The Rules of Y

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Horror  |  House: Booksie Classic

What is the truth? Everyone believe it's own truth about various subjects, but there are some "common" truths and they exist when a large number of people believe the same thing. People who refuse to believe are often labeled "insane".
Death is one of those truths. People believe that the only thing that will happen to everyone someday is death. Eugen Einloft is a peculiar character that refuses to accept death as the truth. "Even when your body dies, your soul find another place to live. This is why i refuse to believe that death is the end" He believes

Table of Contents

Eugen Einloft

  Sometimes i feel like yesterday was three years ago. Why is the time passing so slowly? The few happy moments i have, i... Read Chapter

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Recent Comments

J.A. Greaves

You really need to proofread your work more meticulously. There were many simple errors such as capitalisation at the beginning of a sentence, and full stops at the end of sentences.
One massive improvement that you could make is try to describe your ideas in more detail. Instead of telling the reader, show them. A lot of times you decide to just say actions like I did this, she did that. I felt this, this happened. It is so much more powerful to give vivid descriptions of the events. Take a look:
(Showing) Blood dribbled from the gaping wound beneath my knuckles.
(Telling) My hand bled.
See how much more powerful showing is compared to telling.
I really don't know why you decided to use hyphens for dialogue. It is very confusing and strange. No writers use this technique because readers aren't comfortable with it.

Now the story. I liked the early twist that Eugen was running from his family cult. Instantly, that made me sympathise for him and it hooked me into the story. It was an original idea that is frightening to the audience. However, the rest of the story was very odd. It felt very jarring when it he turned violent toward someone he cared about. It really made me dislike the character because he could harm someone close to him so badly. I'm not sure if that was your intention, but in following chapters, it would become really hard to redeem this character.

Tue, November 15th, 2016 10:25pm

Alba Regia

I really can't thank you enough for this. English isn't my mother language, so I didn't feel very comfortable to do it... But I felt like I should try

I'll check some other writers to get a better idea on how I should use this thing about "showing" and "telling". I got the general ideat though.

About the story... I'm trying to give a message like "nothing is unforgivable and you should first forgive yourself". Eugen is clearly no saint... He is losing his sanity more and more until the point that he would make a mistake that he will forever regret.
He will have to deal with consequences and move on. This is what the story is about. I don't want a "saint protagonist", you know? But maybe I should make things slower and be more cautious.

Again, thanks for the tips

Wed, November 16th, 2016 1:41am

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Book / Horror