Don't Shit Where You Eat

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
Proof that whoever said "don't shit where you eat" was right.

Submitted: October 24, 2016

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Submitted: October 24, 2016



Suppose a coworker sets you up with another coworker. Because this coworker is close to an 8 on the attractive scale you agree to see where it goes. You contact the person and you begin to hangout. A couple weeks in, said person tells you they’re still in love with their ex but also really like you. You get a 2 page message explaining about how there’s a time for you guys in the future, he doesn’t want to waste it now, blah blah blah. It’s November, you’re like whatever and life goes on.

Fast-forward a couple months. You and said person have to close at work together. You decide to initiate conversation because let’s be honest, working in silence for 6 hours is awkward. A few nights later its New Years Eve and said person messages you on SnapChat asking if the number he has is still yours. A few minutes later you get a text asking if you have plans for the night. After weighing the options of a night spent watching your parents dance or a night spent with said person and his roommates watching Netflix, the latter definitely wins compared to ringing in the New Year alone. Next thing you know its 4am, all that you’re wearing is your jewelry and said person’s head is laying on the pillow next to you.

Things seem to be going well. It looks like you might have an actual shot at something here and then…

It’s a fine Tuesday evening and said person has a nice date planned, an adventure and a trip to the Sonic drive-thru for slushies.  Around 11pm said person gets a phone call from their ex. He ignores the phone call and turns his phone off. Three minutes later, one of his roommates says someone is at the door. It turns out to be his ex girlfriend. Now wait. I want you to picture this. You’re lying naked on the bed in the dark with said person. His ex girlfriend busts through the bedroom door and flicks on the light, just as his roommate is walking past the room. His dog is barking, his ex is screaming, and you’re still naked. Said person manages to get his ex out of the house so you can gather what’s left of your dignity and put clothes on. By the time they come back in, the ex girlfriend is yelling all sorts of profanity at you while said person just stands there. You’re then asked to leave…although you decided to leave about 20 minutes ago when the crazy was just getting started. Once you get home you realize you’ve left your earrings behind. The next night at work said person drops your earrings back off without saying a peep to you. He quits work a few days later and you don’t hear from said person again.

I think they say, “don’t shit where you eat,” because usually it ends in a shit show. 

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