Combinations of Words Never Before

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 01, 2016

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Submitted: October 01, 2016

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Light & Shallow
 
Sometimes I read a poem
someone wrote
and think,
"You think anyone cares??"
"It's art.
You attach the meaning..."
OK...
You...
have depression?
But you totally don't.
It says right here.
Or,
no,
it does say you're depressed.
?
Or you were!
Oh, shit, find something good to say!
I don't want people to think I'm a negative person.
Um.
I can see you're really good
at
making people not think 1 thing.
"Do you understand it?
...
"Ha. You don't understand it."
OK, bitch...
How bout you just fucking tell me what's going on better.
With actual fucking sentences.
"It's left open
so everyone might experience it differently.
I want to people to learn what it means for them..."
OK...
"It's OK if you don't understand..."
?
OK...
Oh, I understand it...
 
No, I don't.
 
For every artist in New York City,
there is someone in another part of the country
trying so desperately to figure out what they mean.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Michael Bay
 
Don't you hate when people
talk in gray-scale.
Don't you hate that?
Don't you just want to slap them?
I don't condone violence against harmless depressed people
but,
don't you want to just slap them?
Fuckin chump.  Get excited!
Nah, man, they're cool...
They spell "gray" with an "e".
You know someone's watched a couple British shows
when they spell "gray" with an "e".
"Grey" scale.
Oh, so posh.
But not really!
"I thought the Transformer films...
I thought the Transformer films
were just
too busy
to be viable
as a relatable, possible
universe
in string theory."
*slap* That damn craft brew out of their hands.
I love craft brew by the way.
"People are dyin out there, dammit!
And you're over here talkin about
Michael Bay
and
some other smart person shit
I don't know anything about!
Actin like you know stuff...
Then you'd know!
That's what Michael Bay
wants!
That's the type of movies
he wants to make!
You ain't like everybody!
When I'm feelin like that,
that's the type of movie I want to see, bitch!
"Don't say bitch..."
You're right...
"It attempts to devalue women."
...
I said you're right...
?
Besides,
I wasn't talking about women,
I was talking about you.
 
Like, I don't care
if you don't feel an enthusiasm for something
other people typically do,
but just SHYUT up...
Just SHYUUUT up.
Even Chewbacca Mom--
Yo, fuck, Chewbacca Mom--
I ain't even talkin to you right now--
And I'm about to contradict myself--
But, fuck, Chewbacca Mom. She don't
need all that money.
She got scholarships out of that shit!
That shit.
What do you mean? That shit?
I ain't even gonna tell you.
Just look it up if you don't know what Chewbacca mom is all about.
And you're not.
No one ever looks up, or checks out,
any song, or wikipedia page,
anyone ever in public tells them to look up.
So let's just stop with that, OK??
No, I'm not going to look up
the Hummmramalamadingdong  culture
in the West Andies.
when I get home.
No offense to any Humramalaladong reading this...
 
But, anyway, back to Chewbacca Mom...
Back to Chewbacca mom...
It's not even about Chewbacca Mom, what I'm talking about.
It's about all the depressed people out there
who it,
"It just, made their day..."
Yeah.
...
"It's the little things..."
...
Yeah?  You're probably depressed.
You know what makes my day?
Learning about
the Humlalaramadong,
hip-hop,
and comic book movies
from moustache and mocchiato afficianados.
That really brings joy to me.
Doesn't mean I'd give that person a scholarship if I could.
Clearly, that person is well-versed.
You've "already got a degree and you're not using it," yeah, yeah...
Thanks.
For something that has nothing to offer to this conversation.
Yeah, I'm gonna solve that crisis.
Pretty sure, you should just
start a business
with your degree.
What's stopping you?
Other things that make my fucking day...
Seein bad asses succeed.  Risin up,
and succeeding.
Opening businesses.
People getting scholarships.
Whose parent didn't
make a video
of themselves laughing
in a parking lot
and "didn't care what people think..."
Like, how, difficult of a time
do you have to be going through right now,
or Hallmark,
does your life have to be
to think giving Chewbacca Mom
a fucking inch
is a good idea.
What did she do??
You'd think
after getting scholarships
for your whole family
you'd just...
chill.
?
You might,
I don't know,
refuse
these clearly
over-the-top
gestures.
But...
When you're hot you're hot.
A black man shot
5 police officers
during a Black Lives Matter protest.
Chewbacca Mom sang
Michael Jackson's
"Heal the World"
on YouTube.
Chewbacca Mom
was like that new person at a party
who tells really funny jokes,
and then  later on a fight breaks out
and that person thinks
they can use their newfound respect
to corral it.
"Stop it!"
"This isn't about you!"
 
