girl in white

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Religion and Spirituality  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is a piece when i faced my darkest hour. that time in our lives, when we fall down this hole and we try to get back up.

Submitted: September 21, 2016

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Submitted: September 21, 2016

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The girl in white I see a girl in white staring at me, telling me something that I fail to see. Burning for her knowledge, passion and light.her silence begins but I understand her tearful eyes. Her silence is not silence for it tells me what I need to know. Confined by the walls built in my mind. I need to let go. She tells me to scream, scream out loud and let the truth be free and stand up and be proud.

Conflicted and confused about the life I should lead.I call myself a saint to society but I confess impurity behind closed doors. The thought of lust manifests itself, making me doubt my beliefs so I bleed. My love is a dream, a fantasy I created and the reality is that my love does not exist. The fact is no one in this world can measure up to the creation I have bought into. The scary part is I am never going to love anyone because I fucked myself over by giving life to something that is nothing but a made up memory.

I sin more than I should by my swearing and having vicious thoughts. I pray to God for his forgiveness, his help and his guidance but how can I call upon his name if I am the one who is not ready for the change. I care about peoples opinions but I need no ones opinions but my own. I'm so fucken indecisive. I am a hypocrite by following a society I disapprove of. A deceitful son of a bitch towards nature. For doubting myself and for worrying about a past that does not worry about me.

Gone. Finished. Done. Reborn so I can believe.

My walls come crashing and through the destruction I find solace and the meaning behind the chaos. Believe in where there is no belief and I shall say I am human. For no truth is worth a lie. The devastation caused a chained reaction and monument called me is turned to dust. Reborn from the ashes and the rescurrection of my new sun to claim its place among the clouds of thought. From this sun I will find my enlightenment and knowledge so that I can now begin to heal.

I see a girl in white staring at me only to realize that girl is me.


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