bring on the journey, take on the fight

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a short story that my sister wrote that describes the journey Iv'e been on the past 8 months. I thought it i would share my journey and try to spread the message to never give up no matter how hard things get in life and that things happen for a reason.

Submitted: November 14, 2016

A A A | A A A

Submitted: November 14, 2016



As I lay in bed sound asleep, I’m suddenly awoken by a piercing scream. I couldn’t tell the direction it was coming from or what was happening so I hid underneath the covers. But what followed the scream was the most mournful tears coming from my younger sister. I ripped off the covers from over my head, and darted towards her room only to find her in my father’s arms with a pessimistic look on her face as tears ran down her cheeks. She explained to all of us as that it felt as if she was paralyzed from the waist down. But what had baffled us, is that her legs will lose feeling and gain feeling back within minutes sometimes even days. What we don’t know is if the next time she loses feeling, if she’ll lose it for good.

Googles definition for a strain is “a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree.” The more we thought about it this made the most sense, or at least it was the easiest explanation. After the same symptoms kept occurring and she began to have trouble walking as well as dealing with the excruciating pain, we decided to do further research.

The first place we turned to was an orthopedic therapist because we thought that her condition was related to her bone structure as well as her muscles. Their initial impression was that it was muscle spasms, due to having cerebral palsy in her cheeks as a child. But after receiving that information we were turned away because they couldn’t help us any further. We then looked into Children’s Hospital located in Ann Arbor, MI. The next available appointment was six months away, so with high hopes we traveled to Children’s that night as an emergency hoping to get some sort of answers. We left with a negative MRI on her legs as well as her brain and no conclusions as to what her actual diagnosis was. Without any answers we began to lose hope but that didn’t mean we were going to give up. With all these negatives, our motivation to find answers grew stronger. The next place we ended up at was called the Mind Center. There they had thought she may have had a tumor in her brain stopping the signals from traveling to her legs, telling her to walk. When that test came back negative we felt a sign of relief, yet no progress. The next contemplation as to what was causing this loss of feeling in her legs was multiple sclerosis, due to similar symptoms such as numbness, tingling and weakness. But shortly after their theory, they ruled MS out due to the symptoms only occurring in her legs. Not only were we unsatisfied but for once the doctor we were seeing, were also ready to explore other options and figure out what exactly my sister was dealing with day to day. We were then directed to the rehabilitation center located in Novi, MI. At the time I had no idea what an EMG was, but what I did know was that my sister was deathly terrified of needles. I had overheard my mother speaking to my father in private about how they thought my sister would do with the procedure. We had made it to the appointment, and as the doctor came in, the look on my sisters’ face was complete distress. At this point and time, I had grabbed my sisters hand looked her in the eye and told her everything would be alright.

After the procedure my sister and I had a talk about faith. She had told me that when all of the pain and suffering began, she knew that god had a plan. She also said that god only gives his strongest soldiers the toughest battles. That day she turned to me and asked “if there is a God, why would he put her through all this pain.” I had a blank look on my face and was completely speechless. Nothing I could’ve said would’ve made the situation any better, so I didn’t say anything. I pulled her in close with a tears gathering in my eyes as I said, “You are so strong don’t let this weakness overcome you, this is just a test.” In all reality I had questioned God myself. I couldn’t process why he picked her instead of me, or why we weren’t getting answers. At the next appointment they had asked if we had done an MRI previously, we responded with yes but they found it to be a negative both in her brain as well as her legs. They quickly asked if we had gotten an MRI done on her back. We hadn’t so they put her in a gown and took her back. Later that day we had a meeting with her doctors to discuss what they found. All that we knew was that we were finally getting some sort of feedback. As the doctors walked in with a hello, we had quickly prepared ourselvse for the worst. The doctors had stated that the MRI showed in her back, disks number one and number three had been leaking fluid. With this new information, we had acquired good news as well as bad news to follow. The good news was that we finally had thought we had pinpointed the problem, the bad news is that there was no medical procedure that could be done. She was soon put on a Neuroleptic medication to help with the pain in her legs.

Weeks into the new medication my sister had been taking, we quickly found it to not be working out for her. This medicine had been helping with some of the pain at first but to my beliefs, she became immune and the medication. She has currently been attending physical therapy along with giving the medicine a chance to redeem her faith in it. As of right now my sister still suffers with no answers. We won’t quit trying until all options to figure out the healing process are found as well as tested. Her next appointment is September 14, 2016 where they will discuss how the medication has been working for her and hopefully have other options for her to try.

?Watching my sister go through something so painful has changed my complete thought on life. No matter what you go through, no matter what you believe in, no matter the how hard or painful it is you are still breathing. Life is beautiful no matter how negative it can be at times. Smiling, laughing, and living is the best medication. Although life can be challenging and cause you to lose faith as well as strength, don’t let it consume you. I love my sister so much. Not only is she my sister but my best friend and biggest role model. Mary Anne Radmacher once said “Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.” And that is what we will live by.


© Copyright 2018 Allyson Musiel. All rights reserved.

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