"You're for sales!
"And web traffic!
"Know your place..."
Never heard from her again...
Got too greedy...
 
"You're a pawn..."
 
But you enjoy your children
not having to pay for college. K?
 
Cus you put on a fuckin mask...
in a Kohl's parking lot...
You deserve it!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You Sound Pissed
 
1
People like laughing.
And smiling.
I don't know what it is about Americans
and smiling.
Like, no one here will think you're happy,
unless you're smiling.
Does that happen anywhere else?
I don't know.
But it happens here.
I'm not saying it's the strangest thing,
I mean, I get it. But
come on.
You know what I'm talking about?
I can't go around smiling from ear to ear,
all day, like I went to a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon
and told them to give me that
Joan Rivers look.
2 problems with smiling all the time.
People are bound to think I like something
I don't.
And 2, you ever tried to talk when you're smiling?
It's fucking hard!
I don't know how Joan Rivers did it.
But, anyway, I'm lucky.
When I don't smile, people don't think much of it.
Usually.
But with women, it's like...
I hear all these double standards that are perpetuated
all the time, and 1 of them is
about women smiling...
And god forbid our women stop smiling...
But, you know what I'm talking about?
Resting Bitch Face?
Yeah.
Pretty clever name.
It's got a ring to it.
Easy to remember.
But what must that be like.
It's got to suck.
You feel like yourself,
and people tell you look pissed.
But you're not!
It must be something like
your having a good day,
everything's going fine.
Your not like, swimming.
It's not like Beyonce just realeased a new single, or something.
You're just middle.
Prrretty middle.
Things are going good,
*movie trailer voice* then all of a sudden...
It's lunchtime and
you go to one of the food truck trailer things
you see unhitched downtown
with people working inside of them,
cooking and making food. *
And you tell them what you want,
and the person you told your order to
goes
*rolls their eyes*
"OK..."
like,
"Whoah, bitch...
"You see this bitch?
"Ho-hooo...
"She come up here, askin for a Reuben...
"OK..."
They pick up their knife and start cutting your food
with a face like...
*"bitch face"*
they got a resting bitch face! 
And you're like, ?
What is going on?
*movie trailer voice* Then you remember...
You're a woman.
And you didn't smile. *
"No, you don't have to smile--" People will tell you.
"It's the tone.  The tone of your voice."
...
People are fragile...
No, it's the way that we talk...
 
2
You ever done this?
I hope I'm not the only 1 because I'd feel shitty. But
you ever be talking with a person
who you think,
might be upset
about something
irrationally.
And you think,
what is it
I'm doing?
Maybe it's me, you know?
You're cool. You know you're a human.
So you start goin through scenarios, like,
oh... Yep. Put on deodorant today...
Think about your facial expression.
Nope, looking good...
Um...
Nope. I'm listening
to what they're saying...
...
Couldn't be me!
Anyway, it's really not you...
So you stop wondering and
go back to the conversation.
But then, it happens again.
You say that look in their face,
you hear that tone in their voice.
And you tell yourself,
this person, really,
doesn't mean
what
I think they mean.
...
But then I'm like,
who am I,
to tell them
what they mean.
Maybe they really are
trying to come across that way.
*disguised skeptic face*
No...
*relaxes*
...
And then,
it happens again.
OK, bitch...
Something deep inside you goes--
*Michael Bay dramatic eyebrow raise*
You wanna play hardball...
You get all righteous and use words like "hardball."
Let's... play.
You get a little bit of
an attitude.
Ain't gonna let you
walk all over me!
No...
So you start mixin in a little
passive aggression.
Yeah.
Maybe, start playin dumb
to make them fell like
they out of touch.
Yeah.
Raise your eyebrows
waay
up on your forehead
and freeze em there
when they say something that makes sense.
But not in this conversation!
Motherfucker!
Dumbass!
Yeah.
And this is the point
where
you realize they haven't
said anything wrong
for like 30 seconds,
and you've been puttin way too many drops of venom
in your responses.
They realize it.
Think,
this person's gettin tough with me!
For no reason!
And now,
they get more righteous,
and start whoopin yer ass!
Stomp a foot like-- oh,
I'm not wrong...
I'm just readjusting my stance...
Do you mind?
Because the parts where you talk
in this conversation
are such an inconvenience!
Your tones fucked up!
You realizin I'm mad?
Yeah?
You gettin upset?
Jeez.
Calm down... Baby...
They tell themself,
"Maybe it's all in my head..."
and lay off.
Yeah.
That's right!
Showed you. Got out of that one.
Fuck you.
 
