The Scarecrow

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: CLOG
This is just a crazy, silly story that I had to get out of my system, enjoy!

Submitted: November 26, 2016

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Submitted: November 26, 2016



Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, I do not desire any presents, nor do I want any money, I just wish for the demise of the scarecrow in the cornfield out my windowThis thing has been haunting me forever, even if I close the curtains I can still feel its beady black eyes staring into my SOUL!  So this year, I have decided to come to you for help, I ask that you run it over with your sleigh or something.

Best of wishes, Kathryn.

P.S. How do you load a shotgun?




Dear Santa,

It's okay that you didn't do anything last year, I can understand how you're so busy all the time, so this year please just get me a lighter or a pichfork or something, and I'll take care of him myself so you don't have to do anything.

Love, Kathryn.

P.S. The scarecrow is haunting the neighbors too, and they agree with me that you should send stuff for us to maul it with.




Dear Santa,

The BB gun was nice, but I've been shooting it for a while, and I don't think it's powerful enough.  The neighbors and I have had enough, and after Christmas we're gonna burn it.  So a stake and some torches would be nice.

From, Kathryn

P.S. WHY is that thing still there!?  The corn is all dead!




Dear Santa,

We burned the scarecrow to the ground last night (no thanks to you) but we can all still feel its presence among us, haunting us.  In the middle of the night, I feel its button eyes staring at me, and hear its straw hands on the windows, I'm scared, help me Santa!

Bye, Kathryn

P.S. I haven't seen anyone in the house that owned the cornfield ever!




Dear Santa,

I know it's two months early for you to be recieving letters from me, but we have a serious problem.  The corn grew back, and with it came the scarecrow!  The person who owns the cornfield must have bought a new on!  This year I ask for some trained or aggressive crows (they're the mortal enemy of scarecrows right?)

Thanks for all your help, ):< Kathryn




Dear Santa,

I didn't get those crows for Christmas, so I am just going to burn that cornfield to the ground!!!!  With or without your help!  I have gathered up all of the tourtured neighbors and it's all going down tonight.

From an indignant Kathryn

P.S. It would have helped if I got some coal for Christmas.




Dear Santa,

We burned the whole cornfield to the ground, but that @#$%& scarecrow is still there!!!!!  We are going to break into the owner's house tonight and make him take it down.

Hate, Kathryn

P.S. If this doesn't work we're al moving to Australia

P.P.S. I have half a mind to go to the North Pole and light your place on fire, I have a knack for it.




Dear Santa,

We broke into his house last night.  The whole place was filled with dust, it looked like nobody had been there in years.  Either the scarecrow killed him, or he was smart enough to flee after he bought it.  Anyway, we heard something and looked out of the window.  There was a hayride parked in front of the house!  We all ran away and are preparing to move.  I broke my arm jumping out of a window.  We are moving to Wyoming tomorrow.  I hope you're happy.

From Kathryn who is still going to get revenge on you one day.

P.S.  I'm going to send letter to some people who CARE from now on!


One month later....


Dear Bob and Larry.....

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