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This is the story of what happened when I obeyed Matthew 4:17.

Submitted: September 20, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: September 20, 2016




This story now comes with a "59-Song Musical Accompaniment"!  Just open this link in a 'New Window' to start it:

Then you can read, watch and listen, all at the same time!

59 songs is a LOT longer than it takes to read my story.  (But not to live it!)
But it's *mostly*, 1 track per section.  So, you can either:

1:  Wait for each track to finish before reading the next section.  (Very slowly.)
2:  Skip to the next track as you begin each section.  (As you encounter them.)
3:  Just read and let the tracks play, with them not lining-up with the story.
4:  Just play the tracks that you enjoy the most, and skip the others!

All 4 work just fine, or any combination!  (I personally, like option 1!)


(01- Enya, Watermark) -

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

Matthew 4:17:  "From that time on JESUS began to preach, “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand."


* * * 1 - Accolades * * * H I T F E B P R K X Y A V W M N Z S C U D O Q G J L *

(02- AC/DC, Who Made Who) -

"Sharing your story is important..." - April Showers, WritersCafe

"WOW... That touched my heart. That is quite a testimony..." - Skittle_butt, d2jsp

"Fascinating. Informative, encouraging..." - Doug S.

"Riveting tale, chap." - Voyaging, d2jsp

"Cool story bro, tell it again." - IceMage, d2jsp

"Thank you for posting your story..." - Caswallen, d2jsp

"Ty was interesting..." - Dakariii, d2jsp

"I will forward it to my supervisor." - Support, John Hagee Ministries




* * * 2 - Summary * * * L J G Q O D U C S Z N M W V A Y X K R P B E F T I H *

(03- Unreal Tournament, Razorback) -

Thank-you for reading my story.  This is a true story, it happened to me.
In my opinion, this is the second greatest story ever.

This was a spiritual experience.  And an experience unlike any other, ever.
Enjoy reading about it.  (I did not enjoy living it.)

Trial 1 describes a unique event in human history.
What follows, is the story of what happened after.

It will be the most amazing thing ever seen on film.


* * * 3 - Definition * * * x k y v z w m n u s c o b d p q g a e f h r j i l t *

(04- Unreal Tournament 2004, Level 3) -


plural noun: trials

"clinical trials must establish whether the new hip replacements are working"
synonyms:test, tryout, experiment, pilot study; More

1.  a formal examination of evidence before a judge, and typically before a jury, in order to decide guilt in a case of criminal or civil proceedings.
"the trial is expected to last several weeks"


* * * 4 - About Me * * * t l i j r h f e a g q p d b o c s u n m w z v y k x *

(05- Rihanna, Hard) -

When I was 11, I bought a Commodore 64= and started programming.  Also when I was 11, my best friend and worst enemy were 13 year-old men.  They raped me.  When I was 16, I programmed for NCR.  When I was 17, I joined the Marines.  One night when I was about 20, I left my body.  (When your body dies, you'll pop out.)  A few years later, I got born again.  I was at a book club meeting, and I unwittingly fulfilled the scripture, "Confession is made unto salvation."  The next morning, I felt different!  My best friend and cousin Joel, died in a car wreck.  My Mom died from pancreatic cancer.  The last fight I was in, I was saving someone's neck.  It was me against a whole gang.  My recent ex-girlfriend, did me quite wrong.  If she changes direction, we may become friends again over time.  And, that's just some of my life.

Matthew 4:17 basically says, 'Quit sinning, because Heaven is here.'  So I got the impression that if I obeyed Matthew 4:17, I would have more power with GOD.  After about 20 years, on November 1st, 2012, I achieved my goal.  Then three days after I quit smoking, through sheer willpower, 'something' happened, and then I went insane.  In my mind, I went through a series of many different trials.  It was a hellish, terrifying nightmare.  It was like hell without flames.

How traumatic this experience was, doesn't really stand-out below. Just know, that this entire experience was as traumatic, as you can possibly imagine.  Below when I say I was terrified, I WAS.  It's taken me a few years, just to be able to sit down, and get this on paper, intelligently.  I was that wrecked.  I am still reeling, (even now,) but I'm slowly improving every day.  Other than that, I'm fully recovered, except that I'm frazzled from it.  It's like PTSD.  My strength and energy are gone, and my eyesight got worse.  (It was perfect until this event.)  And interestingly, my voice got deeper.  As I re-read my story now, it is extremely emotionally intense for me.

(I had two cats at the time.  My cat Freckie (Freckles) died of old age, in her bed, with her face down, a few days before these events.  That surely added to my stress at the time.  My boy Simon was still with me.  (He later passed away also, about a year after my last hospital stay.)  Now I have Miracle, a big boy who is jet-black and very friendly, and Patches, a big girl who has patchy-colored fur and is shy!)

Simon (left) and Freckie


* * * 5 - InTrOdUcTiOn * * * b d p Q O G C S U n h r j t f E K I l Y x v z A W M *

(06- Alice In Chains, Voices) -

As I mentioned, I was working to eliminate sin from my life.  I also developed another goal.  To hear GOD's voice.

I discovered several ways to hear GOD's voice:  Your conscience;  Thoughts you have while reading HIS Word;  Being reminded of scriptures, ("HE will bring to your remembrance things I have spoken to you.");  Also, there's a Proverb that teaches that birds don't wander by, causeless.  After I read this, I saw more birds than I've ever seen.  Now when I drive, they seem to fly all around me, the whole way.

I was looking for more direct communication.

In the Bible, It says "GOD is not a respecter of persons."  Preachers teach us that this means, if GOD did something for someone else, HE'd be willing to do it for us too.  In the Old Testament, there is a passage where there is a man on his deathbed.  He talks with GOD, and can hear GOD's voice clearly.  This gave me hope that I might be able to also.

