Andy

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
A man has a visitor and things are awkward.

Submitted: November 21, 2016

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Submitted: November 21, 2016

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Sitting across from the man I thought about how exactly I got into this situation. Of course there was the simple explanation that our wives were having a night out and wanted us to be social but I meant deeper than that. I thought about all of the specific things in this world that must have taken place to put me in this situation. I placedon't my vision on the man almost glaring at the T.V. he was skinny and short with a receding hairline. Following his hair came enough wrinkles that his forehead looked like a doctor's essay. His eyes were small and mad lots of room for the large nose that seemed to take up two seats on his face between them. He was well shaved with a thin downward turned mouth and the smallest bump on his chin. All of these features and yet the one stuck out the most to me was the apparent lack of hands he had. I first noticed this fact when he first walked into my house and I extended my hand to shake his. This, of course, caused quite an embarasing as he introduced himself simply as Andy. My wife appologize for my ignorance while his wife appologized for not telling me beforehand. The just as they introduced us they left. Leaving just me, Andy, and a T.V. set to Antique Roadshow reruns. I cleared my throat and decided to take the first step. "So do you have any hobbies," I fumbled the question out of my mouth while Andy's gaze didn't move away from the show. I had already seen this episode and personally it wasn't interesting the first time. "Most hobbies require hands," he grumbled. I apologized and let the silence retake the room. After a few long moments I decided to try again. "Yeah my wife and I tried pottery but I wasn't very good at it," I chuckled a bit after that but quickly shut up after Andy turned to look at me. "Can you guess why I never tried pottery with my wife," he asked looking me dead in the eyes. "Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to -- "" "No. Take a guess," I tried to avoid eye contact but he wasn't budging. "Is it," My voice caught and I had to clear my throat again, "Is it because you don't have --" "Yes, it is because I don't have hands. How in the world did you guess," he interrupted me again. This time I shut my mouth and he went back to watching the shown After what felt like years but only took up the same amount of time as three Antique Roadshow episodes I heard my wife's car pull into the driveway. My eyes widened and my heart began to race. I waited for the clicking of heels to reach the porch before I stood up. Andy must have heard the heels or noticed me standing but he tried to get up as well. He was having trouble getting off of the couch and that's when I made the second worst mistake of the night. Right as the door started to open and the sounds of our wives giddy conversation filled the room I asked, "Would you like a hand?" Andy looked up at me in shock and anger. Now the biggest mistake of the night was the fact that I laughed at my own joke.


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