Show Me Your Soul

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 13 (v.1) - Fear

Submitted: January 01, 2017

Reads: 453

Comments: 8

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 01, 2017

A A A

A A A

 

 

~ Fear ~

 

CECILY

 

I woke up from the morning sun.

Where was I?

When I opened my eyes, I was shocked not to find myself in my room. I was in Ace’s apartment. In Ace’s bed.

Alone.

And it didn’t look like he slept next to me at all.

I looked around and it was the same as last time. Except that there were even more wires and hardwares on his desk. Some clothes were scattered on the floor. His clothes or mine?

Was I…? Thank God, I was still in my dress. Did he carry me all the way to this bed?

Oh God, suddenly the images of last night came back.

The drinking, the drivel, the almost-rape and oh God

I didn’t even want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t come. I shivered.

Covering my head under the sheets, I wished I could erase the whole night. But Ace’s scent was everywhere. His sheets, his pillow, his mattress – everything smelled like him.

I closed my eyes.

This was intoxicating.

I needed to stop. I threw the blanket away from me.

But if I was here and slept the whole night, then Noah must be still–?! I got up and started to look for my purse. I found it on the floor next to the nightstand and looked at the screen. There was a message from Noah:

 

Hey, Cecy. I’m at home, a friend paid the bail. Don’t worry, I’m fine and very sorry for putting you through this. Love you.

 

I relaxed instantly and looked at my watch. It was 9 a.m.

Where was Ace?

I looked around and went to the bathroom. I knocked, but there was no response.

Running my hand through my hair, I tried to recap what happened yesterday.

What was going on with me? I had never been drunk before, let alone gotten half-naked in front of someone.

I massaged my temples and thankfully, I didn’t have a bad hangover.

Oh God, Alex!

Quickly, I dialed her number.

“Hey, Cecy”, she said with a raspy voice.

“Hey! Alex, look, I’m so sorry I just disappeared last night–” What could I say?

I was wasted and being slutty, sorry I totally forgot about you but I hope you haven’t report me as a missing person?

“Relax, Cecy. Ace texted Paul last night and he told me that you’re with him.”

She giggled. “So, how was your night with Ace?”

“Not the way you’re thinking.”

“Oh…”, she said, rather disappointed.

“What about you?”, I asked, changing the focus. “What did you two do last night after you disappeared?”

She giggled again, “We talked. A lot. We went to a quiet room and had a really nice evening.”

“And?”

“Yeah, we kind of made out after a while. But it ended there. Today, we’ll see each other again. He wants to meet a couple friends for dinner next week. He asked me if I wanted to come, too.”

“Not a date?”

“Nope”, she huffed. “Whatever. I’m still thinking about going that.”

Bummer.

“I need to get dressed”, she yawned. “See you.”

“Yeah.”

I put on my shoes and looked around again. Huh… maybe I should write him a note? I looked for a piece of paper, but the only things on his desk were wires and screwdrivers. I went to his nightstand and pulled the drawer.

Yeah… the only things I found there were condoms.

I closed it and ignored the heat infused my cheeks.

Okay, I would just text him later.

As I made my way to the door, the knob moved and Ace came through it.

He was wearing the same clothes like yesterday. He tossed his leather jacket over some chair. “You’re awake.”

I nodded.

“How you feelin’?”

“Fine”, I mumbled and looked away.

“You want some coffee?”, he asked and walked past me.

“No thanks, I hate coffee.”

He arched an eyebrow, “Okay, some tea?”

“No, I hate that, too.”

Coming closer to me, he put his hand on the kitchen counter.

“And what do you actually like?” His voice was getting raspier.

“What happened last night?”, I blurted out. My heart was suddenly racing and the last thing I needed now was some suggestive questions. “I mean, after I fell asleep.”

He mustered me, and I felt like I was naked. “I brought you here. You weren’t quite able to face your brother in that state. And I don’t think you would’ve liked your parents to see you drunk. Did you hear some news about him?”

“Yes, he’s fine. A friend bailed him out and now he’s at home.”

He nodded. “That’s good.”

My stupid subconscious was poking me on the back of my head telling me that I need to say it – even though his answer probably would be something arrogant, probably I told you so.

“Um, also I wanted to thank you for getting that drunken douchebag away from me.”

He was quiet for a while. Here it comes…

“You’re welcome.”

Huh?!

His face didn’t have a trace of arrogance on it. Wow.

“Where did you sleep?”, I babbled, bringing my lower lip between my teeth.

“In my car.”

“The whole night?”

“Yup.”

“Why? You could have slept–” Shit.

He walked past me and smirked. “Next to you? So you could throw yourself at me again?”

My cheeks flushed out of anger. Mostly.

“I did not throw myself at you”, I snapped.

