For you

Reads: 499  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Two as one became two

Have I gotten so dull that I can't even see the truth? I suppose I must have. When I was a child I always dreamed of finding a partner to keep the monsters away at night. Someone who I would make mudpies for. Someone who would be outside with me in the sun. Someone who liked me enough to see me daily. Someone I could put all the love I had into. Someone who could help replace my family when they return to God. As I grew I was always looking for this person. For my soulmate for a friend for anyone. I got to highschool and I got all mixed and confused. I had what I wanted to be and who I was. I had all these hormones and they made me go crazy. I would get drunk alone and I would hope that maybe in the future some guy would understand. That maybe at that moment someone was watching me. Maybe they would send me a hand. I would cut my body because I wasn't good enough. Nobody seemed to want to be with someone like me (but how would i know since i only tried to get one person). I told my closest friends that I couldn't stop cutting and in turn they cut as well and I felt I was to blame. They told me that scissors are too dull that I should use a razor blade instead. I was alone but then I made friends. Real friends. They thought I was funny we would laugh and joke and then the news came. I told them goodbye and they gave me gifts and letters. I changed schools. I starved myself over winter break I would throw up my food I went 3 days without eating only drinking water intent on slimming down. I went to Valencia with a friend from gradeschool. She wanted to be thin as well. Her friends were different then me but they let me sit with them. For gymn class I'd always where long sleaves because my arms were very bruised. I saw the people who did drugs and i wanted to be their friend I wanted to take drugs i thought maybe then i wouldn't feel so bad. Summer came. I had to much time to think I was isolated in my house. I had to die "I wanted the outside to match the inside" "I wanted to cut and not stop" the nurses report quoted me with something like that. They took pictures of my legs though only one cut was very deep. I woke up the next day and I learned about life I decided to become a Vegan when I got home. They put me on prozac. My mom bought me a guinea pig thinking it would help but we returned it for two birds. Throughout my life I have been to more funerals then I can count. I changed schools again. The only good thing that came from it was You. I moved from friend group to friend group. I went insane I wound up in an institution for the second time .


Submitted: October 28, 2016

© Copyright 2021 whatadreamihad. All rights reserved.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Pinterest
  • Invite

Add Your Comments:

Comments

whatadreamihad

shit

Sun, December 18th, 2016 6:32am

Facebook Comments

Boosted Content from Other Authors

Short Story / Mystery and Crime

Book / Action and Adventure

Short Story / Thrillers

Other Content by whatadreamihad

Short Story / Romance

Poem / Romance