5 Things You Learn When You Have Guys Friends That You Like But Never Sleep With

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Ever had an amazing guy friend whom you have a secret crush on? Here are some things that relationship is going to teach you!

Submitted: October 25, 2016

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Submitted: October 25, 2016

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5 Things you learn from guy friends you like but never sleep with

Back in the days (not that far), at the tender age of 13 my mother laid down the foundation that broke the dreams of all the flirty adolescent boys I knew:

She said:
“Absolutely NO boyfriends allowed until you finish school at 18!”

My mother and I have always had a great relationship even though she managed to instill the type of fear that shadows every child with a crazy/cool parent who believes in good ole’ West Indian discipline. I knew without a doubt I would follow through with those wishes, but boy was that one of the most challenging thing I had to do.

I was an ok looking teenager with parents who allowed me much privileges; occasional parties and trips to the mall with my best girlfriends. Despite my mother’s rule I was allowed to have male friends who would often visit me at home as long as they respectfully spoke to me in the veranda.

 Although it was challenging and pretty easy to bail out and hide behind my parents backs (as if they would have known if I had a boyfriend in school), I still honored their wishes.

Thankfully I made it to 18 and a half boyfriend free, still a virgin but one thing was that I was never – ever - ever prospect free.

For those 5 long years, I maintained close and flirty relations with guys that I fancied. They all knew about my mother's rule so I became the friend who wasn't exactly just a friend. The best part about it was that I was able to talk to my mother about my seemingly innocent crushes, who trusted me enough to allow me to get to know them.

Now happily married with two kids, I must admit maintaining friendships with guys I had liked but never slept with taught me 5 essential lessons:

1.I learned how to enjoy my own company.

One of the main reasons why most of us end up in “bad” relationships is because we rush into it. We are so quick to escape our own loneliness, that we act without thinking or noticing if that person is not right for us. Solitude is not always a bad thing. It may be scary but just like any other obstacle it can be overcome. It’s important to be and feel comfortable on your own without the need to be with someone. I was forced into this comfort zone with myself out of respect for my parents but when I thought I was doing it for them, it helped me out big time.

2.You don’t always have to learn from experience.

While most of my friends were talking about their enjoyable encounters and dates with their boyfriends, I was able to watch and learn and witness why some relationships lasted and others failed. I listened to the complaints of my male friends about their girlfriend and took mental notes (yes I will admit that now).  I noticed re-occuring patterns for example none of my male friends were really content with girls who were overly calm to the point of boring, while they also avoided girls who complained alot without showing appreciation for the little things. This type of realistic knowledge is important for every woman because although all men are not the same most have similar likes and dislikes.

3.I learned how to maintain a guy attention without using my body.

There are alot of women who think that you need to have sex with a guy to keep him interested. These are usually the ones who rarely had guys for close friends. Those years helped me to discover that there are other things good guys appreciate in a woman besides her body (which is really just an asset in the whole sense of things) such as her ability to hold an interesting conversation or her intelligence and passions. Maybe the “bad boys” are concerned primarily about the way you look but the right guy will want to know that you are not only attractive or sexy, but also funny, caring, thoughtful and kind.

4.Befriending guys first, taught me how to decode their agendas.

When a girl has alot of male friends in her life, after a while you are able to understand how they think, how they approach women, their tricks and how to identify their ulterior motives. This allows you to think before you act in other words you don’t “get caught up” easily. Most men love a challenge, therefore the best thing you can do is take your time. When you take things slow it helps build a guy’s character and reveal his true agenda. Give him a chance to develop a greater desire for the prize. A woman who is slow to act, tires the men who have no genuine interest in her; the one who are merely after sex.

5.I learned how to achieve balance.

While I am not much of the makeup or shoe shopping type of girl, I do have many feminine attributes that I hold dear such as my natural interest and selection of anything that is pink or purple-ish and my fetish for dresses. Although it was only recently that I discovered that primer is not just for paint, I can comfortably say that I am somewhat a chiq girl. However, when you interact with many guys at an early age, you are able to indulge in “male oriented passions” (whatever that is). I appreciate my ability to be feminine that could be balanced with other activities such as my obsession with soccer and my love for video games or a good, rugged outdoor activity without worrying about breaking a nail - because I actually have none :)

 


© Copyright 2017 Kristal Manswell. All rights reserved.

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