The Nobel Prize Acquisition

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
I've always been a huge fan of the Big Bang Theory. I have all 9 seasons on Blu-Ray. I've also always enjoyed writing. I thought, why not put two things I enjoy together?

Submitted: September 15, 2016

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Submitted: September 15, 2016

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, or situations from The Big Bang Theory. This is for entertainment purposes only, and will not be used for profit.

 

The scene opens with Leonard and Sheldon walking up the stairs to the apartment. Leonard is opening the mail.

S: “ So in conclusion, I would like to point out that I told Rajesh he shouldn't eat that clam, it looked...funky.”

L: “It was ONE clam, how can Koothrapali be so sick from eating one clam??”

S: “Domoic acid is a very dangerous toxin that can be present in clams. It kills almost 900 people a year.”

L: “I don't think Raj is going to die.”

S: “You never know. I'm going to need you to drive me to the mall later.”

L: “For what?”

S: “I need a new suit for the funeral.”

The guys arrive at the apartment just in time to hear the phone ring.

L: “Can you get that?
S: “I could if I were asked.”

L: “Will you please get that?”

S: “Certainly.” he answers the phone. “Yes, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Yes, I live with Dr. Hoftstader. What?” Stunned silence. “Yes, I understand.” He hangs up and stands in total awe.

L: “Who was it?”

S: “Leonard, that was Staffan Normark, the secretary of the Royal Swedish Acadamy of Sciences. We've won the Nobel Prize in Physics for our Supercooled Superhelium hypothesis. We're expected in Sweden in December to accept the prize.”

L: “What??? OMG. OMG. I can't believe this.” he fumbles around looking this way and that, like he doesn't know what to do first. He walks over and sits on the couch. “This is unbelievable. Are you sure?”

S: “Am I sure? Am I sure I just received a phone call from the Royal Swedish Acadamy of Sciences? Leonard, with a question like that, I'm not sure the Acadamy made the right decision in nominating you. Of course, this is a long time coming for me but that doesn't change one thing.” He stands over where Leonard is sitting.

L: “And what is that?”

S: “You're in my spot.”

 

Scene changes to Penny and Bernadette in Penny's apartment. Bernadette is very pregnant. She struggles to get up from the sofa.

B: “I told Howard I hoped this baby was a girl. He wants to find out the sex, but I don't know. I kind of want it to be a surprise.” She walks over to the refrigerator and gets a bottle of water.

P: “I think the fact that Howard was able to find a wife and make a baby with her is enough of a surprise for anybody.”

B: “Be serious. Do you think I should find out what the sex is?”

P: “Well, that depends, do you want to know so you can be more prepared?”

B: “Sort of. But whatever it is, we can prepare before the baby comes, you know with neutral colors in the nursery, pick out both names, you don't have to know what it is in order to be prepared. Boys and girls both wear diapers, we can stock up on those.”

P: “Well, I think you should do whatever makes you happy. It's your first baby, if you want it to be a surprise then don't find out. You can always find out with the next one.”

B: “The next one? Oh, I don't know if we will have any more kids. I mean, I kind of never wanted this one. I didn't want to be a mother. But now that he or she is coming, I guess I'm happy about it.”

P: “Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be beautiful, and you will make a great mother. I just hope if it is a girl, she looks like you, and not Howard.”

 

S: “Penny.” “Penny.” “Penny.”,>,>,>

P: “Come in Sheldon.”

Sheldon bursts in the door.

S: “Great news! Maybe you two should sit down for this.”

B: “No thanks, I'd rather stand, it's too hard for me to get back up.”

S: “OK well, suit yourself. If you faint from excitement don't say I didn't warn you.”

P: (sitting down as she says it) “Sheldon, what's your great news?”

Just then Leonard runs in the door.

L: “Guess what! Sheldon and I are winning the Nobel Prize in Physics for my idea of the supercooled helium superfluid!! Isn't that exciting??”

S: “Thank you Leonard! I was just about to tell them MY exciting news, and now you've come in and ruined it.”

L: “Excuse me, but I think it's OUR exciting news.”
P: (jumping up) “OMG Leonard, that's great!! What does this mean? Are you going to become a famous scientist now?”

L: “Well I don't know about famous, but these things usually do come with a pretty hefty monetary award. We're going to be rich!” They hug.

B: “Congratulations!”

S: “Now hold on, I haven't decided if we're going to accept the award or not yet.”

They all stop and look at Sheldon.

L: “What do you mean, of course we're going to accept the award! Sheldon, you've dreamt of this day for a long time. This is the highest honor given to physicists the world over. Why wouldn't we accept it?”

S: “It's true, I have dreamed of winning the Nobel Prize. But in that dream, YOU were never a part of it. Well, you were in the audience as I made my Nobel acceptance speech but that's it.”