I started to notice a coincidence, that when I'd have certain thoughts, I'd hear a snap, or a click or a pop noise.  Like a confirmation.  I heard them a lot, and tried to discern any possible meaning, but ultimately I couldn't.

I've always thought that when JESUS was tempted by the devil, it was in HIS mind.  In my attempt to hear GOD's voice in my head, I started to think, that maybe not all of my thoughts were my own.  That perhaps many of them, were instead the voices of spirits.  So I started thinking of my thoughts that way.  Listening to them.  This sort of thinking contributed to my later insanity.  Do not begin thinking this way.

There's a scripture that says something like, "Test the spirits, to see if they be from GOD."  I tried to do that, while listening to my thoughts as though some of them they may be voices.

So this was a second goal of mine that I was working on, at the same time as Matthew 4:17.


So three days after I quit smoking...


* Trial 1:  {November 4th-7th, 2012, Dayton, Ohio.  For three days, from evening to evening, on the living room floor.}

The Glory of GOD. - (07- MTV, BLAH, BLAH) -

Imagine a black screen.  In the center is a black globe.

Imagine strings of large green, Hebrew letters, going across the screen, from left to right.

About 10 to 12 lines of them, covering the whole screen.

As they touch the globe, they 'stick' to it, as it rotates from left to right along with them.

And then the strings of letters come back off of it, back out into space.

The letters got small near the globe edges.  I'm sorry that I can't be much more descriptive.

This is the image that I saw in my mind.

When I realized it, it seemed like 3 days had passed, that I had been exposed to it.

(There really isn't anything more that I can add, but I could help a computer artist simulate it.)

(08- Tron Legacy, Disney Castle Intro) -

Not long after this, I started to see meaning in individual letters, in individual letter strokes, and in random patterns.

I also saw messages embedded in all of our words, in all of our sentences, and in all of our languages.

It seemed like GOD was speaking to me, (and to all of us,) from everywhere.

(I can explain the embedded messages further.  It is possible, that HE is.)

I mentioned above that my voice got deeper.  I didn't notice it until Trial 20 below.

But it's possible that it may have occurred as early as here, or at anytime in-between.


* Trial 2:  (Fail)  {November 7th, 2012, evening, walking into the bedroom.}

Hearing JESUS. - (09- Rihanna, Rockstar) -

I thought I heard JESUS.

But it wasn't HIM.  What I heard wouldn't make sense if HE said it.

And, I should've realized it at the time.


* Trial 3:  {Night, in the bedroom.}

The People in the Invisible Box. - (10- Alice In Chains, Nutshell) -

"He's too dangerous to live."

Is what I thought I heard.

I was listening to the thoughts in my head, as though they may be voices, and that's what I heard.

I said, "What do you mean?"

They explained to me, that they were sitting in an invisible box above the earth, watching people.

They said, "You know too much.  It's our job to watch people, and take them out if they get too close to the truth.  I'm sorry, but prepare to die."

I had the very distinct impression, that I was about to get hit by a bolt of lightning.

I was terrified.

I argued for my life.  It went on for awhile.

I explained my experiences in life, and why things went like they did.

They seemed persuaded.  And they said they'd lose my paperwork.

They also said, they could put thoughts in people's heads, and make them do things.

There were 3 people in the box.  The third was a woman, and she didn't talk until much later.


* Trial 4:  (Fail)  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Aliens. - (11- War of the Worlds, Tripod Attack) -

At this point, our conversation changed radically.

They told me they were humans, who were enslaved by aliens.

And that humans were enslaved by aliens, throughout the universe.

And that the Bible was put here by aliens, to control mankind.

They said they had to go, but that they would be in touch, and they wished me luck.

And then they went silent.


* Trial 5:  {Night, in the bedroom, then living room > kitchen > bathroom > bedroom > garage.}

Rescue the Virgin Mother. - (12- Mindless Muse, Hidden Currents of Lux) -

In the Bible, when JESUS leaves, HE says HE'll, "Return in like manner."

JESUS floated up into the air when HE left.  So I always took this to mean HE would return that way.

But the thought came to me, perhaps instead HE meant HE would be born of a virgin again.

There's a certain woman that I find more beautiful than others.  A celebrity.

I thought it was her.  And I thought I was being told to:  Rescue her.

And then take care of her.  And then, raise, HIM.

I heard a Canadian address in my head.  I wrote it down, and I grabbed what I'd need.

I put out food and water for my cat Simon, and then I headed north.

(I drive a 2011 Cyber-Grey Camaro.)

2011 Cyber-Grey Camaro


* Trial 6:  {Night, in the car.}

Unimaginable Pain. - (13- Metallica, No Leaf Clover) -

As I was driving north, I was listening to the voices in my head.

I heard many.

I was still in contact with the people in the invisible box some.

And I thought I was hearing GOD some too.

"You're familiar with MY HOLY SPIRIT."

"If you touch her before I am born, your soul will be spread out across the universe like HIS."

"And it will be an unimaginably hellish pain for eternity."

Is what I heard.  And I was TERRIFIED, of it.


* Trial 7:  (Fail)  {Late night, in the car.}

Devastation and Failure. - (14- Pink Martini, Lullaby) -

The people in the invisible box were directing all of my turns.  They were my navigators.

There were times during the drive we were concerned about being caught.

The aliens wanted her and me dead.  And the people in the box also if they were caught conspiring.

There were times they'd tell me to slow down or speed up or take a turn or wait awhile, to avoid detection.

I was told that there were invisible UFO's everywhere, all over.

I was about an hour inside of Canada, and they told me I was almost there.

And then they said there was a problem.  They were very upset.  It got me upset.

They said we were too late.

We failed.

I shouted, "Tell me where to go right now!  I'm not giving up!"

They said, "You should be seeing it.  It's straight ahead.  It's all over now, we're done for."

They were devastated.  And scared, about what was coming.