"Listen, here, motherfucker!"
"Oh, no, no, no!"--
*wagging finger*
 
Sorry I noticed you sounded
pissssssed.
 
Anyway that conversation goes down,
just remember,
they were pissed.
And were totally
NOT
pissed.
 
They were...
 
When someone else is pissed
and I'm not
I'm like,
"Jeez, what is wrong with that guy..."
But when I'm pissed,
I'm like,
"Motherfucker,
get that stupid ass look off your face
and keep it moving..."
 
3
For men, when they're not smiling,
its like,
it's not that he's upset...
He's just thinkin!
Or... "He's in the zone."
"Focused!"
You know?
Women?
"Bitch."
Man?
*nods slowly with eye contact in agreement*
"I like this guy."
Woman?
*scoff*
*double take* (give her a chance to redeem herself)
"Bitch."
Man? *manly face*
"Mm-hmmm, that's right."
*manly face ...slowwwly turns into a smile*
*freaked out* "Ah!"
 
4
I don't have to 
put on a fake,
happy exterior
for these strangers
If I'm not feeling well,
I don't give a fuck!
Ope, sorry,
you caught me
doing me...
I never see the people I see at stores
ever again.
Oh, hey, you were at that express lane
5 days ago
buying bananas...
How'd that go?
How you been...
It doesn't matter if I'm
feelin blue
around people in public.
Sorry you have to see me without a smile.
But,
are you gonna be alright?
 
No,
I'm just afraid
they'll think I'm mad or something,
and I don't WANT people to think
I'm mad.
Because I'm not.
I am.
Here the thing about people, though,
most of us spend most of our thoughts
thinking about ourselves,
and what we're doing.
Unfortunately,
I'm the only thinking about these cool clothes I'm wearing,
that I thought would be uncool to wear them,
since I was so excited to wear them,
but fuck it,
I'm gonna wear them.
Already in my hand...
 
I get to the register.
I ain't gonna put a front for these guys...
Ooh... *rubs tummy*
I feel like shit.
I don't care if they think I'm
pissed at them.
They're not babies.
They'll be allright.
The cashier looks up.
He looks pissed.
I say, "Hi!" real loud,
and cheery, with a big ass smile on my face.
Only one person can be pissed
at a time.
It's a rule.
If someone shows they're pissed first,
anyone else will just look like a challenge.
Choose your battles...
"How you doin today?.." he says.
"I'm doinnn won-der-ful!"
He looks away,
and messes with the register.
I relax my face, recollect myself.
Start doin facial muscle excercises
cus I'm white.
I accidentally make eye-contact with a woman.
Oh, shit.
Chill, man.
Chill...
*I get it back*
I got this...
The cashier hands me a receipt. "Thank you," he says.
"Thank. You." I say.
*hold the smile, maintain eye contact*
Nailed it...
On my way out,
I look back
to see if that woman's looking at me,
because I just did a cool social thing.
And, she saw me turn my head,
since I was in her line of sight,
she could tell I was going to look at her.
So when I did,
she's already looking at me.
Not smiling.
And I go,
I mouth,
"Sorry,"
with a big-ass smile on my face
and I don't stop making eye contact
until she follows me with her head,
then I steer my head back toward the exit 
and keep that smile going,
yyyin case someone coming into the store
wants to see what happiness looks like.
Like, "Dang, he's in a good mood..."
I know, right.
You don't have to tell me.
Strut my ass through the parking lot.
How long am I gonna keep up that smile?
Well, I'm gonna temprorarily suspend it while I back out the car,
because I want people to know I'm safe.
But, someone else is also backing out?
Let them go first!
*big ass smile*
Wave at them when they wave at me.
"I like that person..."


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