L: “You're being ridiculous. We can share the award, and the prize money.”

S: “It's not about the money! I always thought that if I won the Nobel Prize in physics it would be because of my paradigm changing invention, or idea. But I don't want to share credit with a washed-up experimental physicist.”

P: “Sheldon, you're being petty. It was Leonard's idea and your math that made the experiment work, it's only right that you share this award.”

S: Sits on Penny's couch. “I guess you're right, half a Nobel Prize is better than no Nobel Prize.”

L: “That's right! And I'll even let you write the speech.”

S: “Oh ok. I guess we should pack our bags, we're going to Sweden.”

 

Scene switches to Bernadette and Howard's house. They're in the kitchen. Howard is looking at his laptop on the kitchen table.

H: “I can't believe they've won the Nobel Prize.”

B: “I know, it's great news, isn't it?”

H: “I guess. But if you thought Sheldon was hard to live with before, just wait until now. They're going to need a new apartment with a giant door just to fit his head through.”

B: “Come on, he's not that bad.”

H: “Not that bad? Do you know that once Sheldon refused to put on a winter hat because he said the elastic in it felt like it was trying to squeeze his brain out through his ears?”

B: Rolls eyes. “Well, I think it's great. This is going to change a lot of things for Sheldon and Leonard. Open up new doors for them.”

H: “I just hope it's a giant door for Sheldon's head.”

B: “Speaking of things changing around here, do you think we should start picking out some names? This baby is going to be here before we know it and we haven't even discussed names.”

H: “How can we pick out a name, we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.”

B: “Come on Howard, I told you I didn't want to know, I want it to be a surprise. We can pick out one of each.”

H: “I know you don't want to know, but I do. I think we should be as prepared as possible. Tell ya what, why don't just I find out, and keep it a secret from you.”

B: “You? Keep a secret? I don't think you could do that. You would let it slip. I'd find out as soon as you started buying little pink dresses or tiny baseball gloves.”

H: “I promise I won't buy anything gender specific before it gets here. That way you won't find out. Besides, you're forgetting something. I'm the father. If it's a boy he's not going to be wearing a baseball mitt. I can't even throw a baseball.”

B: “That's true. I've seen you throw.”

H: “Come on, whaddya say?”

B: “OK, you can come to the next baby doctor appointment with me and they can tell you after I leave the room.”

They hug.

H: “Thanks honey.” As he hugs her he says, “And just think, after the baby is born, you'll have two babies to take care of.”

B: “Great.”

 

Scene switches back to the guys' apartment. Penny is in the living room watching TV. Sheldon is on the phone with his mom, Leonard is sitting at Sheldon's desk video chatting with his mom.

S: “That's right mom, your little boy is winning the Nobel Prize in Physics. Can you believe it? Of course you can, you know I'm brilliant. In fact, I'm surprised it's taken the committee so long to realize it. Yes. Leonard and I will be flying to Sweden in December to accept the prize. You can watch it live on C-Span but it comes on at 2:00 in the morning. Oh who am I kidding? You won't be able to sleep that night anyway.”

Pan over to Leonard. Beverley is on the screen.

L: “I have something exciting to tell you, mother.”

Bev: “I'm listening.”

L: “Sheldon and I have won the Nobel Prize in Physics! What do you think of your son now?”

Bev: “I'm very proud of Sheldon.”

L: “It was my idea, mother, Sheldon just worked out the math to prove it.”

Bev: “Yes dear, well Mommy doesn't have time to validate you right now, you called me in the middle of reading the paper. Call me when you've achieved something worthwhile on your own.”

L: “Always nice talking to you mother.” He shuts the computer and walks over to Penny. He slumps down on the couch next to her.

L: “I can't believe it. I've just won the highest honor given to any scientist, and my mother doesn't even care.”

S: “Well my mother is overcome with joy. She's flying down here in December so she can watch the apartment for us while we're in Sweden.”

L: “That's great.”

P: “Oh honey, what did you expect, that's Beverley. If it makes you feel any better, I'm very proud of you.” She kisses him on the cheek.

Just then Howard and Raj walk in with take out for everyone.

S: Whoa, wait a minute there Mister.” (addressing Raj). Are you still sick from eating that bad clam?”

R: “I stopped throwing up yesterday. I feel much better today.”

S: “Now you know the protocol. I have to see a Dr. statement stating that you aren't sick before you can come into the apartment.”

H: “Sheldon, I don't think food poisoning is contagious.”

S: “I don't care. Sit as far away from me as possible.”

Raj sits on the far arm of the couch. Howard sits down next to Leonard. He starts divying out the food.

H: “So tell me all about this phone call, what did they say?”

