wall of apologies

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: August 23, 2016

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Submitted: August 23, 2016



If, one day, that person comes along and asks you: “If you could go back in time, would you? And if you did, what would you change?” You must be ready, for the chance only comes once. To right the wrongs you have done. To heal the pain you caused. To mend the relationship you broke...


What would I say to that person? Hmm… interesting question.


It is something that has been weighing on my mind for a while. In the time now past, there are so many things I wish I could take back. But, above all, there are the things that I wish - I truly wish - I had given.

Why didn’t I do my best for this? Why didn’t I help with that? Why didn’t I agree with them? Well, these are all small happenings I would like to change. However, if I really could turn back the clock… the onlyimportant event I would like to prevent - it would have to be that time. Yes - that would be it.

At that time, I let the opportunity slip out from my fingers. No sooner had it done so, it flew away like seeds in the wind. It was such a small task, such a simple demand... I guess they often are.

I really was blind though, not to see it. The tiny streams that overflowed from her eyes, becoming rivers as they spilled down smooth, red cheeks. The choked sobs, seemingly shy to make themselves known. The shadows hiding in her glistening eyes: inky expanses marred by betrayal and sadness.

Did I honestly see none of this? A rhetorical question of course. Even though I know the answer, I cover it with uncertainty. Pride, guilt, anxiety: all excuses; all hand built barriers to keep the truth out - refusing to hear, refusing to see.

All that I had to do to calm the storm, to prevent catastrophe… it was just to say the words that needed to be said. Two humble utterances. But at the time, humility was something I did not have.

And today? It does not matter how many times I recite these words, whisper them or yell them… they fall flat against the cold wall.

For the wall cannot listen; it cannot understand; it cannot bring back what was lost.


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