Ambien

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a short story on how the sleep medication AMBIEN can affect a struggled mind.

Submitted: September 27, 2016

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Submitted: September 27, 2016

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Ambien

I’ve always had them. The  discrete compulsive feeling of euphoric destruction What I want slamming up against what is right. It's something i've learned to accept but hide.

My father always knew something was dark inside of me. Living in Alaska you are presented  the opportunity to go out on a lake with a beer in hand and catch as much fish as you want. Also, living in Alaska you have the opportunity of picking between several lakes or the ocean. My father and I would go out on Thomas Lake every Saturday morning at six A:M sharp. No Acceptions. He started to take notice when i would get excited every time he would hand me a fish to kill. I couldn't help it. It intrigued me so much to hold a life in your hand and to diminish that life enough to the point where that life is no more.

You can say that little bit of light left in me  vanished when my father passed. Fucking cancer. A Desert Storm veteran who watched his whole company get whipped out in front of him, Dies to something stupid like cancer. Ridiculous. After he passed, the inner darkness  fully capacitated my body. And it felt…. Amazing.

It's been 7 years Since my Father has passed.  It's just me and my mother now. She works at a local jewelry store where she makes all the jewelry presented. I Work down the road at a shitty 1-7 shift at the local gas station. The smell of my bosses musk has permanently stained my nose as if I worked in a brothel. But the lack of female presence in the store changes that comparison real quick.  Everyday my mother and I wake up, eat breakfast together, say our goodbyes and go to work. It's a very mundane lifestyle.

I was on my way to work when my next door neighbor's dog attacked the fence to bark annoyingly  at me. I kicked the fence to shut up the ferocious chihuahua and it kept barking. I fucking hate that little piece of shit. Every goddamn day he does the same thing. When my neighbors got that dog, I  thought it was cute. Its floppy ears and innocent size. Until I got older and realized little dogs are spawns from hell that deserve to be drowned in holy water. Don't get me wrong I love dogs. BIG dogs. The ones  you can't kick across a football field.  

I continued on my way down the endless road to work. As I got down the street I passed my moms best friends house,  Claire. She's the type of woman who will make you cookies and then ask for money afterwards. Her and her husband just moved from Ohio just a couple months ago. They are still moving in. STILL. Every week another U Haul parks in the driveway and the two  henchmen looking guys  get out and unload all their precious cargo.  My mother is always over there. Before they moved to here in Alaska, my mother had the option of having a social life with the cat lady across the street or the annoying morgans down the road. Now that My mom has someone relatively close to her age,She's been helping them move in. The only time my mother is home is breakfast and when she sleeps. I gave Claire a half- assed smile and wave while she flagged down the U Haul driver to park on the street instead of the driveway. After I swallowed my anger, I continued on my way.

I finally got to work and started the long shift. As hours passed on, the clock disappeared and I became more and more angry. Just endless moments of staring at the condiment aisle wishing for someone to try to rob me. Endless hours hoping that Jim Conley will finally come in, Buy his last bottle of jack, And get in his car and crash into the neighboring gas station. Big time drinker that man is. Makes Charlie sheen look like a kid on the playground that just licked the top of his ice cream to hard. He's the type that denies he's an alcoholic too so it makes it even better for him to disappear.

Finally my boss let me go and I started the endless walk home. I couldn't help to think about banging his head against the ketchup aisle so no one knows its blood. But I thought about it and I want people to see my artwork. I pushed the thought away and continued the walk.

As I approach my house I started the  evening  ritual of kicking of the fence to shut the dog up. I looked in my driveway to see if my mother was home. Of course she wasn't, she was at claire's house. I swallowed my anger and proceeded to my front door. After I got into my chamber of loneliness and solitude, I layed in bed and did the usual recap of the day.  Stupid fucking chihuahua, that evil bitch down the road that takes my mother away from me most of the day everyday, the town drunk, my boss, and my mother. Same recap as the day before. When I told you my life is very mundane, I meant it.  

I usually can't sleep most of the nights. I've learned to get the usual 5 hours of sleep. I've tried every  single over the counter sleep medicine and nothing has worked. My mother always tells me we should take me to the doctors to get prescribed some type of heavy duty sleeping medication.( Ambien) But I don't like the effects of ambien. It takes control and makes you do stuff that you won't remember. On March 29, 2009, Robert Stewart, 45, stormed into the Pinelake Health and Rehab nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina and opened fire, killing eight people and wounding two. Stewart’s apparent target was his estranged wife, who worked as a nurse in the home. She hid in a bathroom and was unharmed. Stewart was charged with eight counts of first-degree murder; if convicted, he could face the death penalty. Even though there was evidence that Stewart’s actions were premeditated , Stewart’s defense team successfully argued that since he was under the influence of Ambien, a sleep aid, at the time of the shooting, he was not in control of his actions. Instead of the charges sought by the prosecutors, Stewart was convicted on eight counts of second-degree murder. He received 142 – 179 years in prison.

