Like You Said

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
this was something i wrote for my ex when i missed him desperately. he did actually forgive me and we are back together but i thought this would be a good poem to share. so ya. please comment thoughts!!

Submitted: November 02, 2016

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Submitted: November 02, 2016

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I went to the meeting knowing you would be there.

I hated you, I only knew what zach told me.

But then I saw you.

Something drew me to you I saw you and I wanted to kiss you right then and there.

 

Fast forward.

We were on the ghost tour I got put on your group and I still hated you

But something kept drawing me to you.

So I helped you.

I got close to you and

I wanted to you.

 

Pause.

I loved Zach

but I left him for you.

Some stranger that I hated

someone who did nothing but piss me off

but I wanted you.

 

Fast forward

that night we were on the phone.

I was talking to you and Zack

I couldn't decide between the two of you

and I chose him but I really didn't

because I wanted you.

So I drifted from him to you and shit

I fell in love.
 

You are all I wanted

I didn't care about anything

or anyone

just you and we started dating

and that was a trip.  

I remember the rides, the trips to Walmart, the mall, talking about forever,

moving in together someday, pets, bedsheets, everything.

But it wasn't all hugs and kisses.

I remember the texts,

the rumors,

the Facebook message from some guy that you were asking for pictures.

You always had an excuse though.

I remember one night

we sat on my bed and I told you I couldn't deal

with the cheating anymore,

illuminate by LUUUL was playing,

you apologized, cried, and laid on me

But I kept myself from crying

because I couldn't cry…

Not in front of you.

I was to hurt.

But I loved you so damn much

that no matter how many times

you broke my heart

I just pick it back up

and give you another chance.

I loved you so much that I was afraid.

I was afraid to meet your family

I thought that they would hate me

because it always seems

like parents never liked me

so I had I didn't want them to hate me.

I couldn't lose you over that

and it was selfish of me

but I didn't know how to fix things

and when I realized that I couldn't just hide

I didn't know what to do

so I kept hiding.

 

You became my world.

You were all I could think about

but I didn't want to smother you

so I distance myself.

I didn't want you to feel like I was suffocating you

so I acted un interested.

And I guess I did that too much.

I didn't want you to leave me

cus I was such a mess.

So I hid everything from you.

I was so over stressed

between school parents and friends and

I got to the point so many times

I just wanted to end everything....

but I couldn't do that to you.

 

And now I don't remember much.

I don't remember what led up

to you breaking up with me.

I just remember not talking for like two weeks

cus I didn't want to take my anger out on you.

And it killed me.

But you decide you'd had enough.

And I don't blame you.

It's my fault.

I should've been more open

I should've gotten to know your family

I should've shared my interest in you

I shouldn't of been the bitch that I was

I was just too worried.

Because I just love you so fucking much.

 

Then summer came.

Prom, I realized how much I missed you.

It was fun and all

but I wish I would've been with you.

 

Summer, it was OK

but I always imagined

how things would've been with you.

One night I took sax

down by the boat landing at dark

and I looked up at the sky

and I cried

wishing you were there with me.

I tried to move on

I really did.

But I couldn't.

I tried with Andrew

but every time he touched

me I thought of you.

So I ran away from anyone who tried to love me.

Because they weren't you.

 

Now,

you told me about those guys

you messed with over the summer

I just wanted to run away and hide  

because it hurt

to hear how fast you got over me.

but then you got close.

And yeah

I still love you

with all my heart and

I'm sorry.

Because I'm nothing but a mess.

I love you

and I'm worried that after reading this

you'll tell me that you don't love me anymore.

I can just feel it in my stomach that you don't.

Because like you said, we arent dating again.


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