Fate's Plaything
Reads: 282 | Likes: 0 | Shelves: 1 | Comments: 8
Book by: Rorick Terlou
Some are made in favor of oneself, some in favor of others.
What if you have the skill or knowledge to help those around you, are you obligated to act in their favor?
Is it truly selfish to choose one's own life over those of others?
Table of Contents
Submitted: September 11, 2016
Submitted: September 20, 2016
Recent Comments
Great start. Only got hung up on a few spots with the wording. Looking forward to the rest.
Author
Reply
Thank you for reading!
The wording is something that has bothered me. I'll run through everything again to try and improve that!
First of I want to give you a great round of applause. Even though your first language is not English, I feel your writing is remarkable probably better than some people that have used English their entire lives. Secondly, you have a gift for creating mystery and suspense. You didn't give everything about "the Touch" right away as some do have the tendency to do that. You held back and showed great restraint. While I do agree with the above commentator that some wording was a bit confusing, it didn't detract my overall enjoyment of the story. I will admit it did start slow, but after finishing the chapter I understand why. I do hope you continue as I want to know more about Cian and what happens to him. Great job hun
Author
Reply
Thank you so much for these wonderful words!
It was very much my intention to let the flow of information be natural. Not introducing some hermit who shares all his knowledge. That far too convenient. So it makes me happy it is appreciated!
I will try to find the parts that are confusing and correct them. With that i hope to improve my writing skill! So thanks again.
This is a great first chapter, Rorick. I can clearly visualize what you want to say, and your command of English is very impressive as a second language. I stopped editing after the first paragraph and simply enjoyed the story.
I will send you a PM.
~Tom
Author
Reply
I really appreciate that you read the chapter! and thank you especially for the 'Icomments' in the first paragraph! It's already a big help! I hope i will improve my vocabulary more and more and use it to improve my story telling!
I really liked this first chapter, the descriptions were very rich, and the plot is enticing. I really want to find out what happens next, so please keep me updated! :)
Author
Reply
I'm grateful that you read my story so far!
I hope you don't have to wait long!
Read the first chapter, it was nice. Good English. If you want you can take help of grammarly.com to check your punctuation marks or some other errors.
I am new here too. I wrote an article. Read it if you want--------- Negativity and Positivity.. Hope you like it.
Your book is very good will read other chapters too :)
Author
Reply
Thank you so much for reading and the tips, i'll be sure to check grammerly more often.
I know of it, but still need to get more familiar with the correct usage, so it will definately help!
I'll be sure to do so!
Phew, what an emotional roller-coaster. Your writing is easy to follow and doesn't feel forced. The chapter is a decent length and kept my interest throughout, no painful incoherent babble just to make the chapter longer, hooray, lol. I'm very curious to see where this all leads to and what Cian's magical power is. Excellent chapter!
Author
Reply
Thank you so much! Glad to hear that. Having someone enjoy your writing is what most of us are aiming for!
I've uploaded the next chapter, but for a while i'll stop there and work on the continuation of the story.
Thank you so much again!
Booksie Popular Content
-
Shelves: 16
-
Shelves: 7
-
Shelves: 13
-
Shelves: 7
-
Shelves: 11
-
Shelves: 8
Other Content by Rorick Terlou
Poem / Poetry
Book / Fantasy
Shawn "Critta" Nyquist