It's what she wanted

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: September 15, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 15, 2016



She sees her co-worker sitting on the front bench outside, and goes to talk to him. “Hey. Are you still waiting on the funeral ceremony to start?” she asks him. “No, actually, I’m waiting on it to end. The ceremony started thirty minutes ago.” She seems surprised, “oh… had nobody showed up?” He stares at the empty parking lot, “not yet” he replies. “Wow… that’s actually pretty sad. Poor girl her family is late to her funeral.” He glances at his coworker and says “it’s what she would have wanted, or at least that’s what she wrote.” She gasp’s “wait you’re tell me she wrote that she didn’t want anyone to show up at her funeral on her will?” “No” he answers, “it’s what she wrote on her suicide note.” Megan is left speechless for a couple of seconds, “excuse me” she says with a shaken voice. “I’m sorry, I thought you already knew that she had committed suicide, but yes she wrote that in her suicide note. In fact, her family isn’t aware of her death yet. She had written that she didn’t want them to know about her death.” He notices her eyes getting watery. She tries to speak, but she can’t seem to make up the words. With his arm wrapped around her he tries to comfort her. “I thought someone would have told you by now. I’m sorry. Don’t cry it’s what she would have wanted.” “No! That’s bullshit how could someone make such a proposition like that?” she exclaimed. “Why would anyone wish for such a thing? Who’s going to mourn for her? Who’s going to pray for her? Who’s going to ask God for her to be accepted into heaven?” He is silent for a minute, “I don’t know, nobody is aware of her passing so I wouldn’t know.” Her head raises as she says “I will… I’ll pray for her what’s her name?” He doesn’t reply. “What’s her name Josh?” she says. His head goes down as he sighs, “Melissa… Melissa Jones” he says with a trembling voice. She’s stunned, “Jones?” she says, “Josh she shares your last name. That’s… that’s not your sister is it?” Tears are rolling down his face, but he doesn’t answer. “Josh that’s not your sister is it? God please tell me that’s not your sister Josh.” Again he doesn’t respond. “Oh God Josh I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry for your loss I didn’t know. Josh come here I’m so sorry I didn’t realize I’m here for you Josh” she says while she pulls him in to hug him. “Please don’t be sorry it’s not your fault. It’s okay don’t worry I’m fine. I just have to wait till the service is over so I can go home, and get some sleep. Yea that’s all I need is sleep” he says softly. “What? Josh your sister passed away, and you’re saying it’s okay? Have you told your parents yet? Josh there’s nothing wrong with showing emotions in front of others there’s no need to act brave” she tells him. “No I haven’t told anyone. I told you she said she didn’t want anyone to know. Look everything is fine I’m not trying to act brave.” “Josh! Your sister just passed away everything is NOT fine! Are you seriously going to sit here and tell me that bullshit? Call your parents they need to know. It doesn’t matter whether she didn’t want them to know or not!” she says to him infuriated. He is silently crying now. With a soft voice he says “I can’t I’m sorry. She wouldn’t have wanted it.” “God fucking damn it are you listening to yourself!?” She lets her anger get to her. “You know growing up she was more or less the black sheep of the family. For most of her life she was ignored. Her face was almost always filled with despair, but you should have seen her face when she would listen to a graceful song, or when she would watch joyful movies. Her face lightened up like no others. That was her escape, that was her shelter, her alternate reality. That was when the real Melissa would come out. She wasn’t depressed she was oppressed; forced to hid behind a mask in order to make sure others were happy. She shut herself from the world in her room. I was a kid you know I didn’t know something was wrong. All I knew was that my big sister liked to spend a lot of time in her room. Apparently that wasn’t the case. When she did leave home nobody said much. The atmosphere at home wasn’t much different. I would go through her Facebook here and there, and I would look at her pictures. Her eyes were filled with life once again. She had managed to escape her cell, and experience the world for a second first time. Growing up no one really cared for her, or her ideas, much. I am just as guilty as anyone else. She was ignored for most of her life, but judging by her eyes she managed to find life in herself. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to escape her demons and now she’s here out of all places. Her body is trapped I this hell hole of a town, but she... she set herself free while still being trapped. That’s why I can’t make the call. I’m not going to ignore her anymore. If she doesn’t want anyone to know than that’s how it’ll be. I just wish I would have started paying attention to her earlier. Maybe this could have been prevented.” Logan is covered in tears, and can’t make up any words.

The next day Logan comes in to work looking for Josh, but figures out he had called out of work. She goes down to the mortuary where she had left her phone the day before. There’s a missed call from Josh, and a new voicemail. Josh only said a couple of words before hanging up that she’ll never forget; “Logan tell Melissa that I am sorry, and that I’ll be seeing he soon. Thank you.”


- An excerpt from a book I’ll never right (ROUGH DRAFT) 

© Copyright 2018 Allan Auditore. All rights reserved.

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