The Magestical Backflip of Fate, Awkwardness, and the Best Trampoline in the World

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
Sorry for the long title, but this is a true story. Oh, yeah... Sorry for not posting for a while. Wait, never mind. Your welcome for not posting for a while.

Submitted: August 23, 2016

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Submitted: August 23, 2016

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Friends. What good are they? Well, for one, the help make stories that are imposible to forget. They also let you chillax at their houses and eat their food. But the most important thing that they are good for is that they are always there for you, like a random two and a half wheel trycicle is when you can't walk. Man, I suck at writing while I listen to music. My friends, Anon #1 and Anon #2 invited my bruv and I to their farm in Saskatchewan, Canada for a sleepover. On the way to their phone, my nose randomly started to bleed. About seven kleenexes later, the bleeding stopped. Temporarily. I decided to keep one kleenex for the blood that I blew all over the side of the car. You know, I'm just writing this story because I'm bored, stuck at home with a computer and a sprained ankle. We finally pulled up to Anon #1 and #2's house, and their big white dog jumped all over us. It starved attention, just like how I starve something life fulfilling to do because I AM SO BORED. The first thing we did was jump on their trampoline. We jumped around, and we double bounced each other at first. These people have the all-time best trampoline that I have ever jumped on in my whole entire life. Once we got bored at not mentally competing for stuff, we decided to see what tricks we could do. My friend could do some stuff, but I could do more. Excuse the bragging. I decided to jump onto my back and do a backflip from there, and my knee came and kneed me right in the nose. I mean, what else could knee me in the nose? It blead again. Ten kleenexes later and a facewash with ice coId water, I was back on the trampoline. We kept on jumping around on the trampoline, and obviously didn't do anything important after that, because I don't remember it. We eventually went inside to play poker. I lost the first round, but after that, I kept making tons and tons of money. I was up by, like, thirty-five Monopoly bucks. Anon #2 always got dealt bad hands, and he never folded. He almost bet 50 Monopoly bucks on a seven and a two in his hands. We were playing Texas Hold'em poker. Whenever Anon #2 bet, we thought that he was just bluffing, so every once in a while, he'd win big. But he was always down a crap load of money. They're playing Poker Face on the radio! That's insanely ironic. Wow. That's awesome. I paid my bruv 10 Monopoly bucks to deal me two aces, and I convinced Anon #2 that I was bluffing. I got thirty more bucks from that, but that just got me back up from when Anon #2 accidentally double bluffed me for a lot of money. Directly after that, we played one more game of poker before "bed time". We made sure no one could cheat, so we used their automatic card shuffler to shuffle it well. I won it all with a pair of sevens and a pair of fives. Then it was time for bed, so we went and jumped on the trampoline for an hour. That may or may not have been a bad idea. We jumped on the cold, wet trampoline, and had an urge to do flips. And that's when it happened. I took a breath, and decided to do a back flip. I bounced, once, then twice, then on the third and highest jump, I tucked my legs up to my chest, and then my whole world turned upside down. And then back upside right, and my feet hit the cold, wet, slipery trampoline, and my feet hit the cold, wet, slipery trampoline, and I typed that twice. I hate it when I type stuff twice. I think it's because I'm liatening to music. Well, that was a lie, because I'm listening to the radio, and it's just a lot of ads. Anyway, to continue the story, my feet hit the cold, wet, slipery trampoline, and I landed perfectly. My snuggy socks were wet, and Anon #1's feet were cold, so we went back inside to set up the beds. There was one hide-a-bed, and two recliners, and four of us. I dibsed one of the recliners, but Anon #2 stole it. I only wanted to sleep on the recliner because I slept on it every time I slept at their place. We finally got him off, and he slept in the hide-a-bed with my bruv. Anon #1 and I exchanged jokes for a long time after my bruv and Anon #2 fell asleep. I slept uncomfortably, because the recliner wouldn't stay reclined, and I could hardly breathe because of my allergy towards their cat. Once we woke up, we decided to have a pillowfight. My bruv took a big pillow, and we all had small couch pillows. I stole the big pillow from my bruv, and for every one time I hit him, he hit me five times in the face with the little pilows. By the time I had a double nosebleed, I told him to stop, but he didn't so we broke into a fistfight. He pushed me onto my friends' antique mini bookshelf, and on of the two legs broke of. I walked over to the couch half of the hide-a-bed, and my bruv was on the bed side, but I was sill mad, so I lunged myself over the couch, and punched my brother across the face. I don't remember