Uncensored

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Rape, it's a sticky situation to talk about. It's been done to so many helpless souls. It's sickening but it's really real, it happens even though it shouldn't have. So this is my story, told uncensored.

Submitted: October 18, 2016

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Submitted: October 18, 2016

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It was a blurry night that sits in my mind on some days. Who would constantly think about a blurry night? Some people just simply don’t understand. But I guess we all have different mindsets huh? So i’m going to tell you all about my encounter uncensored. This is as real as it gets. Are you ready?

It was a weekend that I thought would be fun, a weekend I thought would be the best one yet but things just didn’t turn out that way. I honestly for the life of me can’t remember what date it was, I couldn’t tell you and it sucks not knowing because it ended up screwing me in the end. But I will tell you what I do remember. My uncle had gotten ahold of me and we were talking about how distant our family has gotten and that I should come visit them, well I did. I asked my mom if I could go for the weekend and she was a little weary about it for some reason but I kept begging and so of course she finally said yes, I should’ve listened to her. I was only 12 at the time, no big deal right? Just a little innocent niece wanting to see her family. Well Friday night went good, it was so fun, eating junk food, drinking soda, watching movies with my uncles fiance and I ended up falling asleep on the couch. Well we all woke up Saturday and my uncle went and applied at jobs and then went back to the house, my uncles fiance got ready for work a little later on that night, and then me and my uncle went to this biker club that my family always went to. It was fun, we played pool, watched tv, talked with the family, ate yummy food and spent quality time with the people I thought I could love and trust. Well we ended up leaving sort of late and my uncle had his motorcycle and he didn’t want me to be cold so I rode with his friend in his friend's car while my uncle was behind us. We got home and started watching tv and I felt sleepy so I layed out on the gaming chair and began drowsing off. My uncle had seen it and so he told me I could lay on the bed, I didn’t think anything of it, I was a little 12 year old girl and he was family so I really didn’t see the problem because he wasn’t even in bed yet. Well then it happened suddenly and I couldn’t and didn’t want to process what was happening.

He laid on the bed next to me and I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach so I pretended I was asleep, just for some reason I knew something terrible was about to take place. He started touching on me, and started rubbing his body on my back then he started kissing my neck and I knew it wasn’t right. So many things were going around in my little 12 year old head, why is he doing this? What is he even doing? What do I do? So I just laid there still pretending to be asleep. He started taking his pants off and I knew what was coming next wasn’t something I wanted, he was laying next to me naked. He started kissing and pulling on me harder. He layed me on my back and I kept silent and kept my eyes shut, I thought that maybe if he thinks i’m asleep he’ll leave me alone but that didn’t happen. He then took my pants and underwear off and climbed on top of me, and tried inserting himself in me but I was scared so I kept my legs together and moved in a sleepy way so he still thought I was sleeping. He tried having sex with me for a good 30 minutes or so. He must of realized it wasn’t going to happen so he put his head down near my private parts and started doing things with his mouth, came back up and was kissing on my neck again. I wanted to shove him off so bad but I was scared to see what he would’ve done.

His phone started going off, he hurriedly jumped off me got redressed, picked me up and brought me to the spare bedroom and laid me down walked out and shut the door behind him. It was over, I could breathe again. I laid still and heard his fiance come into the house shortly after. All I could think was did he plan to do those things? Why had he have an alarm set? Did he try all those things on purpose or was it something he just decided to do last minute. I didn’t know how to feel or what to think so I just rolled over closed my eyes and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and he acted like nothing had happened, he acted like everything was okay, like what he did didn’t matter. So like the little 12 year old I was, I brushed it off and played along. What was I supposed to do? I waited for my sister to come get me and I went home not saying a word. I just kept it in and went on with my life. I was too scared to come forward, I was lost for words and didn’t know what to say. A few months past and I still kept to myself, I didn’t dare tell anyone what had happened a few months back. I was scared of people’s reactions, do you blame me? I was 12 and figured who would believe a little 12 year old? But one day I came forward and still to this day people don’t believe me, but you know what? I generally don’t care. Me and him both know what happened and I don’t care who believes and who don’t. I know how pathetic he his and I spoke up, that’s all that matters.

No he didn’t get justice, yes he got away with it. Just like that. I was left hurt and he was left free, with no guilt of what innocence he took. Cases like mine are always pushed aside until it’s too late. The raper gets away and the innocent person is left hurt and there isn’t anything anyone can say or do to make you feel better. When you're told that your case has been dropped you don’t know how to feel. You finally came forward and no authority believes you. It sucks, it hurts, but it’s real. It’s the crappy part of life. The things that happened shouldn’t have went down but it did, and there’s no going back. So all you can do is pray for justice, wish for the best, and pray another innocent person doesn’t get the same thing done to them. Rape is real, it sucks but it’s very real. It’s uncensored, scary, terrible, and devastating but it’s real. All we can do as victims is stick together and not give up. I wish I would’ve fought the case harder, I wish I wouldn’t have given up so easily. So if it happens to you, come forward, don’t hold it back, and fight with all you have and if people don’t believe you give them the bird and keep fighting, and don’t give up no matter what, don’t give up, don’t let them get you down. Together we can do this, together we will stand, together we can conquer anything out little hearts desire, together we can get justice!


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