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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Editorial and Opinion  |  House: Booksie Classic
This piece of writing reflects on something that we all go through...

Submitted: October 31, 2016

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Submitted: October 31, 2016



David borrowed some money from Sam and could not return the money in time. When Sam needed his money, David managed to keep the friendship going with a sincere ‘Sorry’. Next time, David again borrowed some money from Sam. This time, he used the money for leisure and obviously didn’t return. When Sam genuinely needed his money, all he could get from David was a request to forgive him for not being able to return the money.

Who is at fault?

David---who genuinely asked for Sam’s forgiveness last time he couldn’t return the money but forgot why such situation arose and that he needs to be vigilant about his finances?

Sam---who forgave his friend for not returning the money in time but forgot the mistake committed by his friend and felt in the same trouble again?

It is simple. Both have the same fault. They ‘forgot’. While it is good to genuinely ask for or provide forgiveness; it is not wise enough to forget the associated reason.

How many times are we hurt by a near one, forgive the person and then get hurt again by the same person? It is a common thing in our lives; but why? Just because we don’t follow a simple rule ‘Forgive…Don’t forget’.

It has happened with me a number of times. It's hard to let go when something bothers me. If those who are close to me hurt me, I feel cheated, and it makes my heart ache. Such situations either fill me with pain or anger. In both the situations, who suffers? – Only ‘I’.

Those who apparently hurt me continue to lead their lives cheerfully while I destroy my peace of mind. Occupied with depressive thoughts of 'why so', ‘why me’, ‘why can’t they improve’? Enough! Now I need to find a way out of this suffering.

If I think objectively, the solution is pretty simple. I need to forgive those who hurt me, bothered me or succeeded in disturbing my inner balance. It is easier said than done, right? However, it is possible and not that difficult as it seems to be on the face value.

I have tested it and felt relieved of the suffering and have learnt to maintain the inner peace. However, I don’t need to forget the ‘who’ and ‘what’ of the suffering that I had. Not that I have to keep grudge in my heart, but to guard myself of the same bruise again. Moreover, I need to keep it in mind; so that I don’t do the same to somebody else. As I don’t like irritation, botheration and hurt heart, so do other fellow beings.

The famous American Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz also said, “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” Thus, the formula leading towards peace of mind is ‘forgive, don’t forget!’ Try it out for yourself!


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