A Midsummer Nights Dream: Star Wars

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Fantasy Realm

Submitted: October 15, 2016

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Submitted: October 15, 2016

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Jedi Master Oberon- Padawan Puck-

Lysander Skywalker- Darth Demetrius-

Princess Hermia- Princess Helena-

 

OBERON (Enters)

I wonder if Titania is awake yet?

 

PUCK (Enters)

 

OBERON

What havoc have you wreaked in this part of the galaxy?

 

PUCK

Titania is in love with a monster. Jabba the Hutt.

 

OBERON

This is going even better than I planned. But have you put the love juice on the eyes of that Jedi?

 

PUCK

Yes, I found him when he was asleep—so that’s taken care of too—and the Princess was sleeping near him. When he woke up, he must have seen her.

 

DEMETRIUS and HERMIA enter.

 

OBERON

Why look? Here’s the Jedi.

 

PUCK

That’s definitely the Princess. But it’s not the same Jedi.

 

DEMETRIUS

I didn’t kill Lysander. As far as I know, he’s not even dead.

 

HERMIA

Then please tell me he’s all right.

 

DEMETRIUS

If I told you that, what would I get out of it?

 

HERMIA

You’ll never see me again.

 

DEMETRIUS & HERMIA Exit

 

OBERON

What have you done? You’ve made a mistake and put the love-juice on someone else.

 

PUCK

Sorry?

 

OBERON

Go around the galaxy, and make sure you find Helena. Bring her here and I’ll put the charm on his eyes for when she comes.

 

PUCK

Alright, I set my ship to light-speed.

 

OBERON

The noise it’ll making will get their attention. I will just do it myself.

 

PUCK

Then the two of them will both love one girl. That will be funny enough.

 

LYSANDER and HELENA enter.  OBERON and PUCK exit

 

LYSANDER

Why do you think I’m making fun of you when I tell you I love you? I swear that I love you.

 

HELENA

You’ve made the same promises to me and to Hermia.

 

LYSANDER

I wasn’t thinking clearly when I made those promises to her.

 

HELENA

And I don’t believe you’re thinking clearly now

 

DEMETRIUS ENTER

 

DEMETRIUS

Oh Helena, you goddess! Oh, let me kiss you. It’ll make me so happy!

 

HELENA

If you were real Jedi, as you pretend to be, you wouldn’t treat a princess this way. You’re competing for Hermia’s love, and now you’re competing to see which one of you can make fun of me the most. That’s a great idea, a really manly thing to do—making a poor girl cry!

 

LYSANDER

Don’t be cruel, Demetrius. Right here, right now, I swear I’m giving up all my claims on her and handing her to you.

 

DEMETRIUS

Lysander, keep your Hermia. I don’t want her. If I ever loved her, all that love is gone now. My love for her was temporary. Now I’ll love Helena forever.

 

HERMIA enters

 

LYSANDER

You wanta duel for the fair Princess?

 

HERMIA

Lysander! I couldn’t see you, Lysander, but I heard your voice, and that’s how I found you.

 

DEMETRIUS AND LYSANDER FIGHT

 

DEMETRIUS

If Hermia’s begging can’t make you stop insulting Helena, I can FORCE you to do so.

 

LYSANDER

You can’t use the force on me Demetrius.

 

LYSANDER

If that’s what you say, come fight a real duel with me and prove it.

 

DEMETRIUS

You’re on. Let’s do it.

 

LYSANDER
Back off you Sith!

 

HERMIA

Are you joking?

 

HELENA

Of course he is.

 

LYSANDER

Demetrius, I’m ready to fight you again.

 

DEMETRIUS

Can you hurt me any more than by saying you hate me?

 

LYSANDER

Hermia’s not holding onto my heart anymore. Follow me if you’re brave enough, and we’ll fight over Helena.

 

DEMETRISU AND LYSANDER BATTLE OFF STAGE FOLLOWED BY HERMIA AND HELENA.


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