"I don't see anything!"

"Keep looking, it's straight ahead.  A blue house."

I saw it.

There was a big firetruck in the street.  To its right were the remains of a blue house.

It was still smoldering.

I cried.

After a very long pause, I said, "Ok guys, we did our best.  What do we do now?"

We were fighting for the freedom of all humans throughout the universe.


* Trial 8:  (Fail)  {It's about 6:00am, it turns from night to early morning, right here, in the car.}

May We Live in Your Heart? - (15- Rise Against, Satellite) -

My friends in the invisible box were telling me they were about to meet a terrible end.

Their alien overlords were on their way to deal with their treachery.

They were going to be horribly tortured to death.

They asked if they could come stay, in my heart.

I'd never heard of this.

They earlier said that the aliens had advanced spiritual knowledge.

They said, "That's how Heaven works.  Everyone there lives in JESUS' heart."

Somehow they had the ability to leave their bodies, and enter hearts.

They all 3 asked, "Can we live in yours?"

I said yes.

(By the way, JESUS said, "Guard your heart above all."  So my answer was the wrong one.)

I felt a difference.  Their voices were inside me now, less broadcast-sounding.

We were happy for a moment.


* Trial 9:  {Around 7:00am, in the car.}

GOD is Dead. - (16- Metaform, In My Mind) -

About this time, a new voice came in my head.

It was a friendly, helpful, and nice voice, and it seemed like a kind and trustworthy spirit.

It told me, "The aliens, using advanced spiritual technology,"

"Found GOD The FATHER, and attacked and killed HIM."

"HE is dead.  I'm sorry."

I was devastated.

After a pause, I said, "What about JESUS, and The HOLY SPIRIT?"

He said, "JESUS is restrained and tormented.  And The HOLY SPIRIT suffers under their oppression."

I said, "Who are you?"

"Call me the old man."

"Normally I'm against HIM.  But WE are in agreement that the aliens must be wiped-out."

"I'll try to help you get back home safely."

Then he was silent.

About 30 seconds later, the J.R.R. Tolkien quote, at the very top of this story, went through my mind.

After all of these events, I had to chuckle.  Then I wondered, if he had any idea, how right he was.

After about another 30 seconds, I watched, as it quickly became night-time again.

I was in a stunned awe.  I wondered what it meant for a second, and I blanked-out for a moment.

(Did it have to do with the news I just received?  Or did it have something to do with the aliens?  Or what?)

About five long seconds later, I looked at the time, and it said PM.

(I simply did not look at the time itself.  From what I saw, I just assumed that it was a 12-hour change.)

There was nothing for me to do, but proceed.

Hello Canada


* Trial 10:  {Night, in the car.}

Forced to Go the Wrong Direction. - (17- Dark Reign 2 Soundtrack) -

At this point, I was trying to drive back home.

It was very dark out.

I had an old map in the trunk.  I checked my map and figured out which way to go.

As I was driving, it looked like the road 'shimmered'.

After awhile, I looked at the signs.  I was going the wrong direction!

So I got that straightened out, and got back going the right direction.

Then, it looked like the road 'shimmered' again.  Like it was blurry for a second.

And, the terrain was looking exactly the same as what I just saw, in the other direction.

And I checked the signs again, and sure as sh-t, I'm going the wrong direction, again.

This happened like 5 times.  Finally, I said screw it, let's see where this takes me.

I end up in a dead end.

I get out of my car.  And I feel really warm.  Like I'm being microwaved.

And then the aliens talk to me in my head.

Apparently, their ship is invisible, and about 40 feet above me.

And they're about to zap me, like they did the blue house.

We have a discussion.  I act like I have no ill-will toward them, although I do.

There is an extremely tenuous peace between us.  They agree to let me proceed home.

I drive toward my house again.

Then I see another shimmer.  The signs say I'm going the wrong way again.

I ask them, "What's up?"

They say, "Go this way."

I end up re-entering the US in New York, instead of Ohio.

So I try to head home from there.

I end up re-crossing the border.  I got flipped again.

So I re-cross back.  And, again!

I have to go through inspections each time.  (There should be records.)

After crossing four times, I finally have no choice but to get going the right way.

I cross back over, above the lake in Canada, and then finally, head south into Ohio.


* Trial 11:  {Night, in the car.}

The Drill Drive. - (18- Portal 2, sp_a2_dual_lasers_r1) -

I was heading back home.

My head was hurting.  Bad.

It felt like my head was being scrambled by a giant invisible drill.

The aliens said they were doing it to me, to extract information, and then to kill me.

For hours and hours and hours.  It was killing me.  My head hurt SO bad.


* Trial 12:  {Daytime, in the car.}

Changing Signs and Curves. - (19- Half Life 2, Nuclear Mission Jam) -

Night had passed, and it was daylight.  My head was still killing me, but I was making it.

The highway was passing through a metropolitan area.

There was some construction.

At first the signs would say certain things.

Then, following signs would say opposing things.

Then, the construction signs were pink instead of orange.

And many of them said odd things, like "GO THIS WAY!!"

Then, I began seeing competing messages!

One set of messages trying to get me to go one way.

And another, trying to help me get to where I was going.

Competing, in real-time, as I moved forward.

And then the road curves changed.

The road would look like it was going to curve right, then when I got there it went left.

Over and over and over again.  Left and right and left and right.

You had to see it.


* Trial 13 (31):  {Daytime, in the car.}

Shut Down and Fry. - (20- Soundgarden, Zero Chance) -

I finally got on open highway again.  The signs were still weird, but I was going straight.

I was under the impression, that a UFO was following me, and was about to attack.

The electronic and analog gauges in my car went berserk.

All of them, including the radio, displayed random information all over.

Also, I watched my fuel gauge needle rapidly fall from 1/3, to nothing, right in front of my eyes.

