Ineffectively different

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
a story of a man who is different

Submitted: November 24, 2016

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Submitted: November 24, 2016



“Different is not bad”, sometimes we have hard time convincing people that different is not bad, but you know what is even harder? Convincing people who are different that sometimes, different is not good neither

I’m different, well it’s obvious how different I am, when people see me they can see a lot of things showing how different I am, the way I talk, the way I look, the way I think, the way I act, even the way I eat, food I eat and food I don’t eat

People’s look made me believe their words and as a matter of fact, their words were true, but it had an effect on me, I didn’t only see myself different, I saw myself better, and sometimes the best

Let me tell you my story, when I was at primary school, I tried to play football, I loved it, but I wasn’t good at it, so I gave up on football, then I tried to play basketball, I was great at it, I was one of the best

My coach expected I would reach the national team if I kept practicing, but despite all of that, when I went to prep school, I gave up again, not because I am not good but because I do not like it

All this time I did not know anything, I was naïve, listening to suggestions, believing everything people say, do not know what my personality is, trying everything, has absolutely no effect on my own personal life

Afterwards, I went to high school, I focused on studying, I loved it and I was good at it, then I went to college, nothing has changed but knowing my personality, which was different from everyone, but not too different

I was that person who is able to make a balance between two things, extreme fun and studying

It does not seem that hard or that different but back then it was different from what other people surrounding me do, people liked that, and started to perceive me differently, because most of them can only choose one thing to do

Whether to have fun, or to be a geek who studies all the time does not know what fun is

That lasted for only few years, until college was over, and I started to prepare myself for the next phase, which was passing a job interview

I went to a course that fully prepares you to pass any interview; it teaches you soft skills, computer skills, communication skills, all types of skills

Communication skills teaches you how to talk properly, I loved that course, mainly because of the group, the group was amazing and had amazing people

I also loved it because of soft skills, I loved everything related to it, speaking skill, presentation skills, debating skills, communication skills, I loved it so much, it had two things that I love the most, the first thing was good and decent people

In addition, the second thing was teaching you skills to communicate with people in a proper way, using your brain to help other or get benefits from them and to understand them

Then, the course was finished, and I was happy, because I wanted to go to interviews and be accepted then have the chance to start my career

Indeed, few months later, I went to so many interviews and I passed all of them, and of course, I accepted the best offer with the best salaries and best career

It was in accounting, it had great benefits, but I did not like it, I was really into skills I had at the course

As a result of that, I wasn’t good at my job, I was the worst, I missed my first promotion, not because I’m bad at work, but because of my bad attitude which was a result of hating the job

I thought about changing my career to something depends only on skills then I found that everyone applies at these kind of jobs, and subsequently there are no vacancies and when there is, they don’t pay you enough and in most cases, there’s no career, it’s only a job

I was sad, frustrated and disappointed

It’s the first time in my life I don’t feel that I’m the best, I’m forced to do something I don’t love and to feel I’m not prepared for the future, and terribly afraid of the future

Being seen different made me feel I am the best so I started to seek so many things, to find my talent, after a while I realized that I’m talentless, then I thought I might use my skills, but the job had already killed my skills, then I started to look for new passion

I read in many fields, philosophy, and psychology and more, I even watched documentaries, but I quickly lost interest in them

I realized I’m not the best, which was quite shocking to me, but I believed that I’m different, but being different doesn’t mean you’re better

Maybe you are different, maybe you are better than some people are, but believe there are many who are better than you are, and sometimes you are better even if you reach the same output, by using less input

Maybe sometimes we need to take a look at the big picture, maybe there’s someone who is better than you at work but your life is better that his and so on

Sometimes being different makes no difference, reaching the same results with different ways, and sometimes even fewer results

One year later, after reaching inner peace, I found that I love writing; I love to write about anything and everything, which quite gave me freedom, which is something that I love

And also, I love to speak, no matter what I say, of course I will seek to use speaking skill, I might think about poetry, but if I can’t find a way, I don’t care

Because I am one of many, one of millions, or maybe billions, who may be better or worse but different, I am ineffectively different

Oh! I forgot to tell you my name, well; it does not make any difference

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