. The simplest option was to arrange going for a family dog walk with them on the Saturday then on the way back we would sit outside for a drink at the pub where I would then meet Darren. I did get a bit anxious on the day wondering what they would think of him and would I actually listen if they did have any doubts. However I had know need to worry. Darren turned up and introduced himself, he offered to buy them both a drink (an instant win with my Dad) and fussed their pet retriever. They got on so well with everyone feeling at ease and deep down I couldn’t wait to get the full report back from them once I had them on my own. I know my parents have looked back on this first meeting time and time again. Analyzing it all and seeing if they could have spotted any signs. Like all parents they want the best for their child and blame themselves for any harm that befalls them. I have assured them both there was nothing to spot and nothing they could have done to prevent what happened. He had everyone fooled that he was the perfect gentleman. Like all things though he was just too good to be true.
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