And then the car died.

I managed to get it off of the highway, to the right.

Before I could get out of the car, I was feeling warm, and I was engaged in a conversation.

The UFO was about to zap me.

I cited scripture.  I said, "No weapon forged against me shall prosper."

The alien laughed, but then his fire button wouldn't work, no matter how many times he pressed it.

He wouldn't leave, and he wouldn't stop trying to kill me, so I threatened him.

I threatened to kill all aliens everywhere, if he didn't stop.  And he didn't.

So I imagined the galaxies filled with alien life, and then me smashing those worlds to bits with my fist, as I hit my center console.

And I believed it happened.

Then, he retreated.

Nobody would stop to help me.

Then I heard another alien voice, this time coming from an invisible box, and he was also trying to kill me.

I imagined smashing the box, but I didn't feel like I could.

So I pushed it into the Sun.

Then, the moment I got out of my car again, someone stopped, and gave me some gas.


* Trial 14 (13):  {Daytime, in the car.}

The Alien Chase. - (21- Quake II, Descent Into Cerberon) -

I thought I heard JESUS again, for the second time.

"Because of the ways the aliens perceive things, and how they react, a fast car can temporarily evade them."

Then the old man comes in my head and chimes in,

"However, you can't go back to your house, or you'll be captured and killed."

"I'll figure out what to do next, and let you know what it is before you get there."

I'm being told to evade UFO's on the highway, by driving fast.

At one point, I was driving 145 MPH.

Thank GOD no one was killed.


* Trial 15 (14):  {Daytime, in the car, then on the train tracks.}

Get Out of Town. - (22- Portal 2, Wakeup) -

The old man says, "WE know what WE need you to do next.  Take this exit."

"Ok, now try to get back on the highway."

I say, "What?  Why didn't I just stay on it?"

He says, "Heh, heh.  You'll see."

I try to get back to the highway.  The road is out in front of me, construction.

I try another way.  I encounter the same again, in a different location.

I do a U-turn in a gravelly area.  I'm concerned about possible pursuers.

I continue to try to get back to the highway, and simply cannot do so.

Road-blocks at every turn.

I see some train tracks, crossing the road.

I hear a voice in my head say, "Yes."

I should've stopped, but I was caught up in what I was going through.

I turned left and drove down the tracks.

At one point I slowed down and then began to get stuck.

I turned right, off the tracks, and my car got stuck hanging halfway off the track.

I tried using some logs to give my tires some traction so I could get off the track.

It didn't work.

Some guy was on the track, about 100 yards ahead.

He wasn't there before.

He came over to me.  I told him I had made a mistake and gotten stuck, and was trying to get unstuck.

He was like, "Alright."  And he went back to where he came from.

While I was trying to free the car, two other guys joined the first one on the tracks.

They started heading my way.  One of them said' "Hey!", as they were coming toward me.

The old man said, "They're going to kill you.  Run."

So I ran.


* Trial 16 (15):  {Daytime, running across a field, then on some other tracks, then in a police car.}

The Train Tracks. - (23- Unreal Tournament 2004, Atlantis) -

I ran across a field.

I saw some other train tracks about 400 yards away.

I heard, "Get there!"


"It's victory."

When I looked again, they were on a small hill.  The hill wasn't there before.

I ran as fast as I could.  I was exhausted.

I looked again.  There were rocks at the bottom of the small hill now.  They weren't there before either.

I kept running to the tracks.

Now, there was a small stream in front of the rocks.  Again, it was also, not there before.

Initially, those tracks were on flat ground.

Police began to chase me, on foot, as I got close.  They told me to stop.

The voice in my head said, "Do not stop!  Get to the tracks!"

I waded the stream, climbed the rocks and the hill, stammered to the tracks, and collapsed.

The voice in my head said, "Victory!"

The police picked me up off the ground, and then I walked to their car.

I asked the police to get my car off the tracks.



* Trial 17 (42):  (Fail)  {The ticket was at 11:56am.  (November 9, 2012.)  I was then taken to a clinic, and then a jail.}

Choices. - (24- Fallout 3 Theme, INON ZUR - FOT 3 MT V6) -

I refused a blood test.  I was later convicted of being under the influence.

But in reality, it was the complete opposite, as I already explained above.

(And frankly, I've gotten so sick of being stabbed by needles while

I was in the Marines, that I really just can't stand them anymore.)

Anyway I was put in a cell with others.  I was uncomfortable around them.

So I made a little noise, so that I would get put in a cell alone.

I did.

(And, I should've just stayed in there.)


* Trial 18 (17):  {This whole cell experience was 3 nights.}

CAEP ON - (25- Max Payne, Main Theme) -

For awhile I got the impression, that words spelled backwards, would be the devil's message.

I looked at words backwards some.  Ignoring mis-spellings, you can make a lot of sense out of that non-sense.

[This experience, was particularly reminiscent of what I'd expect to happen to me if I were lost.

The suffering I experienced at this time, is far greater, than I can begin to express with words.]

The cell I was in was about 7 feet square.  It was painted white cinder-block.

The floor was grey cement.

The three feet at the back of the room was raised about 5 inches, making a bed.

There were several small devices affixed to the ceiling.

The front was a glass door with skinny windows on each side, in a metal frame which was painted light blue.

It smelled like burnt goat-hair.

There was a special kind of filth, in the cell.  A black, soot-like coating, all over.

I got the impression, that each particle was placed specifically where it was, to bother me.

It had some red flecks in it, and it also coated the edges of the windows, as if on purpose.

Every filthy detail, seemed like it was put in place.

The metal frame had satanic messages and symbols scratched all over it, and it was VERY unnerving.

(You know, GOD has had people write messages on door frames, to effect and affect things, also.)

The biggest message was:


There was a 6" metal drain in the middle of the floor.

And it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.


