indestructable love

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
when you fail to get on the same page with your heart. when the shadow is your guide, it truly is all about who's hand is there reaching out for you.

Submitted: September 06, 2016

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Submitted: September 06, 2016

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She walked in entirely unaware of the impression my heart would have once her eyes laid on mine. She smiled and it melted my insides making me feel lucky to even be worthy of such an honor. I couldn't lose sight of her freckles and her beautiful hair. I didn't want to find her out of my sight. I should have known then; I got up to play a game and lost her in a second. What would be different this time around? The fact that she actually saw me? The fact that we were for one second seeing eye to eye? Nothing would be different; but one thing. She gave me a little bit of her time and allowed me to indulge her for a while. She permitted me to enter premises I never would have imagined redeemable. My imagination was in constant spiral and despair grabbing ahold of her by a hair. I needed to feel her skin underneath my fingertips and hear the sounds of her love silently in my ear. Expectations became too limited and reality was nothing but a fantasy.
She looked exquisite this day, it was radiating out of her pours. She was wearing happiness and although I wanted to pause my everything to adore her, she was my kryptonite. She made me weak when she smiled and her eyes shined in my direction. I was selfish and spoiled and I wanted her all for me. Like a butterfly in the garden resting on a rose, I should have let her fly. I tried to capture her and I pricked my finger on that rose instead. Like a princess story I was trapped in a spell and now  I had no escape. My voice became low and I couldn't hear my words over my thoughts. Everything was confusing and distorted and I was still happy in the fumes. It was venom to my heart and I had no idea of the power hidden in her touch. I was intoxicated and I loved every second of it, even when I lost grasp I was entrapped in her madness. It was fun every minute; even in the silence. Her name was like a sensor in my soul that went off every time someone said it. I would jump to extremes every time and when I wasn't melting at the thought of her I was yelling fuck her.
One hug was really all it took. I felt her hair on the side of my cheeks and as my head laid in her neck I smelled her scent, so breathtaking. She was dynamite and I loved it, an explosion in my core and a fire in my eyes. She was special to me and even while everyone called me blind I was happy in what seemed like misery. When it was good it was great and when it was bad it was fucking amazing. Instead of grenades and gun shots rushing across the room, it was like fireworks in my brain. She stimulated me and in the darkness she created light. Although she would be the one to pull the plug. She taught me to appreciate the stars, for they will be gone in the morning and possibly gone the next night. She was a storm there was no doubt. Lucky for her I loved rain. I embraced everything about her and loved her as she is. Was.
Fuck her. I love her. In reality; fuck me. This can't be simple, I don't want easy. I want a crazy hurricane to blow me off my feet and walk me through the clouds as lightning flies by. Hungry; my heart grew hungry. Needy, and greedy. I was happy with a sip of wine from her glass every now and then, but my heart needed more. Wanted more. Stubborn little child. I couldn't look her way because my heart would want to dive off my chest, onto the floor and cling on to her leg like a kid begging you not to leave. What do I do now? My head knew my heart was loosing it but every inch of me was in so deep. I had already drowned and was too busy being amazed at the lights as I went down under. It was too beautiful to grasp and even when life by her side grabbed me at the neck and i couldn't breathe. I loved it. No one will ever understand the feelings I have buried and locked away. I couldn't sleep astonished by her beauty. I couldn't eat hypnotized by her mind. I couldn't think stuck on her body. She was perfect and in misery I wanted her. When happiness never left not even on the worst days I knew there was nothing more for me to do. It was too late to return to shore, and it wasn't even because the sail on the boat was broken or that I couldn't swim. I was too busy resting in everything that she was I couldn't bring myself to go anywhere else. It felt perfect and it was incredible. I wanted to fill my being with her kisses and with her touch. I wanted so badly to undress her and make her mine. I wanted her over anything and everything and over anyone. Come. One magical word and I was there. Her hand in my hand I felt as if the sun was kissing my skin. Her lips on my lips felts as if that rose was apologizing for prickling me. Her skin touching my skin felt like dancing naked in the rain. Everything about her was amazing to me. Specially all of her imperfections. I love her. I accept she isn't mine and I understand that it will never really be. For the time being I will appreciate the simplest touch and the random hugs, I will enjoy her laughter until the day she no longer resides in my heart. I doubt such a day shall come, I really only wish to pause time and hold her tight in my arms.
She's tougher than most. I admire her strength but fear such power. In bed she'll hide and cry herself to sleep wanting to hear no one. If I could find a way to let her know my mind eats my soul when she's gone. My heart fights with my mind and my body falls weak to the ground. It shouldn't be that way I know. It's an addiction I cannot control. The best rehab wouldn't be able to help my case. I want to be her shoulder to cry on every time she feels overwhelmed. I want to be her pillow to rest her head on every night. I want to be the one she loves with all her might. Impossible I know. At this point all I can do is wish and dream. I don't love her for having a sexy body, or for her light colored eyes. I don't love her because her hair falls perfectly every time. I don't love her because of very freckle on her skin, or the art she chooses to wear. I love her because even when everything is wrong she is my peace. I love her because in that stubborn loud mouth having annoying  ass head of hers it's so much more. There's depth in her thoughts that I wish to explore. There's power and control in that big head of hers. She may seem to be cold as ice but really she's nothing but a sensitive jealous and territorial spoiled baby. I love her because all she has to do is smile and all my pain and misery washes away and my mistakes are no longer tangible. I love her because she is fire and she is ice. I love her because she is both my sun and my moon in the sky.


© Copyright 2017 lee serrano. All rights reserved.

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