the fall

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: October 28, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: October 28, 2016



i am the kind that dissolves into the sky. my name is not well know, so the concept or privelege is just as high as if you made one up yourself. what will you call me? i am a girl. i am a boy. i am old. i am young. whatever you wish. start with a name. but know this, there is only one rule to this game: i know that i am brilliant, i know that i am extrodinary. i know i am a profound art and that my mind is like a diamond, like the sun. but this story is about a time i read the most incredable book. it captured my attention, my mind, and my heart. i was crying at the end of it. to continue reading, i insist you read this book. but only if you know you are the type to understand the following quote: the light is in the darkest, the gray, the tough words if you will. i am lost, i am drowning in my own personal blackness. and it is all because i am brilliant. if you understood this perfectly, and you really connected to it, then be my guess and read all the bright places by jennifer niven. if you've already read it, congragulations. but do you know what i am talking about? anyways, from there my life had changed. i couldn't even look at anyone the same. i was cocky, obnoxious, but only to myself. i knew they were all morons. the football jocks that threw an old pigskin acoss a field while i sat on the hill, with my coat pulled tight. when im on the bus, listening to leonard cohen with my headphones and looking out the window at the river, the great and mysterious earth that is nothing and everything. while people are chewing gum, laughing, talking, rapping, telling dirty jokes. i want to puke. i want to die. i am falling but quite literally. but not. i dont really know. my friends are all gymnists. i cover myskef with cool and cute clothes, with lip gloss and laughing, and to be honest, if i was anyone other than myself, i would mistake myself for another phony cheerleader. but oh, how far from the truth... wait, wasn't i telling a story? oh yes, well, i was walking from the bus stop one day when my dog jumped on me and licked my face. i pet her, thinking of how adorable she is. and as i walked home, i got all excited for halloween. i had a great costume, and i was going to get lots of candy this year! i sat in my desk at home and quickly did my homework. then i started with final touches on my costume. i knew i would be going trick or treating with phonys, but i was still kind of happy. when i got down stairs, i ate some pasta and sat by the fire, with a good, happy book. that wasn't to profound, just what i needed right now. and it dawned on me. i am not depressed, i am not brilliant, i am just me. i am truely happy at this moment. and thats all that really counted for me. so keep in mind. just dont care. be yourself. do whats right. not everything is a big deal. you can read a great book and not go on a spiral on how you are SO smart because you understood it and know one gets you so now im a freak and depressed inside. no. its not like that. i just needed to breath. and i breathed. and it worked. 

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