I felt a draft from it.  It felt like it was sucking air.

There was a chair that had an eye drawn on it, outside my cell, that was facing me.

I got the impression that those in Hell could see through such drawings, like cameras.

And that they were watching me.

[Trial 18 (17), CAEP ON, is not over.]


* Trial 19 (16):  {Late afternoon, in the cell.}

Love GOD. - (26- Bach, Air) -

When I was put in the cell, I had 7 to 10 small items on me.

Some toothpaste, a small toothbrush, and some other things.

I was told in my head that these items represented other things.

And that I was to use all of them to effect some kind of spiritual change.

Like voodoo-ers do.

So I followed the instructions I heard, arranging the items on the floor.

My white sheet represented the Firmament.

Some of the pieces represented Persons of GOD.  One the Earth, one Heaven, etc.

I was told to perform an action with them.

And it was to cause creation to be re-made without GOD The FATHER.

I heard in my head, "It's OK."

I refused.

[Back to Trial 18 (17), CAEP ON:] - (27- Max Payne 2, Main Theme) -

I mentioned above that I left my body once.  I did.

I wasn't on any alcohol or drugs or meds.  I wasn't under stress.  I was fine.

It happened, and I still remember it clearly.

When I went to lay down and sleep, I started to feel like my soul was being sucked out of my body.

Into that drain.

I kept feeling like I was slipping toward it, every time I started to fall asleep.

(Which is when your soul leaves your body, by the way.)

To me, the scratched message said two things:



In my mind I saw that drain going to Hades, and the devil was sticking souls into pig hearts.

So I stayed awake as long as I could.

The light was red at night.

When night-time came, I got the impression that the whole facility I was in, was reproduced in Hades.

And I was there.

I felt pain.

It starts, as a feeling in your feet, that goes up to your knees.

It feels like a flame, but instead of hot, it's painful.

When it gets intense, it's your whole body, and most especially your head.

That's how I started feeling.

Looking through the control center, I could see outside a little.

I thought I saw the woman that I was after, on a billboard, that was outside the windows.

I thought I heard the Marines outside.  And they were trying to get in, to rescue me.

They were doing all they could to get in, all night long, but couldn't do so.

I stayed awake that whole night, even though I was exhausted, and the torment I was feeling was becoming intense.

Pain wakes you up, but it doesn't keep you awake.

My head was swimming and spinning.

y O u  C a N ' T  i M a G i N e

.EnAsNi DnOyEb SAW Ti

You've begun.  It only gets worse.

Day came and passed, and I was still hanging in there.  Every moment I was in pure writhing agony.

It was late at night again, and I didn't know how much longer I could last.

(My experience with sleep deprivation during my training was paying off.)

[Trial 18 (17), CAEP ON, is not over.]


* Trial 20 (43):  {Late night, after being in the cell for two days.}

Shouting Through Heaven. - (28- Audioslave, Cochise) -

I mentioned that my voice got deeper.  It was like, for a second time.

It's got reverb now.  Especially in the mornings.  It's weird.  I like it.

I think this happened to me during this time, because I hadn't noticed it previously.

(It's possible, that it happened during Trial 1, or at anytime in-between.)

At one point I shouted, and I got the clear impression, that my words were heard widely in Heaven.


* Trial 21 (41):  {At around 3:00am, in the cell.}

GOD's Rescue. - (29- Unreal Tournament 2004, Onslaught 05) -

I felt that I was under continual, relentless attack.  The torment I was feeling, was extremely intense.

I knew I had to sleep soon.  I had no choice, and also I simply could not stand the pain any longer.

I was still listening to whatever voices I heard in my head.

And then I heard, that GOD The FATHER AND JESUS, THEMSELVES, were going to come rescue me.


Immediately, I heard THEM. THEY, were STORMING through the compound, annihilating opposition.

I heard an INSANE battle.  Epic.  THEY were moving like lightning, and were louder than thunder.

I thought I'd be seeing THEM any moment!

Then I sensed the presence of the devil in my cell.


So I did, as hard as I possibly could, without breaking my foot. It hurt for months after.

It got quiet, and daylight came.

(30- Staind, Not Again) -

Some guards walked by my cell.  Two men and a woman.

I was sure I was in a facility of the devil's.

I said to them, "How's your boss?"

[Let me inject a side note here.

When I lost my mind, I would often gauge my sanity, (and reality,) on the responses I got from other people.]

The woman stopped, looked straight at me, and said:

"He's dead."

And then, she kept on walking.

[The remainder of Trial 18 (17), CAEP ON:] - (31- Max Payne 3, Main Theme) -

I had peace for about an hour.  It was nice.  And then it started again.

I was afraid it would be even worse.  The pain was starting to ramp back up incrementally.

Even though it got really horrible again, thankfully, it was also noticeably weaker.

I slept crunched up as close to the crack under the door, and as far away from that drain, as I could.

The next day I suffered again all day.  I finally couldn't take it anymore.

I made my peace.  I said a long prayer to GOD, and prepared to die.

And possibly face what I was fearing.

I wrapped myself up in my blanket on the bed, and went to sleep.

People woke me up.  The voice in my head said, "Be still, remain silent."

So I did.

They took me to a hospital.  That was my first of two stays.

The first time, I was in three hospitals, ending with the Dayton VA.  The second, just the Dayton VA.


* Trial 22 (18):  {I was transported to the first hospital, in the morning.}

The Devil's Hospital. - (32- Foo Fighters, Exhausted) -

I rested in my new bed, unable to move.  I was feeling better than I had in many days.

I pulled my catheter out, but that was it.  Otherwise I didn't move.  Any, at all.  I was totally thrashed.

I laid in a receiving area for a day and a night.  I mostly slept.  And then I was moved into a room.

As I laid there I recalled all of the events since Trial 1, and before, and tried to make sense of it all.