S: “Well I guess since you're never going to win the Nobel Prize in Engineering, you deserve to know. He said 'This is Staffan Normark, I'm the secretary of the Royal Swedish Acadamy of Sciences. I'm calling to tell you something very important.' Then he proceeded to tell me that the Nobel Committee had been considering Leonard and me for the Nobel Prize for a long time, and that they unanimously voted that we should be the recipients this year. He said they would be sending more information via Certified Mail, and to watch our mailbox for it. Nothing I didn't already know. I'm familiar with how the process works.

H: “And you didn't ask for some kind of proof this guy was who he said he was?”

S: “No, now why would someone try to impersonate someone named Staffan Normark? No, I've actually been expecting their call since Leonard came up with his little idea. Of course, it never would have worked had I not done the math. So I did all the hard stuff, I deserve this prize.”

L: “ Little idea? Little idea?”
P: “Let it go Leonard.”

 

There's a knock at the door, Sheldon says, “Come in.” It's Amy and Bernadette.

A: (addressing Penny) “We came over to see if you wanted to come shopping with us for baby things for Howard and Bernadette's baby.”

B: “I thought it would probably be a good idea to start buying a few things for it now, so there's not so much to get later.”

P: “Yes, hold on, let me grab my purse.”

S: “You'd rather go shopping than sit here and talk about my Nobel Prize?”

L: “OUR Nobel Prize.”

P: “Sheldon, no offense, but I'd rather sit 6 hours in the dentist's chair getting a root canal, than to sit here and talk about yours and Leonard's Nobel Prize.”

A: “Wait a minute, what Nobel Prize?”

S: “Oh I forgot to tell you, I received a phone call this morning, Leonard and I are getting the Nobel Prize in Physics in Stockholm this December.”

A: “What?? You won the Nobel Prize and you “forgot” to tell me?? Oh wow. Oh wow. This means, you and Leonard will probably be winning a lot of prize money too right?”

S: “Yes, I think it comes with a little money, but who cares about the money, we get a trophy and a plaque!”

A: “Well, that means you can finally move into a bigger place. Maybe a little house in the country, finally think about settling down, having a family.”
S: “Did you hear me say we also get a plaque? Boy, since we had coitus that's all you want to think about these days. I guess it's my fault. My genitals were too much for you to handle without falling madly in love with me and wanting to start a family.”

P: “Come on Ames, we're going shopping remember?”

A: “Shopping? Who can think about shopping now. My boyfriend is winning the Nobel Prize in physics. I want to celebrate! Come on Sheldon, you're taking me out!” She grabs her purse and sweater.

S: “Alright, but you should know I don't want to get inebriated tonight. This mind has to stay sharp for writing my speech.”

L: “OUR speech!”

S: “Yes our speech. Boy, your mother was right, you just need constant validation, don't you?”

 

Scene pans to Bernadette and Penny in a baby store.

P: (holding up a onesie) “Oh this is cute!”

B: (absently going through a rack) “uh-mhm.”

P: (holding up some booties) “How adorable are these?”

B: “yeah.”

P: (suddenly concerned) “Are you alright Bernadette?”

B: (snaps out of it) “yeah, it's just that I told Howard he could find out the sex of the baby if he promised not to tell me, and now I'm not so sure that was a good idea.”

P: “Why not? That sounds like a good compromise.”

B: “It's just that Howard isn't really good at keeping secrets. I'm afraid he's going to let it slip or I'm still going to find out.”

P: “Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. He knows you don't want to know, I'm sure he'll be careful.”

B: “This is a man who tripped on his shoelace walking across the living room floor. Careful isn't really his strong suit.”

P: “What's the big deal anyway, I mean, I know you don't want to know, but if you found out it wouldn't be the end of the world would it?”

B: “This is our first baby, I just want to do everything right. We'll never have another chance to have our first baby.”

P: “Well if he lets it slip, you can divorce him and start over, and you can have your first baby with someone else. Come on, let's go get a big ass cookie from the cookie stand. Get your mind off this baby stuff.

B: “No, I'm already fat enough, I need to get some baby things.”

P: “Oh nonsense, you're beautiful.

 

Scene changes to Amy and Sheldon shopping for suits.

S: “I thought you didn't want to go shopping.”

A: “This is different. You need a nice suit for Sweden, come on.”

S: “I don't need a new suit. I don't need to impress those people, my science has already impressed them enough. Besides, you know I'm not good at giving speeches, I'm nervous about the whole thing. I hope I don't faint.”

A: “You're not going to faint. They love you. You need to look the part.”

S: “Which one of these suits says I'm the part of the brilliant scientist?”

A: “This one. Here go try it on. Do you need some help putting it on?”

S: “Uh! You just can't keep it in your pants can you?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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