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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  No Houses

I'm awake late tonight (probably due to napping). Thoughts are chasing me down rabbit holes- I need to write out or never sleep tonight.

I am scared. 

Not of what,

but of whom. 


My fear and I are together.

Almost inseparable.

Together almost every second.


I choke on my fears.

Unsettled and unseen they lurk.

The burden settles.


I curl and bend under the weight.

Terrified of losing love,

but fighting to run.


I am scared of me.

Me, myself, and I.

I am my worst fear.


i am my worst enemy.

Thoughts chide me.

I regret and I wonder.


When can I stop this?

I am tormented.

I cannot let go.






My heart races.

I think of all,

all that cannot be undone.


Banished thoughts return.

Boys filter in.

Bad and good memories play.


I am fearful.

Not fearless.

I do not feel strong.


I feel used,




The boys have used,

The boys have scarred. 

The boys created worthlessness. 


I am small. 

I am passive. 

I am torn. 


I want to run,

I want to stay,

I want to love. 


In my heart I want to fix,

Alas, panic returns. 

I picture my abusers. 


I am more. 

I can only get by. 

Eventually, I can get over it. 


I will overcome. 

I will love like no other. 

I will taste freedom soon. 


Certain cars I see,

Won't be associated,

With fear in time. 


I will be more, 

One day,

I pray. 

Submitted: September 06, 2016

© Copyright 2021 kuigie. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:


Rachel Jemmas

Very interesting. A sad poem. Well presented and easy to read. I liked it.

Tue, September 6th, 2016 10:58am


Thank you!! Late night/early morning writing is the creative hours (:

Tue, September 6th, 2016 7:19am

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