In addition to being completely frazzled, I was also generally bewildered by all of it.

I tried to make sense of it all day, but I couldn't.  And then the sun started to set.

As I was falling asleep, I thought I saw hospital workers come in my room, and start worshiping the devil.

My eyes were closed, and within myself I heard, "Be still, remain silent.  Do not move."

They were saying all kinds of weird stuff.  Then one said, "Are you awake?"

I didn't say anything.

Then she said, "This will wake him up!"

And then she thumped me, really hard, in the chest.  It hurt a little.

I heard, "Go ahead and wake up."

So I did.

She said, "We were just checking on you, to make sure you're OK!", sarcastically.

And then they walked out, laughing.

When I fell asleep, I thought I was in Hades.

And I thought it was because of what they did.

And I didn't get out, until I woke up.

Re-read those last three sentences.

The next day, I got it in my head, that if I drew a cross on my forehead, I would be protected.

So I did.

And when I went to sleep again, I felt protected.

And I also felt pressure, like I was still being attacked.

I did not go back to Hades that night.

The next day, my Dad and Step-Mom visited me.  {Around 4:00pm, and I MADE them stay with me, past 10:00pm.}

I begged my Dad to get me out of there.

He did.

And he's a hero for it.  {He saw me off, as they began to transport me.}


* Trial 23 (36):  {Night, in the bedroom in the second hospital, in a dream.}

The Devil's House. - (33- Alice In Chains, Man in the Box) -

When I met the devil in a dream,

He lived in a house, located inside an amusement park.

I rode in a red horse-drawn carriage across the park, to get to his house.

He had cigars, a pool table, red carpets, and plush rugs.

He had black and grey hair, looked about 55, and was wearing a red and black smoking jacket.

We talked, and then he put me into another dream.

I was running through a field, and as I looked up, I saw the ground go up in a circle above me.

I was trapped in a bubble, a big sphere, and I couldn't escape.

Running and running, and getting nowhere.

(I later got the impression that reality is actually like this, and is largely an illusion.)


At the third, main, hospital:

There was a very large eye scratched into the wall in my room, next to the door.

Drawing I made at the third hospital


* Trial 24 (29):  {One day while in the third hospital, sometime between 9:00am and Noon.}

Meeting GOD. - (34- Audioslave, I Am The Highway) -

There was another old man.

A nice old man, at the hospital.

His name was Roy.

He looked about 70.  He was about 5' 7", and was bald on top but not the sides.

We'd talk some.  He was a very sweet, kind old gentleman.

One day we were talking, and out of the blue he says,

"I'm GOD."

Surely he/HE wasn't. We/WE were in a mental health facility.

But I can't prove it.

(Some people think King Melchizedek of Salem, was actually JESUS.)


When I Finally Got Home:

I was relieved.

I continued to look at thoughts in my head as voices.

And the 'voices', encouraged me to stop taking the medication,

So that I could hear them better, and follow their instructions.

I did, I did and I did.


* Trial 25 (33):  {About 7:00pm, in the living room, on TV.}

Motel From Hell. - (35- Kiss, Psycho Circus) -

I was watching TV, and I saw a commercial for Motel 6.

At first, the style was like that of AC/DC.  Hellish.

Then, the style was Heavenly.  Really pretty and nice looking.

The Motel 6 commercial changed, during playback.

I saw a line, wipe across the screen, from side to side, as it changed.

From one reality, to the other.

Interestingly, they actually have a commercial, that does that.

Which came out, shortly after I saw that.

And, it is not, what I saw.


* Trial 26 (30):  {Late night, in the bedroom, then the kitchen, then drove to Lebanon early morning.  Returned early evening.}

Stone Age. - (36- Muse, Madness) -

One night late, I got extremely paranoid, that the aliens were fed up with me, and that they were coming to get me.

And as I was thinking this, my power went off.

I looked, and my neighbors had power.  I reset my circuit breakers, and I got no response.

So I thought it was them.

Then the power on my electronic displays, only, on my microwave, oven and coffee-pot, came on.

And they all 3 displayed random garbage.  Which I've never seen, neither before, nor since.

I manually opened my garage door, and went to my Dad's.

I got back home much later, and the power was back on.


* Trial 27 (32):  {Evening, in the family room, on TV.}

Earth Two. - (37- Pink Floyd, Is There Anybody Out There?) -

One time I was watching a cable news channel.

All of a sudden, the people appeared different.

They had sharp teeth, and basically looked like evil clones of us.

Otherwise, everything else pretty much looked the same, as usual.

I saw what looked like an alternate reality of ours, inhabited by demon-like people.


* Trial 28 (c29-27):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Phone Call. - (38- Portal 2, sp_a2_bts3_x1) -

One night when I thought GOD The FATHER was dead, I became extremely distraught over it.

I hadn't heard GOD's voice in my head for quite a long time, and when I tried to hear HIM, I couldn't.

I prayed to my Bible. Which I'd never done before, or since.

And I prayed more ferverently than I ever have.

And then.

It spoke to me.

Loud and clear.

Like a phone.

The voice sounded like more than one voice.

The spirits assured me that GOD was not dead, and that everything was fine.

The Bible functioned, like a phone.

And I was subsequently informed, that they all do.


* Trial 29 (c31-25):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Getting Spinned and Rolled. - (39- Depeche Mode, Personal Jesus (Pump Mix)) -

One night in my bedroom, I thought I was engaged in a conversation with several spirits, and JESUS was there also.

I felt one of them touch me.  I moved.

Then, it was like a wind.

It was pushing me, and it made me turn, and spin around.

Multiple times.  The forces kept coming.

I sat on my bed, and they rolled me over.

Over and over again, until I asked them to stop.

At the end it got frightening.

It felt like I could accidentally get killed, and that I almost did.

The person I thought was JESUS, said, "Ya, WE got a little carried away there."


