Yesterday News Report on Liberals

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is my project. It was kind of rushed, bu tell me what you think about it, and try to guess the grade I will get!

Submitted: September 25, 2016

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Submitted: September 25, 2016

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Yesterday News Report on Liberals

Anchor 1 played by: Bruvton

Anchor 2 played by: Nadaacis

 

B: Hello, and welcome to Yesterday News. Today, we have the latest news on the Liberal Party of Canada.

N: We don’t actually have any news on the Liberal Party of Canada.

B: We don’t? Why not?

N: Mr. Boss Man told us to do a simple report on the Liberals. We don’t need any news, just information.

B: Yeah, I knew that all along. *Whisper to Nadaacis* We aren’t live, are we? Do I get a retake?

N: Anyway, this is a report on the mystical magical realm of the Liberal Party of Canada.

B: You already said that.

N: Not that exact thing!

B: yeah, but we already new that. Anyway, here is future us on a report on…

N: They know what this report is about.


 

N: Hello. This is future us continuing our…

B: Please don’t say what we are reporting. Everyone knows. Anyway, did you know that the Liberals were the first party ever in Canada?

N: Yes, I did.

B: I was talking to the audience. The Liberal Party was formed in 1867. That’s almost 150 years of them running! They have dominated Canadian government for 69 years in the twentieth century, causing them to be the party that has led the longest in any developed country.
N: Absolutely. And handsome Justin Trudeaeaeeuuuueeuuuu… is running it! He was also considered the “hottest nation leader in history”!

B: Some of the wonders that this party approve are free universal healthcare…

N: The pension plan, which gives you money once you’ve retired…

B: Canadian student loans…

N: Peacekeeping.

B: Multilateralism, which is teaming with multiple countries to solve a problem…

N: Official bilingualism and biculturalism…

B: And intrenchment of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

N: Aren’t there more?

B: Yes, but I think the audience got bored.

*grasshopper noises in the background*

N: This group is slightly more towards government control…

B: Which can be good because it supports Canadians if the need to be supported.

N: Anyway, let’s get to the fact of how a bill is made. It’s quite a task.

B: Let’s take a look at this law being made:

 

Prime Minister to cabinet: You know, I think that it should be illegal to scare the queen. You know, she looks like she’ll die any second, and scaring her might give her a heart attack…

Random person: Sir that’s a kitchen cabinet.

PM: I knew that. *Turns around, repeats sentence*

Cabinet: Sure. That is a great bill. We shall forward that to the House of Commons.

FIRST READING

Presenter to House of Commons: So, the cabinet has made a bill that enforces the fact that it is illegal to scare the Queen in any way. Read it over and we’ll debate at the next reading.

SECOND READING

Presenter for House of Commons: Ok, the cabinet has made a bill that enforces the fact that it is illegal to scare the Queen in any way. Do we all agree that this should be a law?

Person from House of Commons: OMG but this that, bla bla bla…

Different person from House of Commons: What you just said makes no sense.

Person from House of Commons: that’s what the script said…

Other person from House of Commons: No! It didn’t mean that you should say that exact same thing! It meant that you were debating about it!

Person from House of Commons: Oh. Well, I’m debating for whether or not we should keep this bill.

Other person from House of Commons: We should keep it.

Person from House of Commons: I agree. Let’s vote on it.

COMMITTEE STAGE

Presenter for House of Commons: Yeah, the cabinet has made a bill that enforces the fact that it is illegal to scare the Queen in any way. Are we going to change this bill?

MP: I disagree that it is illegal to scare the Queen any way, because you might just be a really scary dude, or she might have seen you in a dream, and thought that you were a demon of some sorts, or…

Senator: Yeah, and you might just scare her by accident from sneezing really loud or something, or your car might backfire, and she might think that she has been shot...…

MP: Yeah. That sounds good. But I think that you should only be charged if the Queen suffers any medical problems or injuries ar stuff like that.

Senator: How about NOOOOO!!! That would mean that people could still scare and embarrass the Queen publically, so if you purposely scare the Queen at all, you should be charged. You want to settle this like a man, though? Meet me tomorrow right here for the report stage and we’ll have a vote.

Presenter for House of Commons: We will now hear the opinion of citizens and experts.

Random citizen: You know, I agree that this should be a law. Yeah.

Medical Expert: According to extensive research, it has been studied that people as old as the Queen are very easily scared, and scaring them will cause heart problems that are fatal and lead to sure death and destruction and explosions of worlds and dimensions!!! MWUAHAHAHA!!!!

REPORT STAGE

Person from House of Commons: So, now that new undebated amendments to this new bill, we must now debate El Changerios.

Other person from House of Commons: The what?

Person from House of Commons: The changes. Who votes that if you accidentally scare the Queen, you are aren’t charged?

*All but one raise their hands*

Person from House of Commons: And who agrees that the person should only be charged if the Queen gets injured?

*One person raises their hand*

Other person from House of Commons: Maybe if you scare the Queen, you get minimum of five years in prison.

Person from House of Commons: Minimum five years? That’s a lot!

Other person from House of Commons: Well, what if the Queen dies? That would be a worldwide tragedy! Who votes that if you scare the Queen you get minimum of five years in prison?

*Barely over half of the people raise their hands*

Person from House of Commons: So, it’s official. If you accidentally scare the Queen, you aren’t charge, you don’t need to injure the Queen to get charged, and, sadly, if you scare the Queen, you get a minimum of five years in jail.

THIRD READING

Person from House of Commons: Okay, supports the bill that it is illegal to purposely sare the Queen, and if you do, you get minimum of 5 years in jail?

*Everyone raises their hands*

Person from House of Commons: That was easy. Our job here is done. We must forward this to the senate.

 

Bruvton: So, that was basically the whole process. After that first part of the bill processing, they do that whole procedure again but in the Senate instead, and then let the House of Commons see the changes that the Senate made, and then it gets royally signed and approved to become a law.

Nadaacis: In the bill shown above, the Senate decided that it was stupid to arrest someone for five years for merely scaring the Queen, so that was taken out. The bill ended up becoming a law anyway, though.

B: And now “Every one who willfully does an act with intent to alarm Her Majesty” is listed under the section Prohibited Acts in The Criminal Code Of Canada.

N: That law has actually been in action since 1842, but it hasn’t really been enforced, because no one really feels a need to scare the Queen.

B: Although the minimum amount of time that you could have been arrested did not stay at 5 years, you can still go to jail for up to 14 years for this whimsical act.

N: The reason that this law was passed was for the health and safety of the Queen.

B: Because the Queen is as old as your mom…

N: That’s immature.

B: She could suffer from heart problems or other bodily malfunctions.

N: It states that you cannot alarm the Queen or break the public peace, and that you cannot cause bodily harm to the Queen.

B: The law also represents that we care about and respect the Queen of England. She is on the $20 bill, don’t you know.

N: This helped Canadians not need to worry about someone accidentally killing the queen by pretending to be Freddie Kruger. I’m pretty sure that Canadians don’t want their Queen to die such a stupid death.

B: Some people don’t want this law because it seems useless. I mean, who wants to scare the Queen? And, also, what would happen if there was a younger Queen and their kids decided to pull a prank and scare her? Would those Princes and Princesses go to jail?

 

B: And that wraps up our report on Liberals. They like change, equality, and human rights…

N: And have a really hot Prime Minister.


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