hearts desire

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
i just wanted to post this.

Submitted: November 14, 2016

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Submitted: November 14, 2016

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Love is one of the most beautiful and most painful experiences; you never know if it’s real or not. Sometimes the heart wants what it wants and no matter what you do, your heart will never stop wanting. You can try to replace that which your heart craves but it’ll never truly complete your desire. They’ll always be in the back of your mind, in your memories, your heart with beat so fast, and your stomach will tighten up by just the thought of them. What do you do when you can’t have what your heart wants?

My heart, it has a desire and complete connection to one person in particular and no matter how hard I try. My heart will not let go and forget; maybe I’m in love with that person, but I don’t truly know. I’ve had feelings for this particular person since I laid eyes on them, we became close friends for 3 years. If one of us couldn’t sleep we’d stay up and talk until one of us fell asleep, we’d cuddle and hang on each other all the time, we planned so much together. I got cold and he gave me his jacket even though he was freezing just to keep me warm, he was the first guy to ever do that for me. We got stranded at a bus stop once in the freezing cold and snow so we cuddled until we couldn’t take it anymore and we went inside of a pizza place and ate pizza, talked, laughed, and had a great unplanned date. We had a connection an unbreakable bond so I thought.  

He liked me, I like him; what was stopping us right? The fear that if we dated we’d lose each other afterwards. Maybe we should have taken that leap, but we didn’t. We ended dating other people but I just didn’t want anyone else but him. My jealousy ended destroying our 3 year friendship, because I was so into him, he was my comfort zone, he seen me at my worse I seen him at his, he made my anxiety go away. I wanted to finally take that leap but I was too late, and got replaced. I at least got one final goodbye kiss on my birthday. I would think that’d be enough but he scorpion “Get over here” mortal combat spared my heart. He’s all I ever think about, talk about; I just want him to go away out of my heart; so I can’t suffer anymore.

Loving someone you can’t have is self-destruction, it’s like a haunting memory, an empty feeling. If I can just remove this spare out and sew it up, I hope to move on with my life and start to love someone again and better. I don’t want to make the same mistake letting someone so meaningful to me go. I won’t be afraid to take that leap, love is an adventure and it’s so dramatic. I want to be ready for it, I want someone that will love me as much as I have love for that particular person and vis-versa. I want to create new memories that make me smile even more than the ones with him. Your heart is hard to say no to but once you’ve suffered a enough pain, you’ll eventually have to take it out of the ring.

If you have feelings for someone and you know they like you back, or if you’re not sure, just go for it make that leap. If you don’t you’ll regret it and it’ll just be a haunting mistake. Someone will grab them up quick if you don’t make your move first. Even if the outcome is no you’ll be happy that you did it. I’m sure there will be a time where you find someone that will like you back just as much as you like them. Life’s an adventure, your hearts a treasure so keep leaping till you get where you want to be. Nothing can hold you back but yourself.


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