* Trial 30 (c32-24):  {Night, in the bedroom.  Then the ambulance, the hospital until morning, and then a taxi home.}

The Devil. - (40- Stone Temple Pilots, Down) -

One night when I was trying to go to sleep, it felt like a cat jumped on the bed.

But it actually felt heavier.  For some reason, I imagined a little invisible bull.

Like a foot tall.

It seemed like it was at the foot of the bed.

Then the old man started talking.  I knew he was the devil.

He wasn't as friendly as before.

All of a sudden I couldn't breathe.  I could no longer get air in my lungs.

I tried and tried and couldn't breathe.  I was suffocating.

I called 911.  I never have any other time in my life.

They took me to a hospital.

So actually I went to hospitals a third time, but this wasn't due to insanity, it was because I couldn't breathe.

I have felt the presence of The HOLY SPIRIT since the day I was born again.

And in the Bible concerning GOD It says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

They had me spend the night.  When I woke up,

I felt, what felt like GOD leaving me.

And then I didn't feel HIM like I always do.  HE seemed to have left me.

I was devastated and panicked beyond words.

In the lobby there was a magazine.

On its cover it said, "Born to be Bad!", and it had a picture of a devil.

The next day, I felt The HOLY SPIRIT again.


* Trial 31 (c33-39):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Soul Torn. - (41- Portal 2, sp_under_potatos_v1_01) -

One night, I was laying face-down on my bed.

And then in my head, I heard a discussion start, about me.

It was kind-of muffled, and I couldn't understand them.

About 10 seconds later, I felt like my soul, was being torn in half.

From the bottom, going halfway up.

Like an upside-down Y.

I thought my soul was going to be completely torn in half.

It was very painful, and very scary.

I thought I was going to be worse than killed.

Then it stopped.  Thank GOD.

And as I remember it, I feel the pain again, even now.

It is weird, how it is painful, to remember it.


* Trial 32 (c43-40):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

The Boat. - (42- Foo Fighters, Home) -

In one vision, I was in a boat, with JESUS.

It was a small white boat.  There were a few other people sitting with US.

It was foggy.  It seemed like morning-time.

The waters were really still.

WE were trying to make it across the water, to the other side.

Making it across the water, was making it into eternity.

WE were on OUR way.


* * * 6 - tHe EnD * * * M W A z v x Y l I K E f t j r h n U S C G O Q p d b *

(43- Rihanna, Umbrella) -

Shortly before my Mom died, she told me that she wanted me to quit smoking someday.  I promised her that I would, (because I knew that it was already a part of my goal.)  Boy, did she get a show!  I hope you enjoyed this trip into insanity.  I sure didn't.  But I did it for GOD.  And also others, and lastly myself.  So I'm pleased about that.

Since all of this, I mentioned at the top how I feel.  I used to always drink my coffee with milk and sugar.  For a week or two after I got out of the hospital the second time, when I got up, I would get some black coffee, and sit on a small box by my nightstand.  Then later, I started going out to my computer every day.  I still do.  I finally started adding milk and sugar again yesterday.  It's been 4 years.

I now notice that there seem to be thoughts from the right side of my brain, and from the left side of my brain.  I almost always agree with the right side, and almost never agree with the left.  But it's not absolute on either side.  And I still often hear snaps, clicks and pops when I have thoughts too, but I ignore them.  It's maddening to try to figure out what they might mean.  And GOD will fill me in on all of those details, when I see HIM later.

I don't listen to thoughts, as though they may occasionally be voices, anymore.  It's too dangerous to.  But I still think that some of them may be.  The as-holes at the VA said they'd lobotomize me if I relapsed.  The insanity was caused, by listening to thoughts, as though they may be voices.  And it is ended, by listening to thoughts, as thoughts.

The first 3 methods to hear GOD's voice that are in the story, actually work.  Also, I can provide any additional details that you'd like, and answer any questions about any of it, at all.  Although I went crazy, there are still many, many things that can be discussed about my experience, and learned from it.

I'm very slowly beginning to understand exactly what happened, and I'm waiting on others with knowledge to see and comment.  I think this is the second greatest story ever, and it should be made into a movie.  Please contact me if you can help.  (I like the title 'TRIALS'.  But I was thinking, 'CAEP ON' could work too.  I, don't want to see those words, others, would probably find them intriguing.  I wonder how many people would read them backwards.)

If you'd like to go through these Trials yourself, just do what I did.

Quit sinning, and treat your thoughts as though they may be voices.

That's all it takes.

(Don't do that.)



(57- Enya, Fallen Embers) -

(58- Alice In Chains, Stone) -

(59- Joe Satriani, Ten Words) -

Me, 2005

Me, 2011

(GOD put me through this.  But I volunteered.)


* * * 7 - DeLeTeD rEmAiNdEr * * * m w y V N Z s u c a e g q o D B P R k X H F T i L J *

(44- Audioslave, Light My Way) -

I removed these events to shorten the story.  I've included them, in case you'd like to read them.
(In fact, my total experience was about double, of all that I've been able to get down here.)

If desired, these scenes could be added back in.  (And I could add between several, to many more, also.)

[About the Trial numbers:
The 'Total' Trial number, is the order in which they're presented here;
The 'Chronological' Trial number, is their actual order of occurrence, and;
The 'Original' Trial number, is the order that they were initially presented in.

Trial xx,  xx = the 'Total', 'Chronological' and 'Original' Trial numbers.
Trial yy (xx),  yy = the 'Total' and 'Chronological' Trial numbers, and xx = the 'Original' Trial number.
Trial zz (cyy-xx),  zz = the 'Total' Trial number, yy = the 'Chronological' Trial number, and xx = the 'Original'.]