“Didn’t seem like that when you kissed me.” Slowly he licked his bottom lip.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but it didn’t seem that unpleasant for you. You could have stopped any time!”

He was quiet for a moment. And then the corner of his lips kicked up.

“We can continue where we left off last night.”

“Wha–”, I breathed.

“Now that you’re sober…”, he continued and I hit the counter with my back. Grabbing my dress, he pulled me toward him and bent down his head. “I won’t have a bad conscience doing… certain things with you…” He ran his nose along his jaw.

“Stop it…”, I whispered, my feet turning to jelly.

His answer was putting my earlobe between his teeth.

My eyelids flickered and I gasped for air. His thumb traced my jawline while his other hand wandered slowly to my waist.

“No, Ace…”

I was breathing hard. He shouldn’t… I shouldn’t… we…

He grabbed my waist and lifted me up on the cold countertop forcing my legs apart to put his body in between.

He pressed his lips against mine and once again I was overwhelmed by this feeling, his lips, his scent, him. As if they had already recognized him, my lips parted, inviting his tongue to drive me crazy. Now that my mind was clear, everything felt more intense.

No, my mind wasn’t clear, though. I wouldn’t be doing this if my mind were clear.

“Don’t fight it, Cec”, he slurred.

His fingers pulled me closer to him. He was like a drug, and some primal urge in me had no desire to kick the feeling. My stomach twisted, my toes clenched as he breathed against my lips, his hand between my legs.  

No, this isn’t real… he had said so yesterday. 

My reason came back, shouting at me. “No!”, I said and broke away from his lips.

I breathed heavily, running my hand through my hair.

“I’m not that type of girl, Ace.” My voice sounded raspier than I thought it would.

“Last night, I was drunk and not myself. I said things I didn’t mean to and did things… It shouldn’t have happened.” I got down from the countertop.

“Don’t tell me that’s because of Aro. You clearly have no feelings for him”, he snorted.

Enough lying.

“You’re right, I have no feelings for him. I said it because Anna has a crush on you and wanted to give it a chance. But that’s not the point.”

He was quiet for a moment. “You lied to me just because Anna had feelings for me? That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” He laughed drily. “You could have been honest to me.”

“And then what? Either way, you don’t want a relationship, right?”

“True”, he said without a moment of hesitation. “I don’t do relationships.”

Somehow, there was sting inside my chest.

“So last night, you just wanted to fuck me and that’s it?”, I spat.

“I wouldn’t have fucked you”, he replied coldly.

“Oh, thanks for not taking advantage of me while I was drunk and sad. How nice.”

Eyes narrowed on me. “You know what your problem is, Cec? You’re scared. Last night, you actually were yourself. You opened up and just let go. You weren’t the happy and cheerful girl everyone thinks you are, you were just you. But now you’re just like a scared kitten back in that shell you built up for yourself.”

“That is not true!”, I snapped. “You don’t know anything about me!” I snorted. “And what about you? Just because Victoria cheated on you with your brother, you don’t let anyone close to you–” Oh, shit!

His eyes flared.

“What did you just say?”

Oh-oh.

I bit my tongue and cursed myself on the inside. “Who told you?”, he asked through gritted teeth.

When I didn’t answer, he turned around.

“Get out.”

My heart sank. “Ace, I’m sorry if I have–”

“Get out!”, he yelled.

I was gone before he could say anything else.

Why, oh why, couldn’t I control my mouth for once in my life?

I couldn’t believe how endlessly stupid I had become. I thought I had learned from my mistakes, but here I was. I had feelings for someone who was mean to me and messed with my emotions.

 

I arrived at home and found Noah sitting in the kitchen. He must have taken a shower; his hair was still wet and his clothes looked fresh. But his jaw was purplish and lower lip swollen.

“Oh my God, Noah, what happened to your face?” I sat next to him.

“Hey, Cecily”, he said and smiled weakly. He looked so exhausted. “Yeah, I got in a little fight before they arrested me. It’s not as bad as it seems.”

I put my head in my hand. “Noah… this has to stop. I-I don’t know–”

“You’re right”, he said to my surprise. I looked up and he looked somehow different. “First, I want to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have called you. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated all of you… But I-I will try my best to change now.”

Huh?! Was that really Noah?

I looked at him, unable to form any phrase. I nodded and we talked for a while. He told me that Dad had a call this morning and had to leave for work and Mom was outside gardening. He went to his room to pack his things together because he had a flight to New York tonight.

I went upstairs and took a shower. The hot water felt good against my skin and like wiping away all the trouble and drama I went through last night.

As I put the shower gel on my body, images of Ace pushed themselves through my mind. His mouth on my belly… his tongue blowing my mind… his lips…

I needed to stop.

He was not good for me.

He was an asshole.

I sighed. I couldn’t get him off my head.

Maybe tomorrow it would be better.

 


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