actually getting his face, but he says I did. It was on my bucket list to punch him across the face anyway.I walked upstairs to fix my face from my third nosebleed in that trip, but their dad was getting a haircut right in front of the bathroom, and I didn't want him to see me with a nosebleed. I walked back into the basement, and found kleenexes there. After fifteen kleenexes and a lot of arguing, we just ballanced the antique on the broken leg, and didn't tell their parents about it. We went back upstairs to eat breakfast, and I had cinnamon cheerios and Corn Pops mixed together. Then we went back outside and jumped on the trampoline again. We played dead man, and I barely got caught. My bruv and I bantered with Anon #2, because we were tired of bantering with eachother, but he couldn't take it. And when he doesn't have any comebacks, he attempts to show us his junk. I have come to know when he decides to show of his junk, so I knew when not to look. My bruv thought that it was just a stickey-outy bellybutton, until he saw otherwise. We all made fun of him for his one inch pinch. Once we recovered from that life-scarring sight, we pulled the trampoline over to the playhouse, and jumped off of that. We started with just jumping of, but that was too boring, so I jumped off, and on the jump back up, I did a backflip, then a frontflip, then maybe another backflip, and only once another frontflip. That was all in four bounces. My bruv followed along, but Anon #1 could only do a frontflip on the first bounce. Anon #2 couldn't do anything. My bruv then jumped off and landed straight on his back, and I followed. We got tired of that after a while, and left the trampoline, and Anon #1 and I played basketball. And after that, (big surprise) we went back on the trampoline. There was half an hour left until lunch time, but we didn't know that. My brother double bounced me, and when I realised how high I went, I wanted to do a backflip. But it was too late. I didn't have enough momentum with the tuck, so I flailed like crazy until I landed on my back. I obviously couldn't tell that fate didn't want me to do a backflip, so I tried again. It was an amazing, no, perfect jump. I tucked, then realized where I was. I was too close to the edge of the trampoline, so when I was upside down, I bailed then flailed, trying to get upside up but still stay on the trampoline. The trampoline was coming closer and closer. I tucked my chin in, and prepaired for the landing. I got a face full of nuts, and my neck and upper back were the only thinghs touching te trampoline. For about one milisecond. Then my shins that were above my head smashed into the hard, unwelcoming metal edge of the trampoline. At first I was worried about my neck. Then I felt the hammering pain on my shins. I crawled of the trampoline with unbearable pain. It felt like both of my shins broke; were brutally smashed by a hammer. I couldn't stand up. I just knew. I didn't need to try to find that out the hard way. I made no deal of it because it was just shin pain. It hurts like a swift kick in the family jewels with steel toed boots for about three minutes, then it doesn't hurt at all. My right leg didn't hurt anymore, so I crawled with one leg over to their swing and pulled myself on. I tried not to acknowledge my excrutiating pain, but when it takes up all of your thoughts, you can't help but to talk about it. I tried to move my right ankle, but all I could manage to do was to slightly wiggle my toes. I felt like I was over reacting, but I looked down at my ankle and saw it swell like a balloon. They also saw that my ankle was a bowling ball, and they got their trycicle with only two and a half wheels and wheeled me to the house. We told their mom, which I was trying to avoid. I was frustrated. How would I do stuffs? I hopped on one foot up to the house, and five minutes later my parents showed up. My dad was in the army, and he knew a lot of first aid, and I was scared that he'd see my ankls, say it was sprained, and violently pop it back in place while I scream and writhe in pain. That didn't happen. He said it was just a sprain. I was glad that it wasn't broken, because I did not want a cast. I was shaking the whole time. I tried to eat lunch, but I barely stomached a single hotdog. My parents took me back home to get a coroner's report on my ankle. Yeah, my neighbor was a coroner. I found out that it was just a bad sprain. We put on a Tensor bandage, iced it, and called it good. I took two extra strength tylenols and two ibuprofen. Ten minutes later, my neighbor came over, and told me to move my ankle as much as possible. He was expecting tears, but NOOOOOOOOOO. The next morning, I flew to Abu Dhabi. I still haven't been to the doctor yet, and I haven't shed a single tear over my ankle. I did almost cry on the airplane, but that was because I watched 13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. It got really sad at the end when almost everyone DIED.

 

Update: I just went to the doctor and I was perscribed with Ibuprofin and lying down with my foot on three pillows watching movies. I also have a half-cast, and if it's still swolen in a couple of days, I may have torn a ligament.


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