Later that night i went to my kitchen and got some water to quench the thirst in my mojave desert of a mouth. I opened the cupboard to grab a cup and saw a small orange  translucent bottle with a white constructed top. My  mother ignored my urgency to not take the drug and got it prescribed to me anyways. Hey one time wouldn't hurt right? I would take the drug, see the effects, and base if I should take them off of this one experience. Only if I had listened to my gut and just stayed away from it. My mother would still love me if i did.

I carefully opened the child safety lock on the bottle and poured a couple out. I picked my tool of destruction and placed the remaining pills back in the bottle and closed it. I grabbed the glass cup that was nearest to me and proceeded to the sink. I filled up my cup and downed the small flesh colored pill and layed in my comfort.

In surprisement, it worked. I was fully knocked out and I actually had a dream. Not sleeping as much as i did you never dreamt. Dreaming was such a rare occurrence that I honestly forgot the feeling. This wasn't a normal dream. I can see so clearly. I was in control of my dream. I felt the imaginative power coursing through my veins. This dream land was my canvas and I held the paint. Did Ambien really take you to this Power land where you can do whatever?! What have I been missing! It wasn't the power that was most exciting, it was what i can do with the power that excited me most. I couldn't act upon my impulses to deconstruct, disembowel, and reconstruct everyone around me. Well, only when i'm dreaming of course.

I woke up that morning feeling full and disappointed to be back in reality. The feeling I get when i'm asleep with my little power starter in a firmly pressed pill actually makes me happy. I'm not happy in this reality of mine. I NEED the power again. I WANTED the power. I jumped out of my bed and proceeded on to the kitchen to revamp the felling of last night. When i got out of bed everything was a little hazy still from the ambien. As i passed in between my dining room table and my kitchen counter and wobbled a little bit striking my hip bone. I fell to the ground screaming thinking of a thousand other ways to wake up. I got up in mighty anger and slammed my cupboard door open, grabbed a cup, filled it up, and proceeded to my room. I took a pill out, downed it, and shut my eyes. This time I felt the power even more. Everything Was more clear. Instead of waking up in a world i do not know of, I woke up in my bedroom. The dream has shaped my inner conscious realm and used it to its advantage. I began my dream.

I went out my house and started walking straight down the road. Before it can even try I grabbed that fucking dog and strangled it until one last yelp came out. I Threw the carcass on the front porch of their house and continued on.

I went to my god forsaken job did exactly what i've been wanting to do for a long long time. I grabbed the poorly crafted pocket knife that we keep behind the counter, and the table salt. I waited for my boss to come to work. As soon as he walked through the back door I kicked  his knees knocking him the the ground. Then I grabbed the nearest heaviest object( which happen the be the cash register and started knocking him unconscious. I tied him up and waited, waited for the enjoyment.

He finally opened his eyes and seemed astonished. He was asking what's going on and why am I doing this, blah blah blah blah. The only thing i said was…….”thank you”. I made one big gash in the center of his chest followed by smaller ones around it. Once he got down getting used to the pain from  me cutting him, I poured the entire thing of salt onto his chest. Ohhhhh the screams were music to my ears. After he let out his last breath, I took the memories and carried on.

As I was making my walk back home stopped outside Claire's house. She always take my mother away from me. I NEED to change this I thought. I progressively moved towards the house and her husband Tommy answered the door. I told him I need to come inside and talk to him about something really important. As soon as you walk into their house there's a championship bowling ball they always brag about. So as soon as I walked in I grabbed that fucking thing and smashed it up against his head until you can see the blood on the family photos. After I was done with Tommy I stood over the lifeless body and evaluated the situation. Tommy Was just a distraction. He was going to get in the way, I had to do what I had to do to get to my main goal; Claire. As i look over tommy's crushed body I noticed a few number of bones stick out of his neck. The collar bone. Strong enough to penetrate into the human spine.

Clair was hanging a photo putting together a room in the upstairs section of the house.  I Forced the the shiny white piece out of Tommy's neck followed by blood splatter as a result of an artery being exposed. I proceeded up the stairs and found out which room she was in. There Was a underglow of the bathroom door  so I started walking towards. I heard a faint sound of something dropping in the next room over so i stopped in my tracks i went to the room. When i went into the room she had her back turned to me because she was hanging up a photo. I took her husband's collar bone and thrusted it into her spine paralysing her. As she layed there, confused and scared, blood started to rush out of her back. I took the same bowling ball and dropped on here one by one starting at her feet. I would slowly move forward until all of her body was completely crushed. As she took her last breath I had a feeling satisfaction. I moved her body and laid in her blood that was the result of my festivities. I hear the bathroom door open. By the time I heard the bedroom door was already opening. It was my mother, I wasn't dreaming….

 


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