* Trial 33 (c28-28):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

The Ascended.  [Previously removed to shorten story.] - (45- Half-Life 2, Radio 1) -

Another night, when I still thought GOD was dead,

I thought I saw Heaven, and there were 17 people, who were sitting on top of tall poles.

They were called the Ascended, and they were the elite ones in Heaven.

People who in life, achieved tremendous spiritual accomplishments.

GOD was dead, and they were in charge.

I tried to talk with them, and they were jerks.

It was a weird thought, and a weird experience.

It was sad thinking that this was our new leadership.


* Trial 34 (c30-37):  {Night, in the living room.}

Judgment. - (46- The Campaign, Dinner Scene) -

One night I was reminded of all of the bad decisions I've made in my life.

I felt like I went through a judgment.


* Trial 35 (c34-22):  {Night, in the living room.}

Dust. - (47- Portal 2, background03) -

Once I got the impression, that if you were going to Hell, what would happen is,

You would be zapped with so much electricity, that it would reduce you to a piece of dust.

Then you'd float down to earth, and become part of our dirt.

It was a terrifying thought.


* Trial 36 (c35-23):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Night Club.  [Previously removed to shorten story.] - (48- AC/DC, Walk All Over You) -

There was a Night Club in Heaven.

And the souls of 144 lost, were trapped in the dance floor.

Forced, to look upon those in Heaven, dancing on top of them.

For eternity.

It was a very scary, unsettling, unnerving and uncool thought.


* Trial 37 (c36-19):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

The Monster in the Dark. - (49- Soundgarden, Limo Wreck) -

One night I was envisioning Heaven in a way that felt like I was actually looking at it.

And I saw overwhelming darkness.

In the darkness there was a Monster.  It was massively-huge.

And extremely, terrifying.

It was like a black ghost, with a terrifying face.

Anything, would run from it.

Everything, would run from it.

I got the impression, that this was JESUS.

And that this was how HE appeared to those not ready for HIM.

And, that if you would be brave enough to go up to HIM, you would enter Heaven.

(But, no one, would be.)

It was a very, frightening vision.


* Trial 38 (c37-20):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

The Countless Souls in the Dark. - (50- Soundgarden, Room A Thousand Years Wide) -

Another time I envisioned the spiritual realm, I saw an endless, huge black lake.

It was filled with souls, that only attacked each other.

It never ended.

They came from infinite repeatings of creation.  Over and over and over.

In an attempt to achieve something.

It was again, very terrifying.


* Trial 39 (c38-21):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

The Hooks.  [Previously removed to shorten story.] - (51- Alice In Chains, Hollow) -

One time I envisioned Heaven, and I saw a large dome, with three hooks hanging from the ceiling.

And GOD was hanging from the hooks. And in each hand, HE had a person.

And each person had another person in their hand.

And there were 6 long strings of people.

And that was everybody that was in Heaven.

What a strange concept of Heaven.

Loving, yet at the same time, a little unsettling.


* Trial 40 (c39-26):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Life Books. - (52- Joe Satriani, Up in Flames) -

One night I saw GOD, sitting at a large desk, with piles of books on it.

There were also shelves and shelves of books.

GOD was writing in one.

He was writing the future of someone.

And HE showed me, that everyone has their own book.

And HE writes in them all, every day.

HE got frustrated, and tossed the book HE was working on into HIS fireplace.

And that person died, right then.


* Trial 41 (c40-34):  (Fail)  {Night, in the living room.}

Die for Others. - (53- The Elder Scrolls III Morrowind Theme) -

At one point, I imagined a very tall tower.  The tallest ever.

And JESUS, was at the top.

HE wanted to come down, to the Earth.

But HE said HE couldn't, until I was gone.

Meaning dead.

So I had to go, so HE could come down.

I, didn't want to.


* Trial 42 (c41-38):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Secret Message. - (54- Alice In Chains, Check My Brain) -

There's a book called The Bible Code.

Prophecies for many modern-day events have been found hidden in the Bible, by computers.

Really.  And all kinds of other information.

Did you know that JESUS' 'actual' birthday, was on the 1st of Tishri?  That fact is in there.

Biblical scholars have always generally figured that the Messiah would have been born on that day.

Because it's prophetically appropriate.

In 2001, that day fell on September the 11th.

Anyway, one night I got it in my head, that there must be a Master Key.

A simple key, could possibly translate the entire Bible, into an entirely new message.

A Part Two.

Straight from GOD.  (WHO is omnipotent.)

Discovered by man, when he's ready.

If we can encode, and GOD has been encoding, why not?

I would not be completely surprised, if such a thing was eventually discovered.


* Trial 43 (c42-35):  {Night, in the bedroom.}

Future Travel. - (55- Enya, Willows On The Water) -

I pictured long tubes between Heaven and Earth.

People would enter either end, and then come out on the other.

Their flesh would be added to them, or removed from them, as they went.

Like clothing.

Wild imagination.


* * * 8 - cLoSiNg * * * J L i T F H X k R P B D o q g e a c u s Z N V y w m *

(56- Foo Fighters, Stranger Things Have Happened) -

If you liked my story, please remember to share it with all of your friends!

Various formats, such as eBook, can be downloaded from Smashwords:

The LATEST VERSION of this, will always be here first, at WritersCafe:

(And then uploaded to Smashwords, about an hour later.)

And then, at Booksie:

Just email me, for an email version.  It has the pictures too.

It was some trip.

GOD bless all of you!



I'd appreciate it, if someone would scrape off and re-paint, the cell door frame.  And clean the drain, and the whole cell.  Spare others those things.  (And for me, say a prayer while you're in there, to clean it out.  In JESUS' Name.)

See the most beautiful girl in the world here! -

Version 1.05, 10/10/2016. - (1.03 + Musical Accompaniment 1.01 + Extremely minor changes.)

© 2016 Stephen D. Summers. All Rights Reserved.


© Copyright 2018 Silencerr. All rights reserved.

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