fake news report

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is a quick type and again is just for fun to pass the time feel free to give me some feedback as ive only been doing this for a week now and still need to learn

Submitted: November 25, 2016

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Submitted: November 25, 2016

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We have reports that women up and down the country are acting in very strange ways that are making some men extremely happy and making other fearful for there lives. Our reporters should of been out on the scene exploring these strange and wonderful changes in female behavior except it seems our male reporters no longer have the need or want to leave there homes. So our female reporter Gladdis Hilds went out to ask men exactly what has been going on.

One man from Kilmarnock, Scotland quoted his wife had gone from a raving loony with more chin hair than Galileo into a very sweet hairless woman who insisted on pleasing his every whim. He was quoted saying  " I don't know if she is on drugs or has a brain tumor like our last dog did, but whatever is causing this i don't want it to change. The woman can now cook a steak better than a top chef, she insists in trimming me toenails, does everything around the home and the old battle axe ain't giving me no grief anymore

Though this joy is not felt by all men. Mr Farler and Mr Cox both from the south west region of England, were so surprised by there girlfriends change of behavior they have actually barricaded themselves into Mr Farlers family home in North Devon and are refusing to allow there girlfriends or daughters into the property. Mr Farler who says he is extremely stressed by the fact his mother in law is not just being polite caring and respectful to him but is no longer borrowing money from him and is actually insisting on paying him back with interest for money already owed, says he is shaken and very scared by the whole event. Mr Cox claimed he saw his girlfriend transform overnight into a nymphomaniac who wants nothing more than to cater to all his needs and who has also become extremely independent within the family home. When asked why they believe this was happening both said it can only mean one thing..the end of the world is coming. A thought that it seems is shared by quite a few men up and down the country as rescue centers are forming in all corners of England  filled by a steady flow of confused, scared and bewildered men.

Ian Blightly from London was due to marry his fiancee of 8 years a week from tomorrow, apparently under duress from his mother in law, but along with younger women, it seems the older generation are also effected by this sudden change. Mrs Tilling from Bristol, Ian Blightly's mother in law was visited by our reporter and made a small statement claiming that although originally she thought Mr Blightly was only using her daughter for sex and finances, she finally realized that marriage and the small piece of paper involved wasn't needed to prove his love to her daughter and that she had been clearly blind to his better nature all this time. She is currently providing Mr Blightly with access to her Ferrari  F430 with instructions he can return it whenever he feels he is finished using it and has transferred £300,000.00 to Mr Blightlys bank account saying he can spend it on luxuries.

Currently we are unsure as to why women all over England have suddenly started giving up dragging men to the nail salons,spending all there partners wages or nagging for that bit of unfinished housework to be done or why they are instead insisting that there male counterparts relax with there feet up doing whatever it is they love to do, but what we do know is the more braver of men in England are now getting more sex, better cooked meals and are no longer required or asked to do anything that makes them feel even remotely upset or unhappy.

Scientists in Oxford were asked to run tests on women sent to them to find out what is causing this strange phenomenon but it seems most have spent there time with there pants down and caught in a state of ecstasy, so as of yet, no work has actually been completed. This mystery remains unsolved and men for now really don't give a hoot about solving it. Though women say that if this makes the men happy well so are the women and no further investigations are needed. So it seems this may become the norm from this point onward.

On a further note it was recently released that  Prime minister Teresa May, is due to make a statement reveling the new laws stating that all men will receive higher wages for there valiant work done in the communities and that all men not only will receive better health care, which will include a weekly session of massage carried out in there homes by trained professionals but will also be encouraged to relax and take better care of themselves as a ban for weekend work for men will be imposed.

With all this taken into account it seems men all over England will now be receiving the love, sex, support,devotion and respect they have been striving to receive for many generations.


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