This Is How I Will Remember Us

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I decided to take a trip down to memory lane for one last time.

Submitted: October 21, 2016

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Submitted: October 21, 2016

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As I lay down on the field where we used to watch the stars illuminate the sky, I cannot contain the powerful emotions that has been controlling me these past few days. About two months ago, we were sitting comfortably on this very spot, laughing uncontrollably until our stomachs gave out. It was our usual date -- a casual and easy-going kind of date. It was nothing cheesy or romantic. But still, it was our date.

We hung out as best friends just like we used to. Drank some beer. Got a little too drunk. Thankfully, we managed to survive through the night.

I walked you home. You always believed that walking is the best exercise one could have given the busy schedule. And if given the chance to do so, you would do so. While walking, we sang our favorite songs. Belted our voice out until our lungs cannot serve us anymore. But during that course in time, that was when it happened.

A week after, we found ourselves in a completely different place. After the doctor diagnosed you with dementia, it slowly ate you alive. Bit by bit, memories about your family, your friends, and about us, started to dismantle themselves from you. You were admitted straight to the hospital after diagnosis. Each day, I stayed with you -- hoping and praying that you will get through. But as the clocked ticked by the second, I watched you suffer. I watched you endure the agony of wanting to remember something when you cannot anymore. You fought with all your heart as I saw in your eyes the will to live.  But our fight with dementia has ended thereafter. And we lost it.

I miss you every day. A day does not go by when you are not inside my head. Day and night, I reminisce the memories we have had. From the time that we met until the day that you left, I relive all of them. You’re my first thought in the morning. You’re my last thought before I fall asleep. And you’re almost my every thought in between. But every time I ponder upon my cherished recollections I have of us, my hearts aches in grief for your loss. But I figured, I have to let go. I felt that it is what you would have wanted me to do. We could not stand the sight of each other being in pain. And I would be selfish if I continue to be the way that I am.

Which is why for you, my love, I decided to take a trip down to memory lane for one last time.

I first thought about the place where we first met as nothing will ever compare to the feeling I felt the first time I laid my eyes on you. I met you in a museum. I just happened to pass by the place to unwind and let my mind wander to the imaginative world of various masterpieces that decorated the museum. Numerous artworks flaunted their beauty across the various halls of the gallery. But none of them caught my eye because there was you. You were incredibly beautiful and that was the least interesting thing about you. You were actually an artist; a painter to be exact. You were there because the museum just bought your piece and you were beyond proud of it. I passed by your work and instantly became interested in it. Out of curiosity, I asked you to explain your inspiration behind your work. And you did so with grace and I was completely left at awe. Right then and there, I fell in love. Due to the sudden outpour of my emotions, I asked you out. And to my luck, you said yes.

I guess meeting you was fate. And wanting to get to know you more was a choice. But falling in love with you at that very day was completely out of control.

Moving forward down memory lane, my mind’s second stop was where I asked you if you could be mine as I am already yours. It was in a beach. You told me a million times that you are deeply in love with the beach. It was where most of your childhood was spent as your family would often pick the beach over any destination. As a result, you learned to love the water and you became a great swimmer, eventually joining your school’s swimming team. You told me that being immersed deep in water helps you think and reflect about life. This is when and where you mostly get your inspirations for your artworks. No wonder the artwork I became interested in were painted mostly in different shades and hues of blue.

Having spent more than two years with you, I had a feeling that it was the perfect time to officially ask. I knew from the very start that I would find something beautiful with you. There was a potential of being truly happy with you. And I fervently wished, at that time, that you will realize it too. And thankfully, my wish came true.

And finally, for my last stop, was where we mapped out what kind of life we will have together. It was in this very field that I am laying down on. I consider this an important aspect of my journey with you because this is where I have fallen in love with you even more. I never thought that I would fall deeper in love with you as I thought that I have fallen for you in the deepest way possible. It was during this time that I realized that you really were the one. I saw how detail-oriented and idealistic you are, carefully planning out our goals and dreams for the coming years along with the ways and means on how to achieve it. You asked for my opinion if the plan was okay and I told you that it was nothing short of perfect just like the person who made it. In response, you let out your sweetest smile yet . And for the nth time, you made me struggle to breathe.

At the end of the night, we had a comprehensive plan laid down in front of us courtesy of you. Also at the end of the night, we had the most romantic time we have ever had. And the stars above us are a testament to our love.

As I wrap up my thoughts and float away from memory lane, my heart once again felt agony as it was longing for you. But just like what you have wanted me to do, I am now ready to let them go. It is about time for me to accept that you are already gone and I won’t feel your arms wrapped around me anymore. But if there was any consolation to it, I know that you are in a far better place now.

Darling, we had love at its prime perfection. It was passionate, authentic, and sincere. We had it at the right moment. We had it at the right time. It was as if all the puzzle pieces of life that were given to us were suddenly all put in place. There have been numerous love stories that existed before us and all of them were beautiful. But ours was defintely my favorite.

I never believed in forever before. But now, I know it isn’t long enough for me to spend with you. Because a true love story, just like ours, will never end. And that is how I will remember us.

 


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