Miss And Chief Play Doubles

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Miss and Chief are at it again!!

Submitted: November 20, 2016

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Submitted: November 20, 2016

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Miss And Chief Play Doubles

 

Are you up for a game of doubles today, Miss?” Chief asks.

Do you really think I’m ready, Sir?” Miss is astonished by the offer. This is a real compliment on Chief’s part.

Oh, I think you could handle it now, Miss. You’ve certainly come on a long way since your first assignment.”

Thank you, Chief. I’ll try my best not to let you down.” Miss really is delighted although she is not sure quite what playing ‘doubles’ means. Chief is sure to explain it to her on their way to the restaurant.

But Chief has given not a word of explanation during their travels so now Miss is just going to have to admit to her ignorance and ask. Either that or play it by ear and that would be fraught with danger. No, better to admit that she does not know; at least then she’ll have some idea what to expect.

Um.....Chief? Sir? What exactly does playing ‘doubles’ mean? I’ve heard you talk about it when you were training I.D. Otic but I really don’t know what I am supposed to do.” Miss looks ashamed. “Sorry, Sir. I mean Chief.”

Now, Miss, you do not need to apologise. At least you had the courage to own up to your ignorance before we got started.”

Miss wants to answer back. ‘Ignorance’ in deed. The only reason she does not know is that Chief has failed to teach her. She bites back her words, holds her tongue. He was paying her a compliment after all, just by suggesting she take part.

Well, Miss, it’s rather like what we always do, only instead of having one ear to whisper in you have two. The trickiest part is to find a nice position between the two ears while still managing to stay hidden.”

Ah, I see! Double the mischief! This sounds so much fun.” Miss lets excitement get the better of her for a moment and goes whizzing skywards. Chief grabs her just before she becomes a meal for a swooping pigeon.

Now don’t get carried away, Miss,” Chief admonishes. “The time for fun is when we’re settled in. Picking our targets is a time for the utmost caution.”

Yes, Chief. Sorry, Sir.....Chief.”

We are looking for two couples that are dining together. One couple will be trying to make a good impression on the other.”

But why would they do that, Chief?” Miss is confused by the whole idea.

Usually you will find that the couple trying to impress are after something the other couple has. A ‘job’ is often mentioned, or sometimes something called a ‘commission’. Whatever it is, it seems to be something that is really valued. It offers an incredible opportunity for fun and games, Miss. And that’s all you really need to know.”

So what do you want me to do, Chief, sir?”

What you do best, Miss. Stir things up!”

 

* * * * *

 

Now, Miss, here come our targets, the four approaching from the left.” Chief seems positive they are the ones.

How can you tell, Chief, sir? We’ve seen other groups of two couples enter. What tells you these are the ones?” Miss is genuinely perplexed.

I see you want to learn, Miss. Very good! The two men in front, see how the one ahead is turning towards the one slightly behind. The one in front is making all the effort. He’ll be opening the door and holding it open for the other three. And then he’ll quickly have to get ahead again to pull out the chairs.”

How do you know all this, Chief? Have you been consulting that crystal ball again?” Miss is quite impressed by Chief’s foreknowledge when the man does indeed reach out for the door.

Ex-per-i-ence, Miss. That’s how I know and how you will too. It’s the same with the women, one slightly in front of the other doing all the work, trying so hard to get a conversation started when they have absolutely zero in common. See the way she is gnawing on her bottom lip – a clear give-away.”

Ah ha! It’s all in the body language then, Chief,” Miss says, catching on.

More or less. You take the ones so clearly wanting to make an impression and I’ll take the other two. Okay, Miss?”

Yes, Chief. I’ll do my best to get them remembered.” Miss chuckles as she zooms off in to the restaurant.

I’ll bet you will!” Chief answers, as he follows her in the direction of the table.

 

* * * * *

 

When Miss makes herself comfortable, she quickly learns that her couple’s names are Laura and Matt. Henry and Margaret are Chief’s targets.

The wine waiter approaches, not sure which man to hand the list to. He hovers at the edge of the table and Miss jumps in.

You’ll have to let him pick, you know,” she whispers in Matt’s ear. “He won’t like someone choosing for him.”

Matt nods the waiter towards Henry. “You pick, sir.”

Well, that’s very good of you, Matt. But please, call me Henry.” As he looks down the list a voice whispers in his ear. “Giving you choice! He must be loaded. Go on, go for the best.”

Whoa, he’s got you there, Matt! One of THE most expensive. And who’s paying?” Miss chips in.

Matt shrugs the thought away. If this evening goes right it will be worth any expense. He gives Laura a nervous smile as he pats his pocket, reassured that his wallet is right where it should be.

The waiter arrives to take the orders. Matt again insists that Henry makes the orders and he does, ordering duck for everyone apart from Margaret who insists on boiled fish and salad.

Laura is horrified. Matt is well aware that she loves ducks and would never eat one, even if she was starving. A voice sounds inside her head, “Look at him. He’s intentionally not meeting your eye. He’s selling your principles for this job.”

Chief leans towards Henry and says, “There’s some tense glances being exchanged between these two. Could be a problem relationship. And you know what that leads to......sub-standard work!” Henry says nothing, but shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

Miss and Chief share a secret wave and wait for the food to arrive. They’ve made a good start, planted the seeds, so to speak. They’ll just listen for clues for their next assault.

When the food arrives Laura looks sick. She pushes it around on her plate and stares longingly at Margaret’s salad.

Chief takes advantage. “She doesn’t like it but wouldn’t say. Is she one of those women who just give in to the men?”

Matt notices Margaret staring at Laura, who in turn is staring at Margaret’s plate. He leans towards his wife, almost squashing Miss in the process, and hisses. “Please, Laura. Don’t make a fuss. Eat something.”

Laura lifts a fork of petit pois to her lips then defiantly puts down her knife and fork. “That’s a girl. Don’t let him boss you around,” Miss chimes in.

Yes, we all have to watch our figures, don’t we, Laura. After all, we’re seen to represent our husbands.”

Chief is impressed. He couldn’t have come up with a better put down for Laura who is slightly on the chubby side.

Do you really think so, Margaret?” A voice inside her head is urging Laura to speak out and it is very hard for her to resist. “Personally, I don’t like to think of myself as a decoration and I have my own career to think about too.”

A career girl.....” Chief picks up on that instantly. This is one that can be played with, both on Margaret and Henry.

She looks down on women who spend their lives supporting their husbands,” he whispers to Margaret, then quickly turning to Henry he hisses, “Career conflicts? Not good for business.”

Miss takes her cue from Chief. “Everyone’s looking at you, Laura. Have a drink.” And then to Matt, “Your wife is letting you down. This was almost in the bag, but now.......”

Laura drains her glass and reaches for the bottle to refill it. If she raised her eyes from the table top she would see Margaret’s raised eye-brows, Henry’s smirk and Matt’s look of horror. Miss and Chief take it all in joyfully.

Matt, that Henry is looking rather longingly at your wife.” Miss knows she’s scored a direct hit when Matt’s head shoots round in Henry’s direction, giving him a glowering look.

He fancies her, you know,” Chief whispers to Margaret. “A woman who drinks like that....who knows what else she’d get up to.”

Laura suddenly stands up from the table. Miss isn’t sure what happens but she collides with the back of Laura’s neck,.Laura tips forward and puts her hands out, sending her uneaten dinner straight across the table to land in Margaret’s lap. A collective gasp follows.

Well!” says an outraged Margaret. “Look at my dress. It’s ruined.”

Come on, dear, let’s go.” Henry holds his arm out towards his wife then turns back to Matt. “You’ll be hearing from us. About the bill!”

Matt puts his head in his hands, thinking how much effort he had put in to all this only for Laura to throw it all back in his face. “Thanks, Laura,” he says. Laura bursts into tears.

Miss and Chief take their leave meeting outside for a celebratory high-five hand slap.

You were right, Chief, doubles is hard work but it’s just so much FUN!”

 


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