Aunt Kristian Visits Relatives

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A family get together leads to headaches.

Submitted: November 07, 2016

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Submitted: November 07, 2016

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Aunt Kristian Visits Relatives

 

By Shadowgate

 

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Kristian Banner took her six year old son on a trip to see relatives.  Little did they know this two week trip to Birmingham Alabama would look like the Goddamn Civil War all over again. 

 

3:05 PM

 

Angela Lee was walking slowly through her neighborhood when her neighbor Jim Radge called “Angela Lee is that you I that pink dress?”

 

Angela replied “yes and I wanted to look nice for company.”

 

 

Jim asked “who’s coming over?”

 

Angela answered “my sister and nephew are flying in from Denver Colorado.”

Jim said “well that’s great.  I hope you enjoy your company.”

 

Angela went on to say “my kids better behave when the company gets here or I’ll get the belt.”

 

Jim let off a howl and sucked on his beer bottle.

 

Kristian and Kevin pull up.

 

They got out of the car and hugged.  They were so happy to see each other.  Kevin yelled “IT’S GREAT TO BE IN ALABAMA” and he waved a Confederate Flag he got at an airport gift shop.

Kristian said “Kevin don’t wave that flag in public put it away.”

 

Angela’s two sons Mark 12 and Forest 8 came out to give hugs.

 

The Lees help their relatives with their luggage and they go inside.

 

 

Kevin sits down to play the Playstation with Mark and Forest.  Both boys secretly hated playing Playstation with their cousin because he was better.

 

 

When it was time for dinner Kristian was chopping up vegetables.  Kevin said “I’m hungry mom.”

 

Kristian said “I know you’re hungry but dinner isn’t ready yet.”

 

 

Mark said “pretend that you’re food.”

 

Kevin replied “pretend that I’m food, what?”

 

Mark said “yes it’s easy and fun.  You lie on the counter like you’re doing and you pretend mom is using that big kitchen knife to cut open your belly.”

 

 

Kevin screams then throws a cream pie in his mother’s face.

 

Kevin yelled “THAT WASN’T NICE MOMMY.”

 

Mark and Forest laugh so loud that Angela comes charging into the living room which is nearby the kitchen.

Kristian screams and Angela sees her face had been hit with a pie. 

 

Angela yelled “WHAT HAPPENED HERE?”

 

Kristian said “Kevin was lying on the counter complaining that he was hungry.  Then Mark suggested that he pretend he was a big and I was cutting open his belly with that big sharp knife right there.  Kevin screamed ‘THAT WASN’T NICE MOMMY’ and he threw a pie in my face.”

 

 

Mark and Forest start laughing again.

Angela grabbed Mark by his ear and said “it’s not funny that suggestion was a horrible suggestion and it caused him to flip out.”

 

 

Mark said “ouch my ear.”

 

Forest laughed and Angela said “DO YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY FOREST?”

 

Forest replied “not anymore.”

 

 

After that they sat down to eat dinner.

 

After dinner the kids played their videogames

 

 

There were no more problems for the rest of the night.  However Angela and Kristian were not happy to hear the kids giggling before they fell asleep.

 

 

The next day Kristian got Kevin dressed up in a suit and tie.  She wanted to take pictures of him.

 

However Mark and Forest came up with a different plan.  They along with Kevin were in the backyard.  Angela Lee went and sat down in the backyard.

 

She said “oh Kevin I see you’re all dressed up for the pictures your mom wants to take.”

 

Kevin replied “I just wish she’d hurry up and get it over with.  It’s hot out here in this suit.”

 

Angela replied “oh what now?”

 

Kevin said “I said I’m hot in this suit.”

 

Angela said “I’m half asleep.” 

 

Angela yawned and then Forest handed her a bucket of water.

 

Angela still being half asleep took the bucket of water but asked “Forest what are you doing?”

 

Mark said “we want you to throw that bucket of water on Kevin.”

 

Kevin said “no don’t do that.”

 

Mark yelled “MOM KEVIN’S ON FIRE!”

 

Angela screamed “OH MY GOD” and threw the bucket of water on Kevin.

 

Kevin screamed “I WASN’T ON FIRE NOW I’M ALL WET!”

 

Angela yelled “OH NO!”

 

Kristian comes out and yelled at Kevin.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?  KEVIN YOU’RE ALL WET AND I WAS GOING TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOU!  WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL WET?  YOU RAN THROUGH THE SPRINKLER IN YOUR SUIT!”

 

Kevin yelled “NO I DIDN’T!”

 

Angela said “Kristian wait!”

 

Kristian yelled “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!”

 

Angela yelled “KRISTIAN I THREW A BUCKET OF WATER ON KEVIN!”

 

Kristian said “wait what?”

 

Angela had to explain that Mark and Forest handed her a bucket of water and they yelled Kevin was on fire.  She explained she was half asleep so she fell for the prank.

 

 

Kristian was ready to cry.

 

 

Angela screamed at both Mark and Forest.  She said to Kristian “two weeks with the kids, ugh!”

 

THE END

 

 


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