Neighborly Conversation

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic
A mother wants her son to be friendly with the neighbors. When he talks to one she becomes more reluctant.

Submitted: November 07, 2016

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Submitted: November 07, 2016

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Neighborly Conversation

 

By Shadowgate

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Raymond Paul came out to his front yard and saw his neighbor Katy Hike.  She along with her 13 year old son Theodore Hike had been living next door to him for the past year. 

 

Raymond said “hello Kate.”

 

Kate replied “oh Mister Paul it is great to see you.”

 

 

Theodore came out after a hot bath and a mouth rinse.  Plus he spent 20 minutes brushing as he wanted a perfect checkup next week at the dentist.

 

When he stepped out he was surprised to blurt out “oh Mister Paul good to see you.  You know it is not often I get to see you.”

 

Raymond replied “well you were at camp.”

 

Theodore said “I wasn’t at camp.”

 

Raymond said “oh well the boy who lives across the street said you were.”

 

Theodore quickly replied “the boy across the street is an idiot.  Now anyone is entitled to be foolish but he abuses the privilege.”

 

 

Katy laughed a little then groaned.

Theodore turns to his mom and says “you know it’s bloody well true mom.”

 

Katy says “don’t say bloody Theodore.”

 

Theodore promptly asked “why not?”

 

Katy said “because it’s like a swear word.”

 

Theodore said “to you everything is like a swear word.”

 

Katy got mad and said “I want you to be on your best behavior.”

 

Theodore gave his mom a dirty look and then she said “get control.”

 

Theodore said “Mister Paul does not seem to be offended.”

 

Katy’s face quenched up and she said “he better not be.”

 

Katy and Theodore turn back to Mister Paul and smile.

 

Katy said “I’m sorry Mister Paul but we needed a parental/child moment alone.”

 

Theodore said “the parent was having a meltdown.”

 

Katy said “knock it off.”

 

 

Mister Paul laughed and said “Katy I think you have a nice boy.”

 

Theodore said “yes I’m one of the nicest kids in this school district.”

 

 

Mister Paul said “oh definitely especially when you consider how far downhill this school district has gone.”

 

 

Theodore said “well the teachers let the thugs and the stuck up little princesses get away with everything.”

 

Mister Paul chimed in “teachers aren’t allowed to discipline kids anymore.”

 

Theodore said “oh that’s just garbage.  They’re just too lazy or they single out the kids they want to discipline over the ones they don’t.  I have no sympathy for teachers these days.”

 

 

Katy said “now Theodore if offends me when I hear you say that.”

 

Theodore turned to his mother and said “what?”

 

Katy said “I’m serious I don’t like it when you criticize teachers.”

 

Theodore shot back “you don’t like it when I say anything.  Oh but if I hadn’t said hi to Mister Paul you would have screamed about that.  There’s just no pleasing you.”

 

 

Katy said “why don’t you just go back in the house now that you’ve said hi to Mister Paul?”

 

Theodore answered in a whiney voice “no I want to stay out here and talk to Mister Paul.”

 

Mister Paul just laughed and Katy got more frustrated.

 

 

Theodore went on to say “my mom complains I’m a handful two weeks ago when our relatives came she was a handful.  One evening it was just me and my two year old cousin and my mom.  My mom said ‘oh Theodore I’ve been in bed all day and we need to go to Valero and I need you to go in for me.”

 

 

So we go to Valero and my mom gives me a list.  I get everything on the list but the lottery tickets.  The clerk tells me he can’t sell me the tickets because I’m under 18.  I told him they were for my mom and she was right out there in the car.  He still wouldn’t sell them to me.  Next thing I know my mom is struggling to get through the door with my two year old cousin in a stroller.  She said she just remembered that you had to be 18 to buy lottery tickets.”

 

 

Katy said “alright that’s enough now.”

 

 

Theodore snapped “MOM I’M STILL TALKING!”

 

 

Theodore continued on “then when she gets in the store she accuses me of trying to get her arrested.  She’s the one who sent me in the Goddamn store in the first place to try to buy lottery tickets.”

 

 

Katy snapped “LANGUAGE!”

 

 

Theodore smiled and said “I forgive you for being foolish enough to send me in to try to buy lottery tickets.  But in order to make sure it doesn’t happen again I’m going to sing you a song.  Lottery 18 and up, la la la Lottery 18 and up.”

 

Katy said “alright that’s it go in the house.”

 

 

Theodore went in the house.

 

Mister Paul said “that’s what I love about kids they do funny stuff to embarrass grownups.”

 

 

Mister Paul starts laughing his ass off.

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 


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