Broken, Cracked, Defected

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
The first poem I could write about going through through miscarriages one this year and one last year.

Submitted: September 08, 2016

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Submitted: September 08, 2016

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It hurt me more than words could say when anxiety makes me push you away.

It is not because I am scared of you, but more afraid of what I might do.

I keep it quiet and under wraps but here they are the cold hard facts.

 

When it gets cold outside I cannot help but start to cry.

Stuck in my head, stuck in a home, left in the dark and all alone,

The snow and ice is anything but nice and even a little sun would suffice

but I just sit and wait.

 

Then in comes the Spring and it would make me sing! The flowers are all in bloom!

But the memories creep in and the hurt comes again so I hide in my room,

I sit and cry all day and night, Little Miss Gloom And Doom,

They cannot understand the pain that's at hand.

They do not know why the tears still flow.

 

Summer time had come, the best season of all, but little did we know how hard we would fall.

One small baby head to toe, we did not meet before your time to go.

Your heart had stopped and so had mine for that one moment there in time.

It hurt us all so very bad but who hurt worst was us,

your mom and dad.

 

We greived and cried so much that fall feeling like we had lost it all.

Old man winter returned for his season and again I'm in the dark,

no rhyme and no reason.

Then we lost baby number two and there was absolutely nothing we could do.

But go through the process of loss again.

 

I cannot enjoy sex and I cry in my sleep

but what do you do when emotions run deep?

I'm broken

I'm cracked

I'm defected

I have no choice but to sit and reflect it.

 

There is nothing to say and there is nothing to do but please understand that it is me and not you.


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