Sex Ain’t the Greatest

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 07, 2016

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Submitted: October 07, 2016

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It may be hard to swallow but sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be… and saying this you probably think I’m some kind of pervert or at least a weirdo. But trust me, it ain’t so. I enjoy an orgasm just like the next guy, and I don’t know if I’ve ever had a bad one. I mean how can it be bad if it always feels good, and I admit, sometimes great, but never ever bad.

At any rate, if you’re still with me, the girl I cared for most in my life is the girl I had the most fun with and we never went to bed. Well, you must now think I’m a weirdo for sure. So let me tell you about her, and when I speak of her, I speak of us ‘cause we were never apart.

True, we lived next door to each other and true, we were both only twelve years old, but that still doesn’t mean we should be best buddies, but we were. We were like cucumbers and tomatoes, always together, stuck like two flies on flypaper.

You know, good ole Zippy was like my shadow. Wherever I went she was there. She could run faster and with those long legs jump higher than any of the guys. The two of us could take on anyone playing two on two. In basketball, she knew how to feed me the ball; and, in football, she could wack the ball so hard no sane guy wanted to be between the ball and the goal post.

She was something and she could tell great jokes. We joked around from the time we got up ‘til bedtime and had our own private jokes. When I’d tell a story with all the guys around ole Zip would laugh her head off and wink at me and we knew what no one else knew. It used to crack us up. She had plenty of guts and more nerve than any of the guys ‘cause none of my gang ever wanted to cut school and catch a movie. But good ole Zippy and me would ditch school just about every other Wednesday and head to the movies. We’d walk in backwards when everyone was walking out from the previous show ‘cause we never had any money. We’d duck down under the seats ‘til the movie house got dark and we’d sneak in again without ever getting caught.

We used to run wherever we went, buried each other in the sand down at the beach all year long; and, ride the busses for hours and laugh at all the other funny lookin’ riders. Sometimes we’d get screamed at for making funny faces. But we didn’t care. We were happier than pigs in mud on a religious kibbutz knowing we wouldn’t be eaten.

Like it was yesterday, when we were in the park and it began to rain and we loved it, jumpin’ in the puddles and all, and we got soaked and I made believe I was Gene Kelly. I started dancin’ in the rain. Tap dancin’, and you know I didn’t know how. But I was faking it and jumping in the puddles of rain and doing crazy steps I was making up. Good ole Zippy was laughing and began following me, like my shadow, like I told you before. She began making up her steps and we were dancin’ like crazy, and when we were both out of breath, we laid down on our backs in the grass and the rain was pouring down on our faces. We were roaring with laughter and started rolling and rolled down the whole hill. At the bottom ole Zippy jumped on me and said: “You’re the greatest”, and she kissed me on the cheek.

My whole body warmed up and we got up and ran home together. I was excited just holding her hand. It gave me more pleasure than any other girl I ever went to bed with. I can hardly remember the names of all the girls, and I really can’t remember the feeling of all those orgasms. But I can never forget that kiss on the cheek and holding the hand of good ole Zippy while running in the rain with my heart pounding.

 


© Copyright 2017 Lenny Lowengrub. All rights reserved.

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