climate change

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
Personal one. I guess you could say it is less about 'climate change' but rather a 'change in climate' ;)

Submitted: August 24, 2016

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Submitted: August 24, 2016

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Sometimes I feel like over the years I haven't changed at all - I haven't grown. At other times I look back and I can see that, yes, I was quite immature before. Well... less mature than now would be fairer to say. For example that time when you made the Announcement.

I mean, I don't blame you - you were only telling the truth. You both said that it was a 'maybe'. But do you know what I did? I went to the store with my wallet full of hope and cashed out on a box of 'maybe not'.

It couldn't be happening, not to me. It felt like it was a bad dream - and so I treated it that way. 
This was what happened in stories or in words from friends. Why did my life have to go through this development?

I really was torn. Part of me tried to stay positive - looking forward to a new start. The rest was in a sulk. Maybe if you see how it is affecting me you will reconsider - is what I thought.

I took advantage of the fact that you knew I would be emotional. I made it harder than it should have been for sure. I just wanted to be spoiled by your attention. The idea that this was as hard on you as it was for me... I used all my strength to squash it below my feet.

As the time neared, motivation took its cheque before bailing out the front door. Expectations followed suit. I was living in the present, with my mind backed up against the wall. I could not muster the courage to peek around the corner.

And then it finally happened. I discovered, not for the first time, that I can cope with change. It is the process which I dread the most. I know now, that you had spent a lot of time planning for it - you were always looking out for me.


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