deep into the azure

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
An uplifting reflective piece about a Blue Lady, who by way of being generally fabulous, and good natured, brought out the best in me. Sometimes it pays to have two dimensional friends!. Written during dark times, ..

Submitted: November 05, 2016

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Submitted: November 04, 2016

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I painted the Blue Lady within the first days and weeks of the accident, a time of unrelenting horror and fear.. My world had been ripped from under me within a moment,, and there was absolutely nothing i could do to change it…. it was a time to summon the strongest and best version of myself, for this was my test. however, i was horribly distracted and tormented by philosophising  it all beyond my means… bamboozled, certainly.  My culprit …a mere notion… a mere chaotic, wreckless notion with the power to change everything! Always uninvited, never expected  ….. She goes by the name of Chance,  and when she struck  that day  she brought  with her the most stormy of seas..  and then she threw me overboard. …

I found solace in painting, gifted in the forather  unsubtle nudge by an art therapist friend. In doing so, found a productive application for my own wrecklesss streak. doing whatever came to mind, in whatever way felt natural… no planning, perfection seeking or pontificating allowed.  ..,  Rather, using self expression to pass time without overthinking and vent my shattered feelings and anger in a safe fashion!.. none of which came naturally I confess. I was  even self conscious in front of my self at first.  By not being motivated by the outcome of the painting,,, the outcome illustrated a very honest and concise personal meaning..  i see it as a mirror into a fabulous parallel universe.  I had spent far too long slave to my overbearing, disjointed thoughts with their suspicious , insecure bleak nature. forever trusting they spoke only of truths and reality, and that they were ME in my entirity. fooled..i was wrong!..it was a nice revelation… How liberating  was to turn them off and become emersed in the kind of world I chose to paint in front of me… although still at the mercy of unforgiving seas, i could at least make them technicolour unforgiving seas! However fantastical, this world was just as real.

On completion of the Blue Lady, I  became intrigued by her serenity and vibrancy… she was a mermaid on a rock in the middle of the endless  crashing ocean…  my wreckless creation,. unquestionably all for the good. When sharing her gaze, I took a deep comfort from her expression.. Circumstances were horrid, undoubtedly, but it was now apparent that deep down within me,, I KNEW things would be OK… For she wears a subtle smile. The Blue Lady, knew things I was yet to. in her influence, i embraced being out my depth…She took me by the hand and we went a little deeper… 

I learnt through The Blue Lady’s vibrant serenity that I was able to maintain an element within me of joyousness, positivity and gratitude.. It would prove to be the vessel which I would brave those troubled seas. No longer would I swim against the current, seasick, thrashed by the waves anchored by those pesky little thoughts!! . It was time to part, as I was getting confused again. . she urged me to continue in wreckless creativity, and in seeking a colourful life. she also told me what i already knew in that thinking less suited me. then she went, deep into the azure.

Circumstances have improved vastly since those difficult days and they continue to.. i confess i now too wear my own very subtle smile occasionally..  I remain bamboozled by chance ,  however, I don’t dwell on the very small part of me that remains utterly terrified of her return… !  . Instead, I look to her sister, Ladyluck. and it feels she is  most definately on my side!,.

I completed The Blue Lady in the first days of 2016 and have continued painting dedicatedly since..  I hope my work does as intended and adds a little colour to your life, even if just for a moment.

Nadine Grace Gibbons July 16

 

 


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