Fate

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
18 year old girl diagnosed with leukemia 50/50 chance of living falls in love with her best friend.

Submitted: October 18, 2016

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Submitted: October 18, 2016

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It was cold fall evening in france of 1999.  An 18 year old girl, named Grey, sat listening to the news of her disease. This update was just like the rest, depressing.
“Well, it looks like it’s slowly starting to spread throughout your body, and it looks like you have a 50/50 chances  of living.” Dr. Taylor said. This tragic news crushed me, just when I thought I was getting better. 
The night seemed like a million years. I kept tossing and turning out of frustration.  It seemed like sleep wasn’t the best option because there might be the possibility I wouldn’t wake up. 
The next morning I stood by my locker and wasted time. I heard my name being called so I turned only to see Ryan waving his hand trying to get my attention. I struggled to break the news but I knew I had too. “Well…...uh…...I h….ha….had my appointment….yes….yesterday…” I could see Ryan slowly breaking. “ they said the Leukemia is starting to spread and it's only going to get worse, I was told that my chances to live are very slim.”
Ryan looked worried and broken. “What went wrong?” 
His tight hug engulfed me. “ The chemotherapy failed.” 
I knew he noticed my hair was falling out but he kept playing with what remained. The idea of no more hair pained me. Inside I was secretly glad that i didn’t have to deal with the mess and pain it caused. 
“The leukemia was resistant to the the chemotherapy” Grey continued.
“ Oh my god” his voice was shaky like he was gonna cry, but didn’t want me to see it. 
“ Unfortunately, there going to be taking me out of school permanently, they’re making me go to a special type of camp for support.”
Ryan was begging me to see if he could come but I didn't want him to watch me suffer. 
Then suddenly the bell rings, “ I gotta go.” Grey told Ryan. 
As Grey’s day continues in school it seemed like it only got ten times worse. 
************
Ryan kept thinking about Grey. He kept texting her but there wouldn’t be a reply. He kept thinking about his feelings for her should I ask her out, I mean I really like her I just wanna know how she feels about me.  Little did Ryan know but he texted Grey that.
**********
Grey looks down at her phone and said “ Did Ryan just ask me out? Is this his feelings? Did he mean to send this to me?” So many questions fulfilled my head. All of a sudden another text came through and it read we need to talk as soon as possible!! I didn’t even know what he wanted to talk to me about. 
I was walking to my next class and Ryan pulled me to the side of the hall. He looked into my green eyes and said “Grey, I know we’ve been friends for a long time, and I have some deep feelings for you and I kinda wanted to know if you’d go out with me?” Grey replied “Yess.” 
Every time I was with Ryan he made me feel like I was actually something. 
I just didn’t want him to have to feel like I was his responsibility. He would go with me to my appointments and my support groups which I didn’t like because all the girls would try to flirt with Ryan.  
The following day, i didn’t wanna go anywhere or even move it hurt to even try to reach for my phone. Eventually the pain went away and i texted Ryan and said I think I need to go to the hospital asap. He called what seemed about two seconds and said “ Babe are you okay?” He sounded scared as if he was gonna lose me… which I’d hope he wouldn’t but I knew from this point there wasn't anything i could do. 
As I got to the hospital I knew today could possibly be my last day ever. I could just feel my body slipping away. It felt as if I knew this was gonna happen. I started to fall asleep and Ryan just held my hand like it tried to comfort me. 
When i tried to wake up everything was blurry and i couldn’t hear right. But what i was able to understand was my mom said just cut the cord and my foster mom wanted me to suffer. My foster mom seemed like she is always out to get me. I looked over and Ryan was crying. I always felt like everything had to come to an end and I guess today was that day. 
Like in every romantic death stories it all had to come to an end. My body was getting colder and I was getting paler. The pain pills weren’t working it seemed as if the world wanted me to die. But my foster mom eventually stopped arguing and came to her senses and just said cut the cord. 
My life was depending on the life support machine and i was just so ready to let go. 
I never knew that there was a such thing as a non-painful death, until today. 
***********************
Ryan wasn’t the same after I got taken off of life support. Ryan didn’t talk to anyone for a while. He seemed different for a while. No one knew what happened. Everyone thought I ran away but no one knew I died. I knew that i was in a good place .
**************
I knew where I was this is where I always wanted to be. I missed Ryan but I knew I could watch over him. Both of my moms we’re grieving that they just lost the “perfect daughter” but I was far from perfect. I was just a time bomb. 
************************
Ryan turned out to be bisexual. He dropped football, society. BUt he started doing drugs and drinking because of his boyfriend

 

 

 

 

 Ryan didn't understand that I couldn’t run in the fields, or swim for a long time. I never felt more limited in my life.
It all changed the night I chose to stay with him. I never knew that this is how everything would come to an end. I wanted at least a year more but I knew that wasn’t possible my lungs wouldn’t hold up long enough. I told him about how long i would survive but I never knew this is how it would all end. I lived by this one quote “all good things must come to an end” I just needed to figure out why